i'm not sure what to title this because i don't want to sound silly and dramatic but i'm genuinely pretty disturbed rn. i'm gonna be ok i just need a good night's sleep but i want to vent here a bit. this might be a bit intense for cs forums so if it gets removed i wouldn't be surprised and i'm totally ok with that. it's nothing like. violent. but it's eerie i guess. so heavy tw for fainting. it's in transparent text and if anyone responds it'd be great if you also put your message in transparent


so i was sitting in art class today and one of my good friends wasn't in class. a few people were wondering where she was, but obviously it's not abnormal for somebody to be missing. whatever. so we're learning about the elements of photography and we hear a knock at the door. in comes our residence manager (she manages the students' welfare) and my friend (i'll call her caitlin). caitlin is literally being dragged by the manager, she can barely stand and is hobbling. she's sobbing and crying and looks terrified but i can tell she's delirious. but the manager says, "it's ok, you don't need to be alone! i'll sit you on the floor in the front here with [me, mizu]." i was sitting in the front desk and i'm actually so grateful i was. so the manager plops her down on the floor and this girl collapses. she CANNOT walk. and the class just continues as usual...? meanwhile this girl is lying on the floor beside me. caitlin is going in and out of consciousness. she's sobbing so i hold her hand and try to stroke her hair, which she seems to appreciate, i guess? i don't know. i was just sitting there in my desk with this girl going in and out beside me. like she was crying and every so often the crying would stop because she'd collapse again. she was literally gripping my desk for support. i asked her what i could do and she asked me if i could ask the teacher to go the sick room.

mind you, caitlin speaks japanese and her english is flawed. she's an extraordinarily kind, quiet person and she is EXACTLY like fluttershy. i'm not exaggerating and i'm not saying that to be nice. but she is a very quiet speaker. so it makes sense that she would ask me to do that when she can barely keep her eyes open. i asked the teacher and she said something along the lines of "[the residence manager] has already made the decision in caitlin's best interest and i really can't interfere no matter what", which makes sense but i felt absolutely awful. my poor friend. i was trying so hard to understand her but her accent is very thick and she was speaking so quietly. eventually the actual lesson ended so we had a work period and one of her japanese friends came over and was talking to her. she seemed a bit better but was shaky of course. they worked on their work a bit but her face was still blotchy. i felt AWFUL. i installed a japanese keyboard on my phone so she could write about what happened.

so apparently she'd collapsed in the stairwell and was having a dizzy spell. she absolutely could not walk. my hunch is that the manager didn't want to leave a lightheaded person alone in the sick room, but isn't your job to supervise her..? anyways. at the end of class, all the girls had to come over and lift her up because she couldn't get up. i felt so freaking awful but we had to walk her downstairs and she managed ok. but the manager again said she needed to get through MSIP (a work period) so we had to take her back up. she seemed great the rest of the day.

but it was just so freaking disturbing. the fact that the class resumed like nothing had happened while there was a girl literally begging me to help her was terrifying. i could do nothing for her and that hurts. she seemed a bit comforted but what kills me is that she is the kindest, most gentle person. like i said she's basically fluttershy personified. this was so out of character and i feel awful that it happened to her of all people, and especially in front of the whole class. my classmates are rather nice and understanding so i doubt they were judging her - they were more concerned if anything. but it was just so weird.

i told my dad who told my mom, which i'm annoyed at. but anyway my dad is livid about it. he said that he wanted me to confront the manager about it and defend her, which i said i can't really do as it's not my business. if he wants to he can. i would LOVE to but this woman is a wretch and i don't want to be expelled.

i did realise one thing when i was talking to dad, though. i think the superiors almost take advantage of the fact that some people don't speak great english. my peers (who are mostly asian) are also incredibly polite because it's in their culture to always show up to class and be courteous. they don't want to cause problems, it's how they were raised. i've noticed that, whenever i accompany them to talk to the superiors, they don't seem to take them as seriously and almost purposely misunderstand them? like i'll be listening and i'm thinking, "that's not what she means...", almost like they're putting words into their mouth. they're interpreting their faulty language to their own advantage. i mean, the manager was talking to caitlin like she was a child today. others noticed.

but when i or my peers who speak native-level english go to them, we get exactly what we want. they know they can't mess with us. if i even feel tired i can lie down. it's not a problem and it's insane to me that my friend was put into class in that condition. it breaks my heart guys. it hurts so bad. like how dare you? how dare you send her to class? even if she were faking it, don't you think maybe, if it's this excessive, she has a reason she wants to lie down? get help.

caitlin called her parents who are very concerned. they might bring her back home. i just cannot get over the fact that her parents are on the other side of the world and this happened to her. she must be terrified. they're also paying around $60k each semester to send her here so it's not like she shouldn't have proper care. it's sickening how she was treated. i am so incredibly disappointed

just a stress doodle before i go to sleep! i need to redesign all of my kwamis xD they're so cute

so glad i could make this for you!

most original name ever

i also gave her elf ears 👍

just wanted to color him :D

heavily inspired by this! anyway i realllllllly need a good sleep tonight so i drew this to wind down. it's a self portrait

Icon for emporio!

Thanks for commissioning me!! I enjoyed drawing this silly critter

just like the title and picture says, free ugly (and lazy, and potentially experimental) sketches! throw down a reference of your character and i'll draw them whenever i feel can ^^
just a warning that these will probably be pretty bad, seriously

character in picture is sprinkles :D

^^ enjoyyyyyyyyyy (4 c$ :3)

have 3 silly doodles and 1 where i almost attempted a realistic version of one but gave up and stylized it
honestly think aye-ayes are pretty cool, 10/10 would pet

love this guy. give me characters with mischievous expressions and i'll draw them any day.

SHE'S SUPER ADORABLE!!! had to draw her ^^

BANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANA

ouppy

ok guys i need to gush about my real life friends rn because i feel my posts have been a bit negative and i want to focus on the good

i freaking adore them. they're so sweet, they're so kind, they're so cute :) i'm SO happy i finally have girls my age to be my friends. i've never had this before. and they're NICE girls, too. they are so genuine and hilarious and silly. they aren't judgy, but they are honest and i like that.

i just can't get over it. they're all international kids and don't speak english as a first language, which makes our friendship EVEN better. we have to work to understand each other's language, but, at some point, it became our own special dialect of english. they're so silly and, sometimes, they will get frustrated and start yelling at me in chinese or japanese. it's very funny and i've picked up a few mandarin phrases (which they always find hilarious when i say). wo de tian ne i love them so much 😭

but, really, they are the most considerate people i've ever met. they're SUCH girls' girls. they care about others. one of my friends waited until it was exactly 12:00 in chinese time to send a massive essay to her friend in china. she always talks about her old schoolmates and how much she loves them. she really cares. she told us that the only reason she stays at our school is because she loves her friends. she made me a handmade bracelet for my birthday.

my other friend is absolutely hilarious and such a mom. she always looks at us with this :I face when she's confused and it's SO HER. she introduced me to japanese baseball, which i had no idea was such a big thing but apparently the japanese are the best in the world at baseball. her favourite player is this guy name sh-something -otori? nvm i just looked him up it's shohei ohtani. yesterday she showed me a clip of him saying "MONKEY NEVER CRAMPS" and now it's an inside joke for us. she eats 2 bananas a day because she wants to be like him. she hates worms and thinks that my japanese accent is very cute. we were walking by the riverside yesterday and i said "i will drink mizu" and she was like "oh my god?!?? yes??!?! mizu!!"

my other friend is from brazil. she is SO kind. she loves cats and is going to steal one of my teacher's kittens which were born about a month ago. she's a big swiftie and is so so kind! she's also definitely a pinterest girl. she knows her stuff and i can talk to her for sooo long because she is just so sweet. she gave me a big hug yesterday :D

there is also my friend who i introduced to this site! i doubt she'll see this but she is the sweetest, most caring, generous person. she's tall like a giraffe. she's going to be like 6'7" guys i'm not kidding it's crazy! we've been friends for so long now and we're like sisters :3 she likes foxes and wolves and i always buy her stuffies when i'm out. she's so great and i NEVER feel judged by her. i can tell her anything and i know she'll support me.

i just love how great my friends are. i have so many more but there'd be way too much here and i don't feel like writing all of it ;0; these girls are so amazing and kind and i'm so glad to be their friend. they're very touchy and hug-gy which is what i like, too - the first two girls are roommates and like sisters, they literally lay in the same bed til like 3 in the morning and talk. i just love how sweet they are. also i want to write down the things i've learned in case i forget them:

sha ma ? - what/pardon?
wo de tian ne - oh my god !
555555 - like 😭😭 in chinese, literally wawawawawa
juguhma - this/that thing
buh sha - i actually don't know but they use it like sha ma
wo ai ni - i love you
wo ye ai ni - i love you too
ni - you
wo - me/i

obviously this isn't pinyin this is just how i hear it i have no idea how to spell it or what tones they are. also loose translations i've derived based on context

ok so this is the japanese i've learned

mizu - water (mizu is the character in my pfp, i didn't name myself after the japanese word for water xD)
mimizuh - worm
i forget how to say i love you but it's like aishta or aishkuda idk
i find it interesting too because japanese nouns are very similar to english nouns. korean is also like this where a lot of words are borrowed and i think that's so cool? but the curious thing is that korean is more related to chinese but they don't sound very similar imo.

:3

aajksrktjioastjo i can't get over their design??!
this is probably my favourite icon i've made hehe<3

i hope you like this, meow-cat!! i'll be accepting
your trade now - if you want me to make a small
change, just lmk!!<3

(drawing feral icons for 10C$ for whoever wants
one!! just comment haha)

honestly don't draw many foxes so this was fun! hope its alright ^^

I've not done anything on here for years lol. so I made a little avatar, not my best, not my worst.

sorry if this looks wonky, horrible at drawing birds ;;
dunno why but i couldn't help but imagine them looking confused at... something lol

totally had to draw your sleep sheep, miss those guys ;w;