New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[zerocalories]

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If it's in a transactional situation, easy: Finish the transaction, and do not mention anything about their DNI or continue to interact afterwards.

see the issue with this is that it can be...odd tbh. because i know people (some people, not all) choose to deliberately commission art, get free pets/designs, etc. from people who fall in their own DNI criteria. in that case, it's obvious that X or Y dni criteria doesn't trigger them or genuinely make them uncomfortable, so why bother telling people not to interact? that's just being hateful. and it's just overall a bad look and an awkward position to say "don't interact if you are this or that" but you are initiating an interaction with them anyways. in extreme cases that can probably, probably be viewed as harassment, which again, is against cs rules. which is why (in these situations) it's probably better to just have in your profile "don't talk to me about this topic." and if the person's interests/etc. genuinely bother you to just block them.

[xX_Kiefernholz_Xx]

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If it's in a transactional situation, easy: Finish the transaction, and do not mention anything about their DNI or continue to interact afterwards.

see the issue with this is that it can be...odd tbh. because i know people (some people, not all) choose to deliberately commission art, get free pets/designs, etc. from people who fall in their own DNI criteria. in that case, it's obvious that X or Y dni criteria doesn't trigger them or genuinely make them uncomfortable, so why bother telling people not to interact? that's just being hateful. and it's just overall a bad look and an awkward position to say "don't interact if you are this or that" but you are initiating an interaction with them anyways. in extreme cases that can probably, probably be viewed as harassment, which again, is against cs rules. which is why (in these situations) it's probably better to just have in your profile "don't talk to me about this topic." and if the person's interests/etc. genuinely bother you to just block them.

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I don't know where to begin with this but nobody that I've heard of 'deliberately' chooses to commission art or purchase services from somebody on their DNI. If you are on their DNI and don't feel comfortable interacting with them knowing you're on their DNI, great, just refund them and decline. Some people don't want to bother looking into an artists whole history just to decide on if they're going to commission or not and are likely oblivious if they do commission them.

[zerocalories]

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I don't know where to begin with this but nobody that I've heard of 'deliberately' chooses to commission art or purchase services from somebody on their DNI. If you are on their DNI and don't feel comfortable interacting with them knowing you're on their DNI, great, just refund them and decline. Some people don't want to bother looking into an artists whole history just to decide on if they're going to commission or not and are likely oblivious if they do commission them.

people can be spiteful, and choose to weaponize these types of things to harass people and they'll be protected because god forbid you question someone's dni list and claim that it's fake. how horrible of you as a person. i've been in servers/communities where people have laughed about it, bragged about it, considered commissioning people despite the fact that they like a piece of media that's on their dni list, and i have actually discouraged people, including some friends, from doing this because it is such a weird thing to do. and yes, this all happened around people who are on cs, not just offsite. just because you've never seen or heard of it happen, doesn't mean it does not.

[xX_Kiefernholz_Xx]

people can be spiteful, and choose to weaponize these types of things to harass people. i've been in servers/communities where people have laughed about it, bragged about it, considered doing it, and i have actually discouraged people, including some friends, from doing this because it is such a weird thing to do. and yes, this all happened around people who are on cs, not just offsite. just because you've never seen or heard of it happen, doesn't mean it does not.

I'm sorry you've been around people like that, but they don't make DNI lists as a whole bad.

A lot of people still find them a useful way to respectfully interact with somebody and not all DNIs are a hard "never interact me" even if they are called as they are. For example, I have many friends from before I created a DNI list who fit the criteria of said DNI. Having a DNI doesn't always mean you absolutely can't stand these people, and can sometimes be because you don't want more of them around you.

I think the biggest issue with DNIs is, as people have stated before, they can contain content which is also triggering to others. The problem here being (I think at least) some people do not clearly separate DNIs from the rest of their material on a page about them where people may view them if they wish to.

And not regarding our conversation, but a general response to most of the replies here: You do not get to decide that someone having a DNI as a whole is hurtful. You are allowed to be upset by it and feel hurt, but DNIs are in place for a reason. They could hurt themselves by interacting with you and while it may not be the internet's job to accommodate for them, if you're aware of their DNI, it is your responsibility to be a normal human being and respect their boundaries assuming their DNI is within reason.

[Mew65ii]

I'm honestly glad these of getting rid of, even if I'm not that active on here and never used DNI lists myself. I have been exposed to a lot of disgusting stuff that I wished I never even heard of, due to DNI lists since I didn't know what the term was and wondered if I fell into that category. I honestly think as of recently, I been exposed to this kind of stuff way more thanks to DNI lists having certain words, rather than just scrolling through the internet on my own time.

I had the same issue but rather, people's DNI lists would contain their triggers and then proceed to trigger me when I was at my worst because of commonly shared triggers. There was a time I had to avoid social media altogether because of this common practice. DNI lists do more harm to everyone involved than protect the maker of it.

To anyone who opposes this rule or has a DNI list, I ask you to consider this because it happens so often to so many people.

Oh man, that sucks. I hear this often happening to some of my friends, and random people online, and even happened to me a few times.

[awesomekitty]

DNIs may be helpful or useful for some, but it's become harmful how common place it is for people(often children) to freely share a list of things that upset them. This will ONLY lead to people deliberately triggering them.

[Keith-Kogane]

Sorry - but DNI lists can absolutely be used to harm you. Not everyone is going to respect your list. If somebody doesn't like you and happens to be a bad person, they have the chance to use all of that and message you/harass you about these things - possibly triggering you in the process. Not everyone is going to respect your boundaries. It is unfortunate, it is scary, but it's true. DNI lists definitely "have an effect" on people actively trying to harm you because they now have all that information on things that make you uncomfortable or upset or have an anxiety attack.

Don't get me wrong - I always respect and adhere to DNI lists when I see them, but saying they can't harm you is a mistake at best and potentially dangerous misinformation at worst.

I think you are confusing a DNI list with a trigger list. Trigger lists are dangerous. DNIs are not trigger lists

They are different things, or at least should be in theory, but they're most often mixed. Either DNI lists are pointless, as in the thing you don't want to interact with won't come up in the conversation, or they are a way of listing triggers (Ex: "DNI if you are friends with [whatever person]" because [whatever person] bullied them and that can just lead to more issues.

Every DNI list I've ever seen is either dumb stuff (I have literally seen things like 'if you eat meat' which is pointless for basically any possible discussion?), things that can be easily noticed and instantly blocked (fandom, depending on the website certain beliefs, ages), or things that can lead to harassment (like 'DNI if you don't respect neopronouns').

DNI lists are the internet's way of trying to make everyone else watch out for your safety, but in reality you are solely responsible for it (or your guardian if you're a minor). There are more than enough tools online to curate your experiences, and it's extremely easy to block and move on. Reportable and bannable things are dealt with via reports, which is nice.

Also- this is a private site, run by a small group of people. There are rules and terms you agree to when joining, and they can be updated any time. They are almost all aimed at the safety of the users, especially the young ones, and that is priority. Discussion for something of this nature would be inconsequential because it's a necessary precaution.

Saying that minors don't 'get the internet' is also not ageist. It's true. The only people that I have ever been attacked by online are children that think their way is the only way and will literally send threats over anime. Kids don't know a lot because they haven't been around a lot. I was an extremely smart kid in more ways than one, and even I didn't know everything about everything like people like to think they do now. They haven't been around long enough to learn the things you learn as an adult, and that is FINE. But the issue is when they get upset at authority for rightfully exercising their authority for THEIR safety.

This isn't about 'saying DNI if you enjoy [anime]' is harassment. It's because saying things can lead to harassment in many dangerous ways. It's not some random rule it's founded.


(If this doesn't make sense or is too... idek, poorly worded? I'm tired and cold so I'm sorry. ^^')

[Klaora]

If it's in a transactional situation, easy: Finish the transaction, and do not mention anything about their DNI or continue to interact afterwards.

This is what I always do with ANY client, but it still puts me in an EXTREMELY awkward position.

If you are on their DNI and don't feel comfortable interacting with them knowing you're on their DNI, great, just refund them and decline.

Turning their business down is rather rude and just....not a good way to stay in business lol. It's not uncomfortable, it's just awkward.

Transaction issues aside, there have been people that have followed my art page or offered me trades on CS where I'm into a certain piece of media or a member of a subculture that's on someone's DNI.
It's awkward to tell someone who approached you first, "Sorry, we can't talk. I'm on your DNI list." It's arguably more traumatic to keep bringing these things up to people rather than most likely never have a conversation about X thing to begin with.

Perhaps my social anxiety is playing a big role in how I perceive these sorts of things. I'm a rather private person and I don't want to disclose certain information on people's DNI list but also don't want to ignore people because people get annoyed at that, too.
(And if I don't disclose what it is, will the person just assume it's the worst examples on their DNI list? idk, just another worry I have lol )

Just saying that if someone approaches me and I'm on the DNI list, it's a lose-lose situation for everyone involved. Not having one, we probably wouldn't even talk about said issue.
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Edit: I'm beginning to realize just how much my social anxiety is affecting me in situations like this. This is something that I'll personally have to work on.
I always feel like I owe everyone an explanation, especially if I feel like I'm being "rude" for "ignoring" them.

Still awkward, but something I'll have to learn how to navigate. Thanks for letting me explore this idea a bit.

[Waytown]

what about lists that show what users will and will not talk about? it wouldnt necessarily be a dni, it would just be something like "i will talk about:" or "i wont talk about:" and listing a few things. it wouldnt necessarily be a dni as stated before, it would just be stating things the user will and will not talk about. i think that would technically be better than a dni because it could LITERALLY be the safety net that dnis are falsifying.
-Haunt

[Michael's Fan.]

what about lists that show what users will and will not talk about? it wouldnt necessarily be a dni, it would just be something like "i will talk about:" or "i wont talk about:" and listing a few things. it wouldnt necessarily be a dni as stated before, it would just be stating things the user will and will not talk about. i think that would technically be better than a dni because it could LITERALLY be the safety net that dnis are falsifying.
-Haunt

well.. there would be no reason for this, because if someone you know or wanna talk to brings it up, just say you don't wanna talk about it. Why worry about something like that until it happens?