TheComfortCorner | V.10

[Soy Sauce]

I don’t really like feeling used. You call me up when you know I’m busy ask my personal questions, have me share personal things, give you endless advice, then tell me I’m not the person you need rn. Me and my mom were hanging out and I thought your call would be short, she waiting half and hour for me. Eventually she couldn’t wait anymore and went to bed. I don’t blame her ig. But now im sad because I had to think about the terrible things that happened to me in a fruitless attempt to make you feel better. You couldn’t be bothered to stop me when I started? You just waited until I ran out of bad experiences to share to say “I really need ___ rn” I’m glad they can help but if you knew that’s what you needed why not call them? Idk it just made me feel a little used

Hehe any who I found a bunch of super good songs and I’m obsessed
“All the words I couldn't say to you, fill up the spaces in my chest”

Aah I’m so close to getting my license I’m so excited. I love my car she’s such a cutie her name is Margret and she’s a little red girlie. I’ve bought a bunch of stickers and her inside is decked out in spiderman theme. I’m taking my best friend to this concert but she doesn’t know the music at all so I plan on blasting his songs In my car till she knows all the lyrics.

[nezuko.]

i've had my dog for 16 years and i've been told that he might not make it to his 17th birthday in a couple of weeks... i know he's lived a full life but i'm still kind of sad because he's been around since i was super young, up until my transition to adulthood :( it feels like a part of me is being lost too.

[Neeko nordestina]

It's so frustrating when friends act like their partner doesn't count as a second person. Let me explain:
I'm planning a barbecue with a bunch of friends and as usual, we all send the money to one person and that person buys everything and manages the money. The thing is that this one friend brings his gf every single time and she never pays. We're all struggling with money so paying for another person really sucks. It's not like she is struggling with money more than the rest of us or that it was a last minute decision for her to come, she is officially invited but never pays.
This friend says that he is paying for both of them but only sending the money we set for 1 person. We pointed that out, but he says it should be enough for both since they're going together (?). There are other people in the group who bring their significant others, but everyone else pays as normal.
We're thinking about uninviting them because this happened 10 times already and we're done paying her share. I know this sounds rude and petty, but times are really dang hard and money is being an issue for literally everyone in the group.

[LittleMaple]

"You ruined my art!! I made thst for you!!!"

Oh yeah? How does it feel? Does it hurt having your creation destroyed by a "friend?" Welcome to how I felt. You destroyed my life, this is my recovery.

(NOTE SO YALL CHILL the art was some I had laying around from years ago they probably forgot that they even made it lol :333)

[vist]

i feel so disgusted with myself lately, and disgusted with the idea of being loved,. i dunno how it’s so easy for people to set aside insecurities & just be with someone,. not everyone has a flawless image, or a face people could get lost in & watch sleep, but because i don’t, i ridicule the idea of being loved for myself,. i told myself ‘ never again ‘ to a LDR, i wanted someone to be able to see me each day, at my physical lows, and then maybe contemplate whether or not they could still like me,. but with a LDR, i get to choose who they get from me,. what they see of me, angles or snapchat filters, the dryness of my skin in the winter months, the lack of hygiene i display on my worst days, my sick days, how much i move or if i were to snore in my sleep,. the mess i leave in the kitchen each night, or the number of days i can go without vacuuming, my easy irritation that most days i know if they were here i’d have snapped,. just little parts of my life i know i should be better about, but i’m not because i’m either too lazy, too comfortable, sad or just my living situation,.
every minor thing is piling up recently,. i didn’t realize how much self hatred and self consciousness i posses until this most recent relationship, and i can’t blame them, i can’t blame anyone,. i’ve never even sneezed in front of someone before, how could i ever possibly be okay with myself enough to live with someone,? when will this resentment towards myself fade away .. does it ever,? all i wanna do these past few days is cry & say i can’t do this anymore, that it’s over. it’s so unfair to them, and i hate myself way too much i don’t think i could ever make it work,. months back i told myself i wasn’t going to let myself get in the way this time, that it’ll be different, i’ll be different,. i’ll be real, no snap filters, no perfecting angles, to be completely open on every subject down from annoying lil hang nails to rlly personal stuff,. i thought i was doing well, but i don’t really think i am,. they say they love me and that they’ll love me, and i know they’ve no reason to lie, no benefits of staying with me,. why do i deny them,? the possibility that they may actually mean everything,? why can’t i just shut up and trust them, they’re the most nonjudgmental, understanding & loving person i think i could ever meet, but that only makes me feel they deserve someone actually mentally, physically and emotionally worthy of their love,. that’s not me,. it’ll never be me,.
i don’t wanna be me anymore,.

[CyberneticVampire]

I'm so stressed out it's not even funny. My mom is selling our house and now we have to move. She's also planning to sell the house during my birthday month. It feels like everything is being ripped away from me. Not to mention it's made my boyfriend so depressed that he cried in my arms which broke my heart. Hearing him say how he doesn't want to lose me made me feel so sad and worthless. He wants me to move in with him but it's not a guarantee and we're both struggling to find a way to make it happen. I wish I knew what to do and I wish I could stop stressing about it. I feel so overwhelmed just at the thought of having to pack and all that stuff too.

[ghostbite]

im shut down i think. im not sure how to express my words anymore but i think thats the best description i can give.
we broke things off, we're still on good terms. love each other, talk everyday and want to spend time together. its just, odd. its a break up yet, not quite? i feel awful, i know everything is going to be ok. but we're both hurting.
i just want to isolate for the time being until im in a better place. im never genuinely ok unless im with him. which makes this even harder, i need him but we need some time to heal. hes all i have and im terrified i'll lose him. my life is hell and he's the only one keeping me here.

[♥ mizu]

need to complain about my teacher. so i really like her. she's taught me art, the social sciences, french, and art twice now. we've had some great convos. whatever.

but i feel like she's giving me attitude? either that or she is VERY blunt. i know she's neurodivergent so maybe it's that but like. it feels like, even though we chat like friends, it feels like she's always had something against me and idk why. like sometimes i'll say/do something and she'll be like "no, you need to [x]" like ok i get it this is a professional relationship but i'm just saying "[y]".

like for example. the other day in art, i was like "is it ok if i go get a drink? i think this'd be a good place to leave off for a moment since i just finished 1 character in my drawing." and she was like "no, bliss, you're not leaving off. you need to continue. why do you always leave for a drink at exactly 15 minutes before class ends? but fine ok go get some water." and i was like "no like i'm not leaving off i'm just gonna go get a drink". like... i timed it and i was gone for no more than 3 minutes, if that. and then i went back and continued right where i left off.

like you have bigger issues girl. i've gotten more work done that 95% of my peers on this project and most of my classmates sit on their phone for most of the time. my parents pay the water bill here lmao how is this an issue. can i go get my drink now like i dont need a lecture thanks. why r u always moody i've done nothing wrong

like yeah i have some missing assignments so maybe it's that. but i've had a really freaking hard time dealing with the fact that my mother is/was knocking on death's door. it's not fair that i haven't told you about it but i just feel so uncomfortable coming to you about my issues because i'm a bit intimidated by you. that's why i try to chat and make you my friend like my other teachers. i get that this is a professional relationship! i know it is! but you scare me, man!

[gamer]

i wish my family and i were closer. i miss the days when i felt like i could talk to some of them about anything. but nowadays all of them are super judgemental and not accepting or like to make fun of me.

[updog]

called all 3 providers for my medication and theyve all told me to call the next guy over which is so wacky and silly of them. i think i handle stuff like this a lot different than i would have like 4 years ago because instead of being Worried or something about this i feel like. Low Key Manic. which i know is inherently messed up to say but like. you know how people with anger issues have all their anxious thoughts turned into like. angry thoughts or whatever. i feel like im experiencing this but instead of feeling angry or sad or something i feel like. super jittery and high energy and like. mad YEAH but also this forever feeling of like apathy which i know is SOOOOOO edgy but Its How I Feel Okay. i dont know if mania is the right term and again its PROBABLY NOT like i recognize this but just for extra padding here my mom has bpd so like its possible that there could be some possible overlap there. anyway.

whenever i have my dr sessions for new scripts shes always like "oh email me if you need anything !! :)" but then whenever i do it always feels so hostile from their end, insisting i call instead, or, this time, they told me that there was actually already a prescription filled and that i needed to call my pharmacy and not my insurance, only my pharmacy IS my insurance. its all super frustrating cuz my dr usually gets back to me fast but then when i call my insurance or "pharmacy" im always put on hold or i have to talk to a robot for like 8 hours on end just to get to a real person only to be told that, erm actually no theres not a perscription filled by someone, who, by the way, always seems the be the weakest link of the operator line. like, apologizing and stuff more than nessacary and i always feel bad but at the same time omgggggg i just need my medicine.

anyway this jumble of a paragraph is like the perfect example of WHY i need my medicine because otherwise my brain is SO jumbled otherwise and i just feel insane about everything ans its sooooo frustrating. anyway set font to small and unreadable, stat.

"anyway" count: 3