TheComfortCorner | V.10

[pisto pesto pasta]

i just want people to not be racist to me...

[♥ mizu]

just here to complain. the whole vibe of toyhouse is wild. i've seen multilple cases of people being like "i'm done. take any of my ocs" in ads where they're clearly not in the right frame of mind and people just??? hop onto the bandwagon and start saying things like "i'll take this one" "claiming x" like.. you don't even have manners to ask properly, and you're just being a bit scummy? come on. and then their friend commented and was like "guys my friend isn't doing well please stop asking for ocs" and people continued. do you have no shame? this is so mindbogglingly insensitive.

[lavalampwater]

writing here so i can copy this down in my therapy journal later since i don't have it rn and need to reflect on my thoughts before i do anything silly willie

i got my wisdom teeth out today which honestly went way smoother then i thought it would. i barely feel any pain right now but i feel like that'll change in like, two days or so. however even though i went under literal surgery you still didn't really have anything to say to me. i get it. you have a bad job (which ive been telling you to ditch for awhile now, but you just dont seem to want to). stuff has been hard recently. but you were home for about thirty minutes or a little shorter and never mentioned a thing about it when i told you the day before what was going on. you didn't ask if i was even okay, or if everything went well, or asked about anything really. doesn't it make you feel bad that your mom, someone whom i have almost never spoken to before outside of conversations that involved you or you being in them, and is basically a stranger to me, acted way more concerned and caring about it then you? the person who is supposed to be my partner of 2 years now? maybe i am being a little harsh, and maybe your job asking you for more hours has been stressing you out, or whatever. but i'm not going to lie and say it did not hurt my feelings and made me feel uncared for that someone who i literally almost never talked to showed more remorse and care than you. even if everything was and went okay it wouldn't have hurt you to ask. asking shows you care no? i just feel all bummed out and i'm trying not to be. distracting myself has never been an easy task. maybe this is just my bpd going brrr

-

small update/edit from the future: gaahhhghh i cannot open my mouth at all. still no intense pain thankfully but i am so swollen and uncomfortable like a bajillion bees have stung me. went to bed around 1 am because i couldnt sleep and then woke back up at 5 because of uncomfortableness and to take my pain meds. i couldnt go back to bed after so im just gonna stay up until im able to take a little nappy nap. i think i am going to take a break from talking to you since i really cant afford anymore stress rn. maybe youll reach out today but i honestly doubt it

[vist]

it’s not her fault, but walks are getting more exhausting than they are enjoyable,. i already struggle to get out of bed in the morning, & the push i gave myself was giving her that exercise and stimulation, but now it makes me want to stay in bed even more,. it feels like everything is a trigger, every small thing and she stops and either won’t move or go in the opposite direction,. she’s starting to bark and growl as well,. < / 3
i lost her focus, she actually does better when we have someone else walking with us, but when it’s just us two,? nope, ?? i feel like any and all training that was ever put in seeped out slowly to reach this point, i feel like i failed her,. it’s my job to be consistent and patient, but i haven’t been, and it’s my job to work with her, but i haven’t and i keep pushing,.
i’m so upset with myself,

[qtip]

stop it i didnt do anything wrong what did i do

[Soy Sauce]

Im scraping everything to say this.
I didn’t know you could feel heartbreak and not be in love. I feel heartbroken, and I haven’t even given anyone my heart

I joined drama for the fall play, it was amazing. I made so many friends including this one senior. It became my safe space. Now it’s the spring musical, so many new people joined and this one girl hates me. And by default her friends hate me. It’s been so rough this whole time i haven’t actually been able to have fun with my friends. Including the senior and it’s her last production. After this she leaves. She was the first person to be welcoming to me. Aaaah idk what came over me I just started sobbing after curtain call today. I’m just so sad.
I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I feel used and hated.
I would like to feel love again. I only have so much high school left. Wheres my highschool romance?
I can’t have drama and I can’t have romance. What can I have?

“I don’t mind that you lie sometimes, because I lie too. Guess I’m just like you?”

[kaju]

why would she do this to me man.
we both struggle so much with this and sending PICTURES of it to me triggers me. now im so worried about her and tempted to do things we both promised to never do again.

i upset her so much over small things

im genuinely so tired
so exhausted with this
with all of this

im stuck
just trapped

and we’re both sinking into a pit
a deep dark pit
not sure we can dig our way out this time

this relationship saved my life
she saved my life
but at the same time
its destructive
toxic and
unstable

[ducks !]

it's stupid. why do I care so deeply about you? yeah, we've been friends for years. way over 2, I'll say that much. (other words said in this night make my age obvious) that should say something, no?
I love you.. but why do you treat me like this? it might just be how you are, which is fine, but I thought you would've at least been a bit more caring to me?
you call me your best friend. you say I'm one of the only people keeping you sane. yet you barely interact with me well, and when you do it's not even a conversation worth any of our time. can't you be a bit more.. friend like?
sorry. I do act that way often as well. it's not something for me to blame. but it's like this every day. and endless cycle.
please..? it's dumb, I know.
when we were in grade one you were the kindest soul. you never were apart from me, and you showed more affection. I know it's probably something happening at home, but you swear it's not. and it's true. you always have this aura when you're lying. no one else notices it, but I can tell.
when we were in grade two you hadn't changed a bit.
grade three was more sad. but still happy and imaginative. four was worse. it felt like your soul was leaving you. leaving you behind to such a terrible world. five was happy again. six was horrible. and so on. it just got worse.
I feel like a horrible person. lord.
I love you though. I can't spend a day without thinking about you. you're hurt? I'll do too much to help you. you're sad? I'll comfort you. you're happy? it makes my whole day.
I just..god. nevermind.
love you. and sorry. so sorry.

it's probably just how you are. some people are like that. that's fine. I still love you. even after this, you're still my favourite person ever. I'm sorry.



maybe I'm even falling for you. I feel as if I am. it's dumb. it's stupid. it's pathetic. I wish I wasn't. you're interesting. you're weird, but that's what makes you you, and it's.. perfect.

this is stupid.

[❦Acidic-Tea❦]

“Nothing worth sayin aloud”

[lavalampwater]

asked your mom how you were doing because we still have not talked and she said you seemed fine i may or may not be cooked here chat. i may or may not be cooked beyond recognition someone might have to just liquidize me at this point. yk that one gif/video on twitter with the monster ghoul thing swinging back and forth violently and screaming that is literally me rn

i don't even know what? to do now? wdym your fine. do i even reach back out now or is it better to just leave you alone?? what do i do why am i kind of panicking here a little. are you ever gonna talk to me again?? why do i have to be the one to reach out when YOU hurt MY feelings????

i need to go to sleep or something