TheComfortCorner | V.10

[ducks !]

I just want you to text me back,,

[jaybirdsong]

why on earth can't I just act like a normal human being. Of course I've got to go off ranting about some dumb thing and then go full panic mode and say a load of rubbish- I wish I could just THINK once in a while..man if anyone ever invents a time machine I'll pay an arm and a leg for it- this is scary.. and my feelings are just turning to absolute rubbish.. I feel like such a fool.. I really really hope you don't hate me for this.. I was trying so hard to wait and stay and- everything.. but I messed up. I really wish it wasn't this way.. I hate this feeling why are you so awkward jay. Why.

[Madel]

would I be able to dm someone? I need some comfort, but I don't feel like posting it here. <3

[crowfood]

I wish life was more… manageable. Something like a tv series, where everything is destiny and everyone has a purpose. I don’t know what my purpose is… I try to help but everything slips through my fingers like the sand of an endless beach… no matter how much you try to help there will always be more sand… bahaha
I really wish there was an easy way out. Or at least.. something to make up for it. For how useless I am. Why do I try to be proud or disappointed or angry when none of it matters in the end? Everyone will leave me. From my own grandma to the girl I love.

[Sullivan Maurus]

It's almost comedic the lengths I went to to be able to use my laptop again only to have all my reasons for using it vanish and get guilt tripped for using it in general. Like yeah I love sitting in a pitch black room all night with nothing to do and nothing to distract me from the orbs and shadow people. Did you forget I'm schizophrenic and afraid of the dark?

Not like my friends care either, though, honestly. They've basically ignored and avoided me for months. I lay awake at night fighting my crappy wifi just to keep in contact, and the most they have to say to me is good morning and good night. One just replied to the news of me most likely not being allowed to use the laptop anymore with "oof" and immediately changed the subject.
Edit: Yeah neither of my friends care, but watch them be sad/confused when I stop logging onto the computer. Then I get to say "yeah I told you that days ago", and then they'll either go "I forgot" or "I didn't see". Happens every time.

Never should've said anything back in January. Why does the worst person I know get to have my dream gaming setup. Why does she get to stay up all night and be as loud as she wants. Why does she get to get away with everything while I get yelled at and shamed for even the most basic of things. It's not fair. She stole everything from me and is facing no consequences.

[screamingrainfrog]

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[viles]

• cw: mentions of euthanasia, animal hoarding
  im just,,, so tired of living with cats. idk i feel mean saying that. it's not that i dont like cats; i love them. i feel more comfortable around cats than i do people. but i just,,, idk. ive lived with this many cats for a long time. i'm ready to live in a Cat-Free house. from little things to not having fleas biting me constantly to big things like,, not having to worry about where i'm stepping every time i want to leave my room. i just,, idk. my family has this narrative about me,, that i'm mean and i don't like cats. and idk. i know i've felt angry towards the cats more times than once? the situation is Not Normal:tm: and while it's not the cats' fault it's hard for me to channel my anger into productive avenues. like,, kjhdfskjh. idk. i've just felt so powerless for so long. i've been voicing my discomfort with the cats for years now, and it's made no difference. yk, i think that's why it's so frustrating when my parents try to tell me that it's everyone's fault equally for the situation we're in. like, sure when we initially brought in a few cats, everyone made that decision; my parents allowed my siblings and i to have a say. but now,, idk. i just feel like if i were on my own, i would have never gotten into this mess. hell, if my mom and older sibling hadn't been living in the house, we most likely wouldn't have cats at all. ik my parents are upset too and probably want the situation to be over. but,,, my mom isnt willing to get rid of any cats. she says she is, but then i ask her which one and suddenly all she can say is 'i don't know'. and like,, at the end of the day it's my parents' decision whether or not anything is done. like,, if it were up to me, most of the cats would be euthanized by now. that is Harsh i know,, i just. this situation is not healthy for anyone involved. and i would rather the cats be able to have a peaceful death than have them live in a situation where their needs aren't able to be met. i think that's the thing. like,, i'm prepared to get rid of any cat that i'm attached to, even cats i love. but my parents don't share that mindset. my dad says he'd be ready to get rid of any cat, but he literally had someone ask him at his work if they could have a specific cat AND HE SAID NO? i just,, i want better for my life than living here. hell, i even want better for my parents. well....idk. i want them to be able to live a better life than this, but i don't want to help them get there, yk? it's up to them to make the Hard Choices they need to in order to fix their mess. i'm done with trying to get them to see that this situation is not Good for the cats AND us. idk maybe that's wrong,, but i just. i'm so Tired of this. i just want to leave and have this chapter of my life behind me. i'm so ready to be able to think 'wow x years ago i stopped living with cat hoarders!' one day....one day.

[ducks !]

honestly, I just need someone to talk to.

[basil!]

im moving pretty far from my house for college, and though i'm excited, a part of my brain is telling me that i won't be able to do it. what if because of my autism and mental health issues i won't be able to manage and live by myself? what if i'll have to suffer alone all over again but this time i'll somehow be even more alone? it's scary and i don't want to fail

[effie]

i find myself realizing sometimes it just really isnt worth the fight. i care, but im in the same boat as you. i was just trying to help . but now you think i dont care, i was just suggesting a idea to try and help you, i know its agitating but its just the way life works. its easier to just do it rather than get in trouble for groaning and complaining. we all have to deal with unruly people.