by Yaeli » Fri Aug 18, 2023 7:37 am
I am afraid of everything--and nothing.
I am afraid of the breeze, of the smoke signal sent by the train coming through.
I am afraid of you.
I am afraid of the cracks in the wall, the voices that hush when I walk by, the half-formed words that rush into my mind when I wake.
I am afraid of drastic measures, the moon foretelling snow.
I fear the flake on my tongue as it disappears into the ether. Will I as well?
I am afraid of light, and I am afraid of what is in the dark.
I am afraid of what has been, and I am afraid of what is to come.
I am afraid of life's maybes, life's becauses, life's ands, life's buts.
I am afraid of wholeness. I am afraid of my thin, thin soul.
I am afraid of monsters, of werewolves, of sudden bursts, of sleet.
I am afraid of the wild, wild eyes with which the street dwellers stare.
I am afraid the psychologist will dig a pit and leave, and I will fill it with pirate's gold, the only treasure I know.
I am afraid of numbers, statistics, figures pulling down my presumptions like a dog pulls linen off a wire.
I am afraid of technology, the future, the punctuation marks that stamp tomorrow with disdain.
The chips in our heads, the chips in their hands.
I am afraid of me. I am afraid of mice. Mice are afraid of me.
I fear fear. I fear forgetting and being forgotten.
I fear the flood of endorphins that split my brain when I exercise.
I fear.