{Passes out from excitement}
Thanks so much!
The Sixth Power: Chp. 1-2 (excepting criticism and critique)
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Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.
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Re: The Sixth Power: Chp. 1-2 (excepting criticism and criti
by ~Demonic Moon Curse~ » Fri May 03, 2013 8:30 pm
Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
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Re: The Sixth Power: Chp. 1-2 (excepting criticism and criti
by ~Demonic Moon Curse~ » Sat Jun 15, 2013 2:42 pm
Bump
Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
-
~Demonic Moon Curse~ - Posts: 2190
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Re: The Sixth Power: Chp. 1-2 (excepting criticism and criti
by ~Demonic Moon Curse~ » Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:49 pm
Bump
Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
-
~Demonic Moon Curse~ - Posts: 2190
- Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 4:13 pm
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Re: The Sixth Power: Chp. 1-2 (excepting criticism and criti
by roseangel2 » Thu Jun 27, 2013 1:22 pm
Hi ~Fang~
Your opening post, in your summary,
*Eye Twitch*
Otherwise, it has potential. You have no idea how tempted I was to pick the 'My Eyeballs are burnt out' option on your poll just because it's the funniest. No joke. I almost did. But I knew if I did, I'd feel guilty, but it really does have potential to be really great.
(And just think! With all those bumps, you have tons of posting room!)
I do suggest you do something to show a change in who the focus of each chapter is - change the color of the chapter name or put their name at the top or something similar, because when it switched from Faith to Destiny, it took me a minute to catch it and then I felt dumb(Which isn't a good thing to do to your readers because for some people that's all they need to stop reading)
Overall, it has potential, needs a little help to be a little less confusing, and I need to see more before I can decide if it's truly awesome or not. But it's a good start, so don't give up.(A lot of my stories don't become popular until the middle of the story or even its completion because some people like to let a story have quite a bit to read before they'll try it. Sad but true. I hope to see more of this in the future.)
Your opening post, in your summary,
Faith could run faster than the spear of light
*Eye Twitch*
Otherwise, it has potential. You have no idea how tempted I was to pick the 'My Eyeballs are burnt out' option on your poll just because it's the funniest. No joke. I almost did. But I knew if I did, I'd feel guilty, but it really does have potential to be really great.
(And just think! With all those bumps, you have tons of posting room!)
I do suggest you do something to show a change in who the focus of each chapter is - change the color of the chapter name or put their name at the top or something similar, because when it switched from Faith to Destiny, it took me a minute to catch it and then I felt dumb(Which isn't a good thing to do to your readers because for some people that's all they need to stop reading)
Overall, it has potential, needs a little help to be a little less confusing, and I need to see more before I can decide if it's truly awesome or not. But it's a good start, so don't give up.(A lot of my stories don't become popular until the middle of the story or even its completion because some people like to let a story have quite a bit to read before they'll try it. Sad but true. I hope to see more of this in the future.)
*-I Support the Light-*
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roseangel2 - Posts: 2053
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Re: The Sixth Power: Chp. 1-2 (excepting criticism and criti
by ~Demonic Moon Curse~ » Thu Jun 27, 2013 5:34 pm
Okay, I'll go make adjustments to it straight away. Thank's for pointing these things out.
(Lol, Burnt Eyes part. Oh, yeah!)
(Lol, Burnt Eyes part. Oh, yeah!)
Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
-
~Demonic Moon Curse~ - Posts: 2190
- Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 4:13 pm
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
15 posts
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