.:Ink's Notebook:.

[INK.]

so... chapter two is up... still awaiting critique and any comments from anybody....

[INK.]

quick question to ... any one, are you less likely to read a story with long chapters here on CS ? Because i'm having a hard time getting critique on chapter 2 when I've only gotten comments from one person who knows me in real life... or, well is there anyone else who has read this in the first place?......

{by the way @icicle1107 you should give me a critique rather than just comments }

[icicle1107]

okay sure...

Chapter 2:

The feeling of nothing, and that was the standard feeling for daily life for Vincent, nothing more in the way of feelings except for the sensation of irritation.

it's a kind of confusing sentence that doesn't make very much sense all jumbled up like that. It also repeates feelings 3 times. Maybe use a different word instead or rearange it?

....I couldn't find anything else really. This is the main thing. Otherwise it looks great!!! I like all the details you put in about what they were feeling and what was around them. It really added to the story and made you feel like you were there with them. I can't wait for the next chapter!!!

Keep on Rocking!!!
~icicle1107

[INK.]

oh, oops, I'll fix that sentence, thanks you

[icicle1107]

No problemo!!!

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Okay, I think I fixed it- yeah that was a very poor sentence....

[ri bird.]

Your style is very interesting...the way you write produces vivid and colorful images, and I love that. However, your sentences seem to jolt and are awkward to read, perhaps it's just the way you phrase things?

[INK.]

Yeah I guess it's how I phrase things, and I really do have a problem with my jolty awkwardness, I'm just not sure how to help it- I guess it's just how I write...... Thank you though! If you have any ideas on how to help it please tell me :)

[INK.]

bump- I'll start chapter 3 soon

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I was thinking of changing the name to this story...... I don't really like it's current name
tell me what you think...