.:Ink's Notebook:.

My gallery · by **ri bird.** » Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:15 am

I think it's just a grammar problem, in some sentences I notice you're missing certain parts of speech or placing them in the wrong part of a sentence. Your sentences also have a lot of commas (this: , ) and if you break up some of them it will be a faster read without so many mental pauses. It helps to read it out loud. ^^
As for the title, perhaps something more direct would be better- it needs to grab their attention and make them want to know more, or wonder why.

My gallery · by **INK.** » Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:00 pm

this thread has been remolded for a new purpose

My gallery · by **INK.** » Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:22 pm

this thread has been remolded for a new purpose

My gallery · by **INK.** » Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:42 pm

this thread has been remolded for a new purpose

My gallery · by **INK.** » Wed Feb 13, 2013 5:07 pm

this thread has been remolded for a new purpose

My gallery · by **INK.** » Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:26 am

REMODEL DONE> THREAD UP AND RUNNING!!!!

My gallery · by **INK.** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 6:50 pm

Bump, I would love to get feedback on my poetry especially because I think that is what I'm better at,
....
I would mostly love to know if anyone ever looks in this
....

My gallery · by **INK.** » Thu Jul 18, 2013 3:04 pm

new poetry is up!

My gallery · by **INK.** » Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:44 pm

more poetry up

.:Ink's Notebook:.

CHOOSE!

Re: The Grayest Sky ~ needs critique ~

.:ALL of my writing:. -A L L O F I T ! ! !

.:ALL of my writing:. -A L L O F I T ! ! !

.:ALL of my writing:. -A L L O F I T ! ! !

.:ALL of my writing:. -A L L O F I T ! ! !

Re: .:ALL of my writing:. -A L L O F I T ! ! !

Re: .:ALL of my writing:. -Poetry, Short Stories, and more!

Re: .:ALL of my writing:. new poetry up!

Re: .:ALL of my writing:. new poetry up!

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