ѕмιle

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>> ѕмιle <<
Evie Hart is no more special than any other teenager -despite her Care House past- and she has no other plans at eighteen years old besides leaving Sixth Form, finishing her Gap Year with her friends and then going to University. And getting her driving licence back.
Follow Evie on her journey as she tries to keep her biological siblings away from her adopted family, keep herself and her friends from going completely off the rails with their activities, prove that driving into a lamp post was an accident and that she needs her car back and of course battle off the masses of boys who want to go out with her. Well, not masses but we can keep that a secret.

This captured me within in the first few sentences. Believe me when I say this is one of my new favourites!

I love this already, it's beautiful.

Your writing is so fun to read! I really love it so far.

Hey, I absolutely love this story!!! This is really great!

I just love this story!

s m i l e

A story I'm writing -and hoping to finish!- about an orphaned girl called Evie. Please feel free to comment! I'm actually writing it on wattpad; a website specially for stories but I wanted to put it here to see what you guys thought! If you want to find it on wattpad just click the title.

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Mine

Imagine this:

A single spotlight lights up a girl. She has red hair that is up on her head, she is wearing a long white, flowing dress. Her cheekbones are hidden by a mask. Everyone is staring at her. But she has eyes only for one. He stands in a tuxedo, champagne glass in hand on the other side of the ornate room. Half of his face is covered, he too has eyes only for one. They look at each other and the girl smiles. The boy smiles.

Now imagine this:

A girl sits in the middle of a light forest, dappled light covering the ground around her as well as autumn leaves. Her hair is tumbling over her shoulders in a smooth mess. A dress is ripped around her knees and her mask is askew on her face. She is perched on a branch in a tree. Below her a boy stands. He is looking up to her. He is the sight of neatness. She smiles. He smiles.

And finally, imagine this:

A girl is sitting at a table with three other girls who are laughing about something. The girl isn't focusing on them though, she is looking out the window, her eyes reflecting the sky. A boy with a notepad and in a waiter's uniform walks up the the table and the girl jolts around. He looks at her. He smiles. She is already smiling.

That girl as you might have guessed is me. That boy as you might have guessed is the boy I fell in love with. But of course not right away. Many years ago I fell in love with him. Many years later I still love him. Honestly though I know people don't care half as much about that as they do about the story of how it happened. So I'll tell you. Keep in mind though that I was 18 when this happened. I'm 40 odd now. And my love for the boy has never faded.

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I drop my head onto the table and let out an audible groan. Once upon a time I had loved PHSE (I think that is what it is anyway!) but nowadays I actually wanted to get to my next lesson. Not that my next lesson was 100% better. Actually I lie. It was. I’ve got a free period next. Oh yes!

My eyes scanned the class trying to look anywhere except for the interactive whiteboard was displaying a power point with the title ‘Bullying’. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about bullying. I did. It’s just that after seeing basically the same slideshow for nearly 11 years of my life it got a bit boring. And I’m lying about the bit in case you didn’t pick up on that.

A while later I was still looking anywhere but at the front where now a video about a boy who was being bullied was playing. I would be interested in the video part of the show if it wasn’t so obvious it was fake and acted out.

“Oi!” I turned my head slightly and looked at the ever-so polite (sarcasm) Pauly. “You bored?” She asked quietly her fingers tapping against the tables varnished and graphitised on top.

“You made me move my head all the way round to ask me that? When the answer is completely obvious! I am almost falling asleep here!” I hissed back smiling. In reply she poked her tongue out and then shot a dazzling smile at the teacher.

Who of course faltered slightly in clicking onto the next slide. He was new, young and extremely prone to faltering. Especially when a girl even looked at him. I was surprised the board even let him teach here! Such a mumbling boy who was only 4 years older than us (he was 22 according to Pauly) teaching here where girls to advantage of people like him and would tease him recklessly. Though the student council always had a choice in new teachers and the sixth-form part of that was mostly made up of girls. Who teased mumbling and blushing boys like him recklessly?

Yeah I think I know why he was chosen. Such evil are the people who I hang out with! Not that I’m surprised of course. I wouldn’t hang out with them unless they were pure, evil genius!

Now from what you have already read you may have learnt a few things. But I know that not everyone likes learning things bit by bit. So I will tell you about myself. I am a natural red-head, I don’t know how tall I am or how much I weigh. I have ‘crystal’ blue eyes and they’re reasonably sized. Not being boastful or anything, but I can pretty much pull of any look, whatsoever. As long as it is not black, completely. There has to be some colour. Anyway I can be really annoying but most people have got used to it yet I am still called annoying and can admit that I am. I’m weird. End of. You’d have to ask someone else to describe the rest of me but a quick info’ check on my history; my parents divorced when I was five. I’ve been in and out of care homes, foster families and rehabilitation centres all my life (if you want to know about the last one in more detail wait or you will die) until about two years ago because my dad became a drunk and my mother didn’t want me, making me a parented orphan. Then I was adopted. I’m part of the family now but keep my original surname. That’s all I’m telling you! For now anyway.

So back into reality...

“Miss Brown!” I snapped my head back around and smiled (dazzlingly) at the teacher. “Will you please pay attention.”

“Ever so sorry sir! Just lately I’ve been feeling a bit distracted,” I said, fluttering my eyelids slightly, “you wouldn’t understand,” I lowered my voice, “girl problems.” He went bright red. A ripple of snorting and laughter went through the class as the teacher stood there, mouth open, his face like a beetroot looking like some sort of foreign, tropical fish!

The bell rang and everyone stood, ignoring the fact that the slideshow wasn’t finished. An instantaneous world of chattering and sniggering broke out as we all walked (or shoved each other) out of the classroom, leaving Mr Beetroot (not his real name but that’s what I’ll call him from now on!) to stare after us, mouth still open.

“Nice going Evie,” Pauly said grinning at me as she and Abigail came over to me. The rest of our friends were getting things from our lockers and we moved on. “but tone it down next time.”

“A compliment from you is always spoilt!” I groaned teasingly as we walked out of the sixth-form centre and ducked our heads in a hopeful and useless attempt to protect our heads from the rain and wind.

“Get used to it!”

“I am!”

“Why are you complaining then!?”

“I’m not! I’m just informing you about it!”

“Sure!”

“Oh! I’m vibrating!” I stopped and felt my pockets, eventually pulling out my (extremely old, battered and terrible looking conditionally) blackberry to see who had bbmed me. “It’s from Abigail.” I said to Pauly looking up from the screen to her. “but she was with us a few moments ago!” I complained, looking around.

“What did she say?” Pauly asked, impatient as ever.

“She said ‘ive got english, cul8er!’ I hate text language!” I said with a groan as I quickly tapped in a reply.

‘Ok- see you in McDoggys?’

“McDoggys?”

“It doesn’t count as text language because it’s how you say it when you actually talk to someone!” I defended. I ignored Pauly’s raised eyebrows and continued to walk through the spattering rain.

“Want to go to Avalanche?” Pauly had recently found a kind of indie shop hidden away above a thriving starbucks and it was her new obsession. And I had to admit it was pretty amazing. It had racks just bursting with indie style clothes and incense was always burning. The shop was owned by a Muslim couple and seeing as Pauly spoke Arabic; was able to communicate with them much more easily and got bargains a lot.

“No.” We’d been there yesterday and the day before, and the day before and so on. I was tired of it, almost. “What about just staying in school?” I suggested with a shrug, shivering slightly as the car park ends and the playground starts. The art block is to our right and then around that the refectory but I wasn’t hungry so I turned to look at Pauly again.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Won’t do it.”

“Will do it.”

“Won’t.”

“Will.”

“Won’t.” Time to catch her out!

“Won’t.”

“Will.” I smirked and spun out around chuckling. “I hate you!” She said annoyed as I grabbed her arm and tugged her over to the art block pushing open the glass doors and relishing in the heat once they had closed.

“I love you more!” I said in a sing-song voice.

“I love you most.” Her answer was laced with unwillingness but also a best friend love that only that sort of friendship provided.

“So Pauline-”

“Just because you got one over on me doesn’t mean you get to call me by my proper name!” Pauly cut in.

“But it’s in the contract!” I said with a exaggerated gasp as I put my hand to my mouth in an imitation of some black and white movie’s leading ladies shock face.

“No it’s not!” She imitated me as she flopped onto a discarded classroom chair in the middle of the hallway.

“Is too. I’ll prove it to you when we get home.”

“Saddo.”

“I try my best.” I fluttered my eyelashes, and turned my head as I raised my right shoulder, holding up my hands so the palms faced towards her, creating my ‘showing off’ pose.

“C’mon.” Pauline grumbled, grabbing my hand and yanking me almost off my feet as she started to stomp down the corridor leading towards the refectory and the stairs.

“Where we going?” I asked, ignoring the pain in my arm where I had heard something click when she grabbed me.

“To deprive your older brother of some of his ego!” I heard amusement in her words and felt it as we finally reached the ICT suite where he always was on a Friday first period. He was on his own (for once) and the rest of the lab was empty so us entering was audible easily.

“Oh, it’s you.” He said on turning round in the office-like chairs that sat in front of every computer.

“Hello to you too!” I answered, dropping onto his lap, giving him some sarcasm as a side-order. He shoved me off as I suspected he would but before I hit the floor I put my hand out and Pauly pulled my up again.

“So pleasant to see you Harry!” Pauly said, her sarcasm coming as the main-meal.

“What do you two want?” Harry asked, running a hand through his (orderly) dishevelled and (perfectly styled) just-got-out-of-bed black hair.

“Some of your ego.”

“What ego?” Pauly and I laughed as she perched on the desk in front of him.

“You know, for such a ‘ladies-man’,” she drew speech-marks in the air around the word before carrying on, “you are very impolite!”

“Just with you though.” Harry smirked before turning back to the computer.

“Being related to such a...” Pauline spared a disgusted glance at the back of Harry’s head before turning to me again, “brat must be a drag!”

“It is,” I smirked now “especially when the girl’s storm out of the house saying it was a waste of time...and money.” We were off and we could hear his pounding footsteps behind us. This was a regular occurrence but a teacher popping up wasn’t. So not hearing his footsteps behind us anymore caused us to turn back.Half-way down the stairs (for him) an ICT teacher had come out from one of the other labs and was now yelling at Harry for disturbing his lesson and causing disrupt in the environment of learning.

Containing our laughter was hard and we let it out once we had fallen into the nearest girl’s toilets. I leant against the sink and Pauly rested her head on the cool tiled wall as we laughed. That had been a good one. Mainly not because of what we had said but because he was currently getting yelled at by a teacher, Happy Days.

“Right.” I said, once I had finally managed to stop my laughter.”Let-let’s go to the library.” It was the first place I thought of, and as I said it I realised I still needed to finish some work.

“Sure.” Somehow Pauly had managed to control herself much more easily than me and was already waiting by the door by the time I had splashed my face with some cold water, just in case I felt the need to start laughing again in a minute. It always worked for me.

Later, at break, Harry hadn’t appeared anywhere and I suspected he was hiding in his form room, plotting revenge with his so-called-friends. However, the incident of the morning had been clean-swept out of my mind when I said my goodbyes to Pauly, Abigail, Rachelle and Erica and was back at home after a (unusually) uneventful bus ride.

If you were wondering, it was not Harry’s revenge that clean-swept it from my mind. It was the fact that an envelope addressed to me was on the sideboard in the living room. I was never the first to read my letters. Usually one of my siblings or parents opened it and I was generally the last one to read my own letter. Sometimes it was accidental, and sometimes it wasn’t.

So coming home to a full house and finding an unopened envelope to me was...mind sweeping (anyone see what I did there?) and exciting. That was until I actually opened the letter. Because when I had done that I found out it was from school. However I ran up to my room with it and locked the door behind me before reading it properly because I wanted to keep it to myself. Although after reading, I would realise two others in the house hold had already received identical letters, almost.

Dear Miss Hart,

We cordially invite you to spend an evening with us at Layton College’s Masquerade Ball. From eight pm to two am we welcome you into our home to commemorate your last year with us.

The Ball will take place on the last Saturday of the school year inside the Grand Hall. The theme is one of great pleasure for us to host. We invite you to dress ‘fancy’. Interpret that as you will, but please make no mistake that if your outfit is not fitting or becoming we shall be forced to turn you away.

With gratitude,

Layton College’s sixth-form council

PS we’re going as the Disney Princesses!!!!!!! xx P

That was the almost in ‘identical letters, almost’. You see, being on the sixth-form council Pauly got to add things to specific people’s letters whenever they sent any out. But pushing that thought back I pulled out the other sheet of information. The proper code of dress (i.e. no skirts shorter than blah-blah, no blah, no blah and so on) timing and date and location. And basically everything the school board’s outlined rules of the evening/night.

Once I had read through that I threw myself down on my bed and thought about what Pauly had written. There were 18 of us in the whole kinda-friend-group-thingy and there were 18 Disney Princesses, or if you liked leading ladies in the movies. Not all of them were proper princesses. Here’s the list;

Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame,

Briar Rose/Aurora from Sleeping Beauty,

Megara from Hercules,

Jasmine from Aladdin,

Ariel from The Little Mermaid,

Snow White from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,

Pocahontas from Pocahontas,

Tinkerbell from Peter Pan,

Cinderella from Cinderella,

Giselle from Enchanted,

Lilo from Lilo and Stitch,

Alice from Alice in Wonderland,

Mulan from Mulan,

Belle from Beauty and the Beast,

Wendy from Peter Pan,

Elizabeth Swan from The Pirates of the Caribbean,

Jane from Tarzan and

Tiana from The Princess and the Frog.

Now, if you’re wondering how I came up with that exact list, I didn’t. My mental list didn’t include Jane, Elizabeth Swan, Alice, Lilo, Giselle, Wendy or Tinkerbell, Megara, Pocahontas, or Mulan. I actually found the exact list on the back of the first letter, written in Pauly’s weirdly neat scrawl. So after consulting that list I tried to think who would be who.

Pauly would definitely be Pocahontas, and I knew Abi would be Wendy and Alice be Alice, but the others I wasn’t so sure about. I would ask Pauly. There and then. I pulled my blackberry from my pocket and went onto my emails. Quickly I tapped one to Pauline.

Who is Who?

Within a minute I had a reply and I could guess she had had it typed up since the council came up with the idea of a fancy dress masquerade ball. Rolling my eyes I started to scan the list.

Cinderella
Evie
Alice
Alice
Snow White
Rachelle
Pocahontas
Pauline
Esmeralda
Erica
Elizabeth Swan
Jodie
Belle
Darcy
Tiana
Izzy
Lilo
April
Tinkerbell
Emily
Briar Rose/Aurora
Erin
Wendy
Abi
Giselle
Maddie
Jane
Jess
Ariel
Lizzie
Megara
Charlotte
Jasmine
Charlotte
Mulan
Grace

I saw my name and instantly tapped out a reply.

Me Cinderella?

I would have thought she would have put me as Esmeralda, Ariel or Megara. In no way had I thought she would have chosen me to be Cinderella. For starters Cinderella was blonde. I was a red head. A vibration in my hand bought my attention back to Pauly.

Yup! Knew you would be surprised!!!

For some reason I also felt a bit nervous about being Cinderella. Ok, the ball was ages away but I was. I don’t know why.

Can’t I be Ariel? Please?!

Within seconds;

No. -.-

It was worth a try.

Stuff you! X

I replied and then locked my phone, throwing it down onto my bed. Just then a loud banging resounded on the stairs and landing outside my room. And then my door was thrown open and Ashley ran into my room. Her hair was in a high, sleek ponytail and she was wearing the uniform that anyone who wasn't in sixth-form at Layton College (not to be confused with Leyton College) wore.

“Are you going?” She asked breathlessly, leaning against my door frame.

“Where?”

“To the ball!”

“How do you know about that?” I looked at her, confused as she gave a slight roll of her eyes.

“I’m on the school council dummy!”

“Course you are.” I said with a snort and she narrowed her eyes at me. “Joking!” I said, holding up my hands and sitting up. “Yeah, I am.”

“Oh, brilliant!” She said with a sigh and she smiled at me for the first time since coming upstairs and talking to me. “What you going as?”

“Don’t know yet.” I lied.

“Ok. Well Liam’s here so I’ve got to go, bye!” Ashley turned and was gone in a flash again. Liam was her best friend. Liam was also a girl. Her parents had wanted a boy and so to compensate for getting a girl had named her Liam. It was even on the birth certificate. Poor girl. I shook my head at the thought and then looked back down at the note.

It was going to be fun and I knew it. So I lay back down with a smile.

“Oi! Evangeline! Homework!” My adoptive Father. I groaned and turned over, hiding my face in the pillow.

[- serendipity]

The A Team

I was ready to kill Harry, Ashley, Mary and Sam, literally, ready to. Kill.

It’s Saturday (and if you’ve been living under a rock for the past century, it is the 21st century, Queen Elizabeth 1st is on the throne, Nick Clegg is prime minister and we’re back in the credit crunch according to BBC. So yeah, I’d go back to living under your rock again until that’s over) and I was relaxing in the bath reading, when a hammering on my door made the book slip out of my hands, and so before I could stop it half of it had fallen in the water.

Now though –I was still in the bathroom, a towel securely placed under my armpits to stop it from slipping, the hair dryer in hand and Mary sitting on the toilet seat.

“We didn’t mean too!” She said staring at the book. I looked at her.

“So you’re saying that Harry didn’t mean to kick Ashley, and that Ashley didn’t mean to hit him in the stomach so that he fell backwards into Sam, and that Sam didn’t mean to elbow Harry in the ribs, resulting in Harry falling into your door, and that you didn’t mean to come out, yell at them and then smack the all over the head, and that then none of you didn’t meant to knock on the bathroom door to get me to come out and sort it out?” I asked dryly, failing to keep my voice at the same level throughout.

“Well, when you put it like that...” Mary glanced at me and I held her blue gaze hating her even more then because she had Harry’s eyes. (You couldn’t blame her for that though. They were twins; un-identical but nonetheless, they had the same eyes)

“You did mean too?” I offered, being the helpful girl I am, as I turned off the hair dryer. Mary shrugged and I rolled my eyes, unplugging the dryer and picking it up as well as the book before walking out of the bathroom.

With no answer reaching my ears, I sighed and side-stepped Sam and Ashley, ignoring the fact that Sam had Ashley in a headlock, and that Ashley was non-stop kneeing Sam in the privates. Ahh, the beauty of sibling love!

In my room again I quickly dried myself and changed into some black skinny jeans, a short-sleeved white top, throwing a red and black checked top with long-sleeves over the top before running my brush through my hair and picking up my boots as I ran out of my room and down the stairs.

I was meeting up with Pauly, Emily and Abigail and my bath-time had over run slightly, so I had 10 minutes to get to somewhere which was 15 minutes away.

“Where are you going?” Phil, my adopted-dad, yelled from the kitchen as I picked up my black bag that was hanging in the second porch.

“Meeting up with some friends, bye!” And I was out. I squeezed through the gap between my adopted-parent’s cars and Harry’s before I started running. That was what occupied my thoughts as I ran (well, walked quickly after a couple of minutes), the fact that I didn’t have a car.

I could drive, and I could drive well but I didn’t have the right amount of money for a car, yet. In my new family you had to earn the car by getting a job and you did not get it as a present or a reward. Unless you count it as a reward for working your bum off for three years. Then again that was a self-given-reward so I guess it doesn’t count. I was also allowed to drive my parents’ cars, but had been banned from driving them since I reversed into a lamp post.

In my defence, it was dark at night, the lamp post was not functioning, i.e. the lamp was not on, and it could have been anyone who did it! But it was me.

‘White lips, pale face
Breathing in the snowflakes
Burnt lungs, sour taste
Light’s gone, day’s end
Struggling to pay rent
Long nights, strange men
And they say
She’s in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately-‘ I stopped and dived into my handbag, searching through all the rubbish and what-not in there in an attempt to find my phone.
‘in life come free to us
Cos were just under the upper hand
And go mad for a couple grams
And she don’t wanna go outside tonight,
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland
Or sells love to another man
It’s too cold outside-‘

“Gotcha!” I pulled my phone from the front pocket on my jeans and looked at the ID. Queen of Awesome, Pauly!! She had stolen my phone again and changed her name.

“Hiya!” I answered as I started to walk again.

“Where are you?” Pauly’s voice yelled into my ear and I held the phone away from my ear a bit in case she tried to blow my ear drum.

“Just round the corner, promise.”

“Well hurry up then!” And she was gone. Pleasant.

But I being honest when I said I was just around the corner. Walk five metres, turn right and BAM! The small cafe was right there on my right. I pushed through the door, running a hand through my hair and glancing around. A couple was arguing at one table, the man shaking his head, an expression of disbelief on his face and the woman was waving her hands about, hissing to him words I couldn’t make out properly.

I shook my head to and then heard my name being called.

“Oi! Evie, over here!” Emily waves at me from a table in the corner by a window and I smile, walking over.

“Why are you late?” Were Pauline’s immediate words as I slid into a seat and set my bag under the table. I laughed.

“The siblings got into a fight.”

“Pfft!” Pauly brushed some hair from her eyes and then poked me in the shoulder.

“You should be more sensible!”

“I wasn’t involved!” I protested and Pauly smirked. “Teaser.” I muttered, rolling my eyes and then looking down at the papers scattered across the glossed table-top.

They were sketches of dresses. They looked familiar and that was because they were similar to the main dresses the Disney girls’ wore in the movies. I picked up the closest one that was part-way through being coloured in and smiled. It was Wendy and I could see that the artist (Emily) had put in the people’s faces as well. Abi had brown her and in the sketch, some of it was pulled back and held in place with a bow and the rest fell over her shoulders. The dress was basically the night gown Wendy wore but it had been given a full-length skirt and it puffed out slightly around the waist like an olden-timed ball gown.

“These are great!” I said, scanning the others. “Where’s mine?”

“Not drawn up yet. Neither is Lilo, Giselle or Mulan.” Emily answered as she collected the papers into a pile and placed them in her bag.

“Ok.” I nodded and gave a shrug and then Abigail started talking about how her little brother was in hospital and- I zoned out. I looked out the window and stared at the sky, attempting to spot the clouds that had formed shapes.

Dinosaur.

Elephant.

Heart.

A bomb.

Music note.

A star ship.

I don’t know how long I was staring out the window but movement caused me to jolt around. I looked up and nodded at the boy standing there, ready to serve us. My eyes flicked up and down him before I actually realised he was looking at me and smiling. I had obviously already been smiling whilst daydreaming because I hardly needed to move my lips to make them grin. Though it was a short grin because then Pauly was poking me again.

“What do you want?”

“huh?”

“To e-a-t.” She spoke slowly as if she was talking to a two-year-old and I kicked her beneath the table and she winced.

“I’ll have a hot chocolate with marshmallows, whipped cream and chocolate shavings please.” I said after checking the menu out.

“O-kay, so that is, one coke, two fantas, a ham sandwich -minus the cheese- a side of chips and an omelette as well as a hot chocolate with marshmallows, whipped cream and chocolate shavings?” As he spoke the last ten words he was looking at me a mischievous glint in his eye.

I nodded and then turned away again, sliding right back into the conversation, pretending I hadn’t been day dreaming before.

When our drinks came I savoured mine but managed to finish it within the first two minutes of getting it. I also managed to get a marshmallow on my shoe, whipped cream on my ear and forehead and chocolate shavings in my hair, as well as a chocolate moustache. Pauly cleaned me up, sighing like she was my Mother or something before flicking me on my forehead to tell me I was an idiot.

“So, we’ll all of us –all of the eighteen- will meet at 12 noon, two weeks before the ball to get fitted yeah?”

“You’re planning a date for something that long away?” Emily asked, staring at Abigail incredulous.

“Yeah. Me and Pauly deci-“

“Pauly and I” I interrupted smiling at her as I corrected her grammatical error.

“Yeah. Pauly and I decided that it would be good to book ahead so we have.”

“Fine.” Emily sighed and then hugged us all before running out of the cafe. I stared after her.

“She’s in a rush.” I commented, watching through the window as she ran across the road and disappeared around the corner.

“Yeah, she has to go to a wedding or something.” Pauly shrugged and I rolled my eyes at Abigail who snickered, glancing at Pauly.

“Why aren’t you going then?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Pauly asked, looking at Abi closely.

“Well, you know everyone.”

“True.” Pauly smiled. “Wasn’t invited, didn’t have enough room at the venue.”

“Cool. So anyway,” I interrupted, sensing an argument brewing. “When do you guys have to go?”

“Never.” Pauly shrugged casually as if the tension hadn’t even lit the air for a split second. I envied her then. Not only could she manage to not give a damn about anything, shrug something off within the blink of an eye, she was also (understatement) pretty and an awesome singer.

“Too soon!” Abi groaned, dropping her head onto the table and some of her hair into her orange coloured drink.

“Here’s your food.” A ham sandwich was placed in front of Pauly and an omelette in front of Abi, and a side of fries in the centre of the table. “Do you want anything else?” The boy asked, picking up my finished hot chocolate and Emily’s abandoned and empty fanta glass.

“No thank you.” I said, shooting him a half-hearted ‘thank you’ smile. He nodded and then turned and walked away and before I could turn back to the others I felt someone’s eyes burning into the back of my head. “What?” I asked, spinning round and looking at the other two.

Pauly was feigning a straight face and Abigail was grinning teasingly.

“Nothing.” I glared at the both of them, narrowing my eyes before closing them and blowing out my cheeks. “Puffer fish.” Pauly commented matter-of-factly.

“Shut up and eat.” I snapped, flicking them both in the head before pushing my chair back and standing. “I’m going to the bathroom;” Answering their silent question “you better eat quickly.” I turned and walked away smiling as I heard their (attempted) stifled laughter.

Inside the toilets I looked around at the pictures of beaches and palm trees. “Way to make us jealous.” I muttered as I entered a cubicle.

Outside the cubicle again I stared into the mirror, attempting to have a staring contest with my reflection (I won by the way) until the door opened and made me turn around.

“You ok?” It was Pauly.

“I don’t know.” I said honestly as she came up to me and perched on the edge of the sink counter ledge thingy. So yeah, this was coming out from nowhere but I didn’t feel...myself.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes and poked my forehead. Then she grinned.

“I know what it is!” I looked at her and raised my eyebrows. “You’ve run out of high.”

“That would be possible, if I took drugs. But I don’t. So it’s not.” I poked her back.

“No, not that kind of high. Our kind of high...” I couldn’t help myself as my lips turned up at the edges and my eyes brightened.

“Oh, now I see where you’re coming from.” I grinned and then faltered slightly, “Where are you going though?” Pauly grinned, jumped down from the ledge thingy ma bobby and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the bathroom and back to the table where Abigail was finishing her omelette. She looked up at Pauly’s wide eyes and excited smile and then at my excited smile but apprehensive eyes and banged her head twice on the table.

“Darn it, darn it, darn it! I should never leave you two alone in a room, ever!” Her voice was exasperated but that just caused Pauly to jump up and down (until the arguing couple glared at her for about two minutes flat). “What is it now?”

“We need to give our close friend here,” She pointed at me “a high!” Abi stared at both of us and then grinned as well.

“I’m in!” She leapt up just as the boy came back to the table. “Can we have the bill please?”

“No forget the bill, how much do we need to pay?” Pauly stared at the boy who blinked and then looked at what we had ordered.

“£12.50 please.” We stared at him. And then Pauly started muttering under her breath about prices these days as she fumbled for my purse in my bag.

“I’ll pay you back!” She said on seeing my look. I couldn’t help but giggle at the situation. Abi was picking up all the bags and slinging them onto her shoulder and stacking up the plates and gathering it all in the centre of the table to make it easier for the boy, Pauly was counting out pound coins and the waiter was staring at us as if we were mad. Which we were. “There you go!” Pauly handed him the coins, grabbed my hand and then we were running out of the cafe, Abigail right behind us.

“Thank you! The food was great! And the service!” I yelled over my shoulder, just before the door closed and we were on the street.

When we were on the street, we carried on running, dodging people and shouting ‘sorry’ over our shoulder ever other step.

“This is crazy!” I hear Pauly mutter as we came slowly down to a jog.

“I agree.” I muttered, regretting it a moment later when she gripped my hand tighter and swerved into the inside shopping centre, almost dislocating my shoulder (definite exaggeration there) and causing me to trip.

I wasn’t even given a chance to hit the floor though because Pauly was running again. Although she did slow down, thankfully, at the other end of the centre.

“I knew we could make it in time!” She laughed as we came outside, behind a bus stop and a bus was pulling in. Abigail turned up then and, bent over, clutching her knees as she panted.

“How did you know we would get here in time?” I asked, panting as well slightly as she moved us forwards to join the line moving onto the bus.

“Remember Year 6 when we really wanted to go to the new Indoor Ice Skating Rink over there? Well we had to get the bus remember, and I memorised the bus time table for this place and I’ve never forgotten it!” She smiled, obviously pleased with herself and neither me of Abigail felt inclined to reply to that.

On the bus, Pauly paid for three tickets but shooed us to find seats so we didn’t hear where too. Which sucked. But I managed to grab a window seat and by the time the bus started moving Pauly was jumping up and down with excitement which meant that where we were going was 1 of 6 places.

My home, Abi’s home, her home, the woods, the park or the Sanctuary. Any of which were accessible easily by the bus we were on (and the route it was taking) and all of them would cause Pauly to jump up and down with excitement and cause the attention of two toddlers in the seats over from us, three teenage boys at the back to stare and grin at us, several women and men and two elderly couples, to turn to us. Basically the entire bus.

[- serendipity]

I wish I was a Punk Rock Girl with Flowers in My Hair

“Pauly I do hope you know that you’re mad?”

“Oh I do!”

“Both of you are insane!”

“It’ll be fun though.”

“Evie is actually right in this one Abi!”

“You sure?”

“Pinky promise.”

“Definitely.”

So it seemed like a good idea and it was but was it a sensible idea? Definitely not. But in the light of my current situation it seemed better...no, I lie. It was as sensible as going to the Sahara desert with no water.

You are probably wondering what the heck is going on. Well I’ll explain it you really quickly. Turns out we were going to Abi’s house. There she and Pauly locked me out of her room and I was left to sit on the landing whilst they did something in her room which involved packing (as I learnt later) and lots of whispering. Then when they came out, Abi had a rucksack on her back. One of the big ones that you might take on the Duke of Edinburgh awards or something like that. I was as confused as you (maybe) are. We left straightaway, Abi having a two minute chat with her mum before we walked outside. Abi mounted her bike, Pauly perched on the handlebars and the rucksack was thrown to me. I had something to say about that. A lot of things. Especially as all I said took up the time between Abi’s house and my house. Where Pauly and Abi again locked me out on the landing, of my own room. I was getting annoyed as well now. However in front of the house, after they had spoken to Phil and Mandy (my adopted parents) I thought I would be able to ride my bike now. But no! Pauly took mine and I had to carry two bags! It was only when we had done the same at her house did I finally only have to carry one bag again and on a bike as well, which made it easier. I think.

We rode for ages heading further into the country side and talking less and less, (despite the fact Abigail and Pauly wouldn’t stop looking at each other and giggling) until we eventually reached the Scrappie. The Scrappie one of my favourite places in the whole entire world.

I actually met Pauly here when I wanted to get away from things when I first came here. She took me home and I wouldn’t leave her house for four days to go back to my new family. But it held more memories in that. In the two years we had known each other we had managed to make a lifetime of memories, and in the last couple of months, Abi’s joined the photo albums. (Literally as well as metaphorically.)

We have a tree house here, hundreds of dens (several of which may consist of a pile of branches now) the lake is here, the spring, river, pond and of course there’s the valley. Now in most woods or forests there usually isn’t that much but in here there is! Some of it probably because it expands out of the woods/forests for a bit.

So we came to the Scrappie and went straight to the tree house. It was impossible to find unless you knew where it was and only the three of us did. We dumped the bags and then we walked slowly to the lake, the only noise the footsteps and natural sounds of the countryside. When we came to the lake Pauly offered a suggestion and we all agreed to it.

Which resulted in us standing on the old pier, jutting out into the lake, holding hands and having that conversation.

Now we were finishing it.

“Fine then. On the count of three?”

“One.” We shut our eyes.

“Two.” Bent our knees.

“Three.” And jumped.

I heard someone screaming and someone cheering but I was just laughing. We flew into the air, our hands not letting go of each other and it was like we paused for a minute before plunging down.

The impact of the water didn’t hurt anymore, it had become familiar over the past two years, although there was a slight sting but I knew that was from not having done it in a while. The water was icy and I shivered as I kept my eyes shut, feeling my hair drift away from my shoulders and my clothes start to weigh me down. Pauly was still holding my hand though and we sunk to the bottom of the lake, kicking off when our soles touched it. I felt the dirt and sand hit my feet when we did so and it swirl around our legs as we lifted.

As soon as we hit air I burst out laughing again and started treading water, slowly opening my eyes again, careful, ready to snap them shut again in case there had been any dirt infiltrating beneath the surface. None had. I smiled; pushing my hair off my face as I slowly stopped laughing. Then I realised I was as cold as the North Pole and that I was shivering.

“You call that fun?” Pauly and I shared a look and then started edging closer to Abi laughing, pretending as if the situation was normal. Until we reached out of the water and pushed her under. When she came up spluttering she couldn’t help but agree. “You win! It’s fun.” We all high-fived and then Pauly looked at me, narrowing her eyes.

“You’re shivering. Come on, out.”

“You sound like Mandy!” I protested, starting to skull through the water, away from her.

“She sounds like my mum when we go to Frinton Beach!” Abi chuckled, joining me as Pauly reached out to grab me foot. I flipped over though and started slicing through the water, my practised and honed front crawl allowing me to get a good distance between us.

When I got nearer to the edge of the lake, I put my feet down, but slipped under, myself not tall enough to touch the bottom at that distance from shore. It was now my turn to come up spluttering and as I did I realised the sky was turning darker. And it was getting even colder.

Ducking my shoulders under the water gave me a little bit more warmth and I (now) willingly slowly walked towards the shore, bending my knees when I could stand so my shoulders never came above the water, that was, until I was kneeling and had to stand or I wouldn’t have been able to leave the water.

“Quicker!” Pauly urged, making me jump and almost lose my balance as she popped up next to me, shivering too. Abi was ahead of us, running back into the woods. We started running too, shivering but grinning at the same time as the wind whipped our hair and made us even colder.

“I hate the cold!” Pauly yelled, stretching her words so by the time we were halfway to the tree house, she had only just shut her mouth.

Abi was standing on the balcony kind of thing around the actually house, her hair wrapped in a towel and her body too.

“Get in the house!” Pauly groaned as she started climbing the rope ladder up towards Abi.

“Use the ladder fool!” I said, grabbing the first rung and starting to climb up swiftly. I beat Pauly and Abigail handed me a towel I recognised from mine that was usually folded neatly at the foot of my bed (compliment of Mandy), I wrapped it round myself quickly and followed her into the house, ducking beneath the low door frame and then straightening up inside again. Pauly was behind us in a minute and Abi had already started drying herself and getting her clothes out of her bag.

Imitating her we turned our backs on each other and changed. I pulled stuff out of my bag looking for pjs. Eventually I found my old, worn pair that I loved. Slipping into the white trousers (with graphics of Mickey Mouse on them) I pulled my jumper on over the top, finishing it off with long, warm socks and my hat.

“Where did you guys find all of these clothes?” I asked, looking at the rest of my bags contents. I wasn’t even aware I owned some of the things they had packed.

“On top of your cupboard. Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask you that; why were they on top of your cupboard?”

“Safe to turn?” I answered first. After being assured it was I turned and stared at Pauly incredulous. “My cupboard?!” I said, slowly sitting on the floor and crossing my legs as Pauly threw mine and her bag onto Abigail’s.

“Yeah. I was looking for your sweet stash but you must have moved it because I found them instead,” she shrugged as she pulled her hair into a bun, at the top of her head. I narrowed my eyes, crossed my arms and leant back against the wall.

“How did you know where my secret sweet stash was?”

“Because you thought I was in the bathroom when you put the sweets you got for Halloween up there but I was under your bed.”

“Why were you under my bed?”

“So I could scare you.” Abi laughed and then nodded at Pauly. Pauly shook her head but pulled something out from behind her all the same.

“My sweet stash!” I exclaimed.

“Pauly found it taped to the back of your CD player.” I sighed and held out my hand for the bag of sweets. Pauly handed it to me and I opened it, tipping out the contents.

Several lollipops, several tubes of millions, smarties and gummy bears, large packets of Haribo containing smaller packs within, gummy snakes, fizzy coke bottles, packs of Chewits and starburst and one huge bag containing bars of chocolate.

“Wow!” Abi said starting to crawl forward.

“Back off.” I exclaimed, hitting her hand away as it reached for a tube of smarties. “Did you guys bring any drink?” I asked as I opened the bag of Haribo’s and threw a small packet to Abi and Pauly.

“Yup, right here.” Abi pulled out three bottles of coke, sprite, water, blackcurrant and lemonade.

“You do realise I don’t drink weak blackcurrant?” I commented, picking up the nearest bottle of the dark liquid.

“Yeah. Pauly made it ‘specially strong! Here’s yours.” She threw me the farthest bottle and I caught it, wincing as I dropped the other bottle onto my ankle. Pauly laughed and took it from me, opening it and taking a sip, hardly swallowing before popping a Haribo heart into her mouth.

I opened the bottle and took a sip smiling.

“Ahh! Nice and strong!” I screwed the cap back on and then tore open the packet of Haribo. Just as I did, a loud crash resounded outside and I jumped, knocking the sweets of my lap.

“What was that?” Abi whispered.

“An axe murderer?” Pauly answered, her voice lower than Abi’s. I hit her.

“Don’t scare me!” I hissed, looking out of the window at the sky that had turned navy blue without us realising it. Obviously one of the others had lit the hanging solar powered lamp that was hung on the wall. “Probably just an animal.”

“Too loud.” Abi said, crawling over to me too hold my hand.

“A clown with a chainsaw?” Pauly offered, joining us. I hit her harder.

“It’s a human but not a clown.”

“You’re right.”

“I’m still with the clown idea.”

“Pauly, shut up!” My hand came into contact with her arm and she laughed.

“I’m going to take a look.” She said, standing and walking over to the shut door, pushing it open and leaving only her shadow to tell us where she was. Suddenly more light then the one we had on in the tree house appeared and Abi gasped. I pushed myself up and looked out the window.

“Wow.” I muttered and then turned and ran to where Pauly was sitting on the edge of the balcony kind of thing, her ankles crossed, just staring at it.

“It’s nice isn’t it?” Abi asked, sitting on Pauly’s other side as I dropped my head onto Pauly’s shoulder.

“Not the word to describe it.” I said. “Not...the right word.”

“Shush.” Pauly whispered, resting her head on top of mine. We stared at the whole thing, taking it in and smiling.

So what we were looking at wasn’t a natural phenomenon (as such) or anything special really, in fact I think probably everyone has seen it before, but it was still beautiful and humans like anything that is beautiful. (Speaking as if I were human which several people have doubted.)

It was full moon and the sky was clear except for a cloud almost circling the moon. As well as that the moon was huge and seemed to be so close! It shone and lit up the ground around us, dappling the forest floor and making some of the boughs on a (randomly placed) pine (Christmas) tree seem silver. Stars twinkled and sparkled (I know they don’t technically do that but use your imagination!) and just seemed as if a child had just picked them up and placed them because a child has the most terrific mind and would be the only able human being to have such a wonderful mind as to place them were they were placed. The whole thing was spectacular. Really spectacular.

“Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you’ll end up among the stars.” I smiled and closed my eyes, the scene imprinted on the back of my eyelids.

“He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind.” I opened them again and looked across at my two best friends, moving my head from under Pauly’s and thinking of my own quote.

“Hitch your wagon to a star.” I finally said.

“We’re mad.”

“We’re young.” I retorted standing up and looking down at them.

“You can’t use that excuse forever you know. Soon enough you’ll be 40 and then what will you say when I say we’re mad?” Pauly asked, following me suit and leaning against the rail.

“I’ll agree because we all are mad.”

“And why is that?” Abigail asked, standing up and folding her arms.

“Because...we’re told how horrible the world is and yet we still go out into it willingly.”

Silence as they both stared at me. And then we all burst out laughing. I clutched my side, leaning onto the railing as I choked with laughter.

“No I think that is why we’re mad!” Abi said between short bursts of laughing.

“Fair enough.” I said straightening up and staring back up at the moon. “Though I do have a point.”

“Modest.” Pauly commented dryly coming to stand next to me again.

“I still don’t get it.”

“What now Abi?!” Pauline cried in mock annoyance.

“Well what was that crash?” I looked at her again and then at Pauly who looked as if she was containing herself. My eyes narrowed and I raised my eyebrows.

“You know what it was, don’t you?” She shook her head but I knew her well enough to know that right now she was lying completely. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes you are!” Abi contributed and I nodded furiously.

“What was it?” I said glaring at her as I crossed my arms. She sighed and pointed across to a medium-height tree.

“Them.”

“What’s ‘them’?” I asked, drawing inverted commas around ‘them’ in the air.

“Erica, Darcy, Erin, Jess and Charlotte.” I frowned.

“Why are they here?”

“Because I told them you felt down.”

“Well what are they doing?” I persisted.

“Waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“This.” She whistled and suddenly a rustling came from the tree and five silhouettes appeared, jumping down from the tree.

“What are they waiting to do?”

“You’ll see,” Pauly said smugly “climb down.” I felt Abigail nudge me and I looked at her to find her eyebrows raised but her eyes looking curious.

With a shrug I pushed myself off the railing and walked over to the step ladder. As I started climbing down I kept my eyes trained on Pauly’s trying to see if I could tell what was going on. But I couldn’t so when I jumped down from the last couple of rungs, stumbled back and landed in four waiting arms I was slightly shocked. You see because then those four pairs of arms turned into 5 pairs, then 6 and then finally 7 and I was hoisted onto 7 shoulders, my protests being ignored.

“What’s going on?!” I groaned, frustrated that I was being ignored and that I was being carried on the shoulders of my friends through a dark wood.

“You’ll see.” I blew out my cheeks and closed my eyes, deciding to just wait until I told what was going on before asking any more questions.

So I did wait. I waited until we had left the forest, past the lake and entered the village again. When we got there I couldn’t keep quiet for any longer.

“Why are we here?!”

“Ssshh!” Someone whispered and my eyes scanned the dark windows of the house around us.

“Sorry!” I whisper shouted. “But why are we here?”

“We’re going to the forge.” Someone whisper shouted back.

“What!?” My eyes widened and I started moving again. That was until the people holding my legs dropped me and my heels just missed the tarmac below. Then I was gently put upright and I looked around, jumping up and down because the road was cold and my socks weren’t enough to keep that coldness out. “Why are we going there!?” I whined, stamping my foot and causing Erica to tell me to shut up.

“Because Billy told us to.” Abi grabbed my hand and started pulling me, the others forming a line in front of us as we walked through the silent village.

So I was in my pyjamas, bare foot (socks don’t count went it comes to walking on roads), no proper warmy-uppy-thing, with 7 other un-protected 18 (17 in Darcy’s case) year-old girls, heading towards Pauly’s older brother who had just finished university and was currently in the old forge that was privately owned and I was hungry.

By the time we reached the forge I was being given a piggy back by Darcy and attempting to plait her hair without actually being able to see it properly. It wasn’t working.

“We’re here!” Erin and Jess chorused as we stopped outside the black building. For once though a light was coming from inside and when Charlotte pushed on the door it opened (with a creak) and we all walked through, Darcy dropping me down inside and getting rid of the knots I had created in her onyx hair.

“Hey Billy.” The others sat down around the lamp as I approached the figure sitting beyond it. I couldn’t see his face but I would be able to recognise him anywhere from just his build. He walked towards me and when I could finally see his face I smiled and then we hugged. I wasn’t sure who hugged first but that didn’t matter. The hug was warm and tight and I felt his lips kiss my head before he released me.

Now let me just quickly but in before you guys start formulating ideas about Billy and I. No we were never together, no we never planned to but yes I had had a crush on him; had done since I met him two years ago when Pauly took me home to her house after finding me (unintentionally) at The Scrappie. He was the older brother I never had. Oh and I don’t have a crush on him anymore!

He gestured for me to sit down and I did and he went back to where he had been sitting before, three people down from me.

“You guys still haven’t told me what we’re doing here!” I said, looking around at the group and ignoring the secretive looks I was getting.

Suddenly the lamp went out and several of us screamed (I was not one of the screamers) and then a torch flashed on and lit up Billy’s face in that sort-of-but-not-really spooky way.

“Ghost stories!” I grinned and punched Pauly in the arm for keeping it from me and also for actually bringing me to the dark forge to tell Ghost Stories when she knew full well I hated them. “Once on a dark night, a girl was alone in her house...”

We spent the rest of the night telling ghost stories and squealing at them and the noises from outside. But when morning light came we snuck out and went back to The Scrappie. Well Abi, Pauly, Billy and I did. The others crept back home after a quick raid of Erin’s fridge (her house was closest).

The walk back to the tree house was silent and I fell asleep half way there but that was partly because I was warm and comfy having a piggy back from Billy. Abi was having a piggy back from Pauly and had her eyes closed so it wasn’t only me.

When I was woken we had reached the tree house again and I quickly scampered up the ladder, pulling my sleeping bag from my bag and snuggling down in it before the others could say a word. Only my eyes poked out from the top (and the rest of my head of course) by the time I had sorted myself out.

We lay in a line to sleep, Abi on the far right, then Pauly, then me and then Billy on the far left; next to me.

I don’t remember anything else because people rarely do remember the minutes before the actually fall asleep but I do remember Pauly reaching over and popping a coke bottle into her mouth when she thought everyone was asleep.

[- serendipity]

Change

When I woke in the morning I was only seeing out of one eye. After ridding my left eye’s eyelashes of sleep I sat up and looked around, bringing my knees (and the sleeping bag) up to my chest so I could rest my arms on them.

On my left Billy was still asleep and on my left both Abi and Pauly were too. With a sigh I pushed my sleeping bag off me and stood up, wincing at the rustles because I didn’t exactly want to wake them up; all my friends are not morning people. I walked over to the window and looked out. It was bright and I was sure it was midday. Or past it.

Turning around and blinking slightly (I don’t like sun after just waking up) I looked back down at the other three all sleeping peacefully. With a sigh I walked over to my bag in the corner and dropped my hat into it, shaking my head so the itchy feeling I had went before I started scratching like crazy because then it would never stop. Then I walked over to the sleeping Billy who looked so peaceful and kicked him gently in the ribs. Nothing! Of course Billy had always been a deep sleeper but even after another two kicks in the ribs he had just grunted and rolled over.

With a roll of my eyes I scanned the tree house looking for a way to wake him up. In the past when he came home to visit from University we had woken up with various things. Putting his headphones on him and then playing any song full blast, playing rap music full blast from his iPod dock, Pauly singing as loud as she can, suddenly yanking off his duvet, opening the curtains and turning on the lights and then pulling his eyelids open, lifting the duvet up and putting ice on his chest, stabbing his hand with a needle, jumping on him, screaming, flipping over his mattress and resulting in him falling onto the floor, pushing him gently onto a small mattress and carrying and dragging and pushing and heaving and pulling him to top of the stairs and the pushing the mattress down and countless other stuff.

Then my eyes landed on the bottles of drinks Abi and Pauly had brought and they lit up. Quickly I walked over to them and picked up the bottle of sprite. Uncapping it I bit my lip as it started to fizz but it only bubbled and I smiled and walked over to Billy again, crouching down and slowly pouring the sprite into his hair.

Not only was it wet but having spent the night just sitting in the almost-winter air it was freezing. However it was only when I poured it on his forehead did he wake.

“What the-“ Quickly I shoved my hand over his mouth so as not to stir the others and smirked at him as he glared at me before pushing away my hand. “You need to seriously spend some time away from my baby sister! She’s influencing you too much.” He muttered, sitting up as I sat back, leaning against the wall.

“I influence myself thank you very much.” I said shooting him a glare as it flicked some water droplets at him.

“I know! I’m just saying...” He trailed off glancing over at Pauly who was sleeping on her belly, a bit of drool spooling onto the small pillow. I laughed quietly and then poked Billy, motioning for him to follow me as I walked outside.

After a couple of minutes he did but I didn’t look at him as he joined my against the railing.

“Why are you back Billy?”

“Why shouldn’t I be back?”

“Because last time you told us –and by us I mean the whole ruddy village over megaphone- that you were never returning to this, what did you say again?” I kept my eyes trained on the horizon ignoring the fact I could feel his gaze burning into the side of my face. “Oh yeah, ‘This wretched, stupid, dung-heap ever.’ Although I think some choice swear words were used as well.” I finished dryly.

“I have my reasons.”

“Does Pauly now?”

“Pauly’s has forgiven me.” Now I looked at him. “Yup,” he nodded, turning his lips up at the corners. It wasn’t really a smile, but it was something like the expression you would shoot strangers whose eye you had caught. “She has. I think you will too when you hear what I have to say.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Go on then.”

“I found Him.”

I looked away. He couldn’t be serious. Everyone had tried looking for Him. Well everyone who cared about me had. Everyone had failed. Or they had failed. “He’s ok. He’s hurt though. He’s also looking for you. He’s also in walking distance. I’ll take you to Him.”

“When?”

“Whenever. He said he’ll wait.”

“Good. Because he’ll have to.” I turned away from Billy again, away from his searching eyes. It was true that was certain, Billy wouldn’t lie about a thing like that but both boys had hurt me, hurt everyone who loved them.

Except Billy had managed to get Pauly’s apology, which was a hard thing to get. Unless she was only forgiving him because she had missed him. I sighed and turned back around to Billy who was now looking to the forest floor below us.

“Did you finish the course?”

“I dropped out.”

“What! Why?”

“I realized that wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life.”

“What you, Billy, didn’t want to become an archaeologist?”

“Yes. I mean no, I didn’t.”

“But that’s what you always wanted to do!” I protested, staring at him incredulous.

“Not anymore. I’m going to travel, backpack around the world, sail around the world, see the world.”

“With what money?”

“I’m going to be a journalist. I was taking a night-course along with the main course to become a journalist and I passed. It was only a short course of course but I’ve got a job, I’ve been hired and that’s what they want me to do.”

“You’ve changed.”

“So have you.” I shrugged gently and then nodded.



“Everyone changes eventually. Some people more than others.” He raised his eyebrows quickly, up then down and I recognised the motion. Billy always did it when he found something interesting. The Quirky Little Raise is what Pauly called it or QLR for short. I called it Billy. “Pick me up at 5.”

Then I turn back and walk into the tree house, walking over to Pauly and shaking her awake. I nudge Abi onto her back and she jerks awake too.

“C’mon sleepy heads, Mandy will be wondering where I am.”

“Nah, we said you’ll be back by two-thirty.” Abi said, rolling over onto her side again and shutting her eyes as Pauly sat up and smiled at me, her eyes flashing to Billy who was rolling up his sleeping bag silently.

“It’s two-forty five.” I retorted. I wasn’t sure of that but when Pauly looked at her watch it turned out I walked actually five minutes quick.

Abi groaned but sat up and I grinned at her as she crawled out from her sleeping bag and then slumped against the wall

“Come on Abigail.” Pauly pulled her up and then pulled on her boots and coat, hiding her hands in gloves before pulling her bag onto her back and shoving everything away into mine and Abi’s too. I rolled my eyes at her, although I did put on my shoes too and Abi did the same.

Back outside we dropped our bags to the floor and then climbed down. Our bikes were covered in dew but Abi just plonked herself down and bent over the handles, her eyes half-closed.

“You look drunk.” Billy said, lifting her up and taking her place on the saddle.

“Hey!” She whined, pouting. Well this was a side I had never seen of Abi before! Pauly was staring at our friend, mouth open, eyes darting from her brother to Abi.

“Sit on the handles.” Abi did and I wiped some of the dew off the saddle before climbing on and checking the bag wasn’t going to annoy me as we rode.

“Sit on the handles.” Pauly whispered to me as she pushed her bike to stand next to me, imitating her brother in a whiny, soppy voice. I laughed at her and tilted my head in the other two’s direction. They were already cycling off, weaving between the trees, and bumping over the sticks and stones, covering the forest floor.

“Let’s catch up and you can whine and moan when you get back to my house.” She pulled a face but within a moment she was shouting,

“Race you!” and pedalling off, her feet a whir.

“No fair!” I shouted back and pushed off, catching up with her once we were out of the trees and passing the lake.

The ride back was pretty uneventful and when we got back to Pauly’s house, Billy left us and we were relieved of one bag.

Abi didn’t stop at my house as her Mum was already expecting her bag, and had been expecting her for half an hour. Our parents don’t really mind if we’re late back but they like us letting them know and we hadn’t been able to because we hadn’t taken out phones.

So that was why Mandy had Phil wait for me in the hall until I came home and called her. Mandy had had to leave to work and she had this horrible paranoia that one day we wouldn’t come back.

As soon as I had reassured Mandy over the phone I was fine Pauly and I walked up to my room and she fell onto my bed, immediately going off on a rant about why your best friend liking your brother could be wrong as I unpacked the bag.

“I mean! For starters it can be kinda eewy if they grew up and got married and whatever, secondly it is such a simple way to ruin friendships!” Nodding as if I was listening (which I was but not always taking it in) we slowly worked our way through the last of my sweetie stash (the first bits had been devoured at the Ghost Story session) until Ashley ran into my room and demanded Pauly tell her everything about the upcoming Ball that the younger year council members weren’t aware of.

After excusing myself (which I did very politely by stealing the last coke bottle from Pauly’s hand and then walking out the door) I ran down the stairs to the kitchen, ready to stop myself from dying from dehydration.

“I know you’re there.” I said, turning away from the fridge and looking at Harry.

“I got detention for two lunches,” he said, sitting on the counter “thanks to you.”

“We were joking about the money.” I said, rolling my eyes as I turned back to the fridge, stopping half way and instead leaning on the open fridge door, arms crossed on the top, my head resting were my hands crossed. “And the girls for that matter.” I added after a second’s silence. I smiled as he blew out his cheeks in annoyance. But it was true. He didn’t have any girls round. Except for Janey but she was actually his girlfriend so Pauly and I had only been teasing.

“I know. So does Janey.”

“So why exactly are you bringing it up again?” I asked, confused.

“I don’t know. I just did.”

“Rubbish answer.”

“So what? That was a rubbish comeback.”

“It was a rubbish comeback because I don’t spend my entire life thinking up comebacks like some people do.” Now that was a good comeback.

“Whatever. Just don’t come near me at school, I don’t want people to know we’re related.”

“We’re not.” I replied bluntly, completely squashing all humour from the room with one sly stamp. But it was true, we weren’t. Legally maybe we were but I wasn’t related to him by blood and my surname was different to his.

That was when I realised he kinda looked hurt.

“Yeah, yes, ‘course.” He jumped down, giving me a tight lipped smile before walking out of the room. I dropped to the floor and repeatedly banged my head against the fridge door only stopping when I realised I could see some orange juice. I drank it from the carton, breaking about a million of Ashley’s hygiene rules all in one go before walking back upstairs again.

“Right, I should get going.” Pauly was interrupting Ashley’s stream of sentences smoothly however Ashley still narrowed her eyes and flounced instead of walked out of the room.

“Probs.” She stood up and hugged me and I hugged her back before waving her out of the door and listening to her walk down the steps, open the front door and then close it behind her.

As soon as the door clicked I leapt up again and started getting ready. I had an hour before he got here but still.

I jumped in the shower, causing the whole household to be rid of all hot water for 15 minutes and then dressed in skinny jeans, a sailor shirt, tying my hair in a loose ponytail -after brushing as many of the knots out as I could- before sitting on the floor in front of the full length mirror that had never been put up (we hadn’t got round to it in two years) and putting on some eyeliner (poking myself in the eye in the process) and mascara, which managed to get all the way down my arm as well as on my eyelashes.

Then I pulled on the first socks I found –one red covered in sheep, the other blue and covered in superman logos- and then picked up my phone, boots, and coat then, ran down the stairs, barrelling past Sam who was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, eyes glued to the closed kitchen door through which I could hear Mandy and Phil arguing.

When I was in the sitting room I jumped onto the sofa, crossed my legs and switched on the TV, skipping past the news and spotting Top Gear. Watching it I tried not to look at the clock (and failed) until Billy turned up, exactly five minutes before 5. I saw him pull up in his new Ford Fiesta (bright red) in the driveway and before he had even reached the door I had opened it, not wanting anyone else to ask him why he was here and then find out what we were doing.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” I stared at him for a minute before he almost turned his head to his car, silently asking if we should go. I nodded and climbed into the passenger seat after shooing him away from opening the door for me.

The inside of the car was –relatively- clean and I could smell faintly (underneath the strong smell of air freshener) cigarettes. It was obviously a second-hand car.

“Where is He?”

“When are you actually going to call Him by His name?” Billy asked, looking over his shoulder as he reversed and took a left down the street.

“When I feel like it. Now, where is He?”

“He is with Her.”

“You found Her too?!” I turned to him, my eyebrows raised and my mouth slightly open in shock.

“They were together.”

“So where are they?”

“A care home.” He hadn’t looked at me since we got in the car a couple of minutes ago but now I noticed his eyes flicked to me, clouded with concern. I decided to ignore the clouds.



“Where though?”

“Here.” I turned back and looked out the front window, my eyes scanning the road in front of us. I was about to say he was wrong when he signalled and pulled left into a long driveway. A sign was stuck in the grass on the front garden reading ‘Oakwood House’ in old carved letters whilst below newer painted words had been added onto the sign ‘Care Home for Children’.

My eyes travelled to the house which had a big blue door and two levels although it was wide and had about 7 windows on both floors. Lights were on in most of the windows and one had just flicked on in the window closest to the large door.

Billy parked next to a silver car and stopped the engine, looking over at me as he undid his seatbelt and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

“Ready?” I took a breath, looked at him at him then back at the door again before nodding and climbing out of the car.

He joined me outside the door and pushed a button on the side that had a big arrow pointing to it, drawn on some cardboard and stuck somehow onto the wall.

We heard a bell echo inside and then within a couple of seconds a buzzer sounded and Billy pushed open the door.

All I got to see of the inside was a hallway covered in paintings and drawings obviously done by the care home children before a blur of purple, black, brown and blonde jumped on me and started giggling. I stumbled back as the impact hit me but was pushed forwards gently so I wouldn’t fall.

“KENNY!” The small thing (I had gathered it was a small boy by know) yelled and my back went rigid as I bent forwards to put him down. As he slithered off me and crossed his legs on the floor he looked up at me, lips grinning and then he too froze. Before letting out a piercing scream.

“Woah! Shush, it’s ok!” I bent down, trying to comfort him and reassure him but he just screamed louder.

“I’m coming! I’m coming! Tom, I’m coming!” A lady came running round the corner of the hall, dressed in some old jeans and a reasonably tight red shirt. She glanced at us, shooting devil glares before bending down and hoisting Tom onto her hip. “It’s ok, it’s ok.” She assured him, stroking his hair before looking at us. “Who the heck are you?”

“Hello, I’m Billy and this is Evie.” Billy stepped forwards –thankfully- and held out a hand (which the women ignored) and then smiled at the boy who had stopped screaming and was now glaring at me.

“I’m Freya, Head Care worker here and you are not allowed to be on these premises!”

“Er...Freya,” Freya turned and Billy and me looked round her to the end of the hall where a small gathering of children had appeared, peeking round the corner.

“Not right now Jack, be with you in a second, now why don’t you all pop into the Living Room ‘ey?” Freya turned back around to us and none of the children moved as we focused our gazes on her again.

“Yeah, but-“

“Miss...Kyle, right?” Freya nodded and Billy nodded too, gaining confidence again. “If you could just let us talk to you privately for five minutes we can explain it, please!”

Frey’s eyes studied him and then nodded, gently setting Tom on the floor and whispering something in his ear.

“Follow me.” She said over her shoulder as she shooed the other children away and we walked into a room a couple of paces from the front door. “Sit.” We sat opposite her, a desk separating us physically but so much more separated us in other ways that she didn’t even know. “Five minutes.” A warning.

“A boy and a girl live here,” Billy began and I could just tell that Miss Kyle was almost dying with holding in a sarcastic comment. “that Evie knows.” Now he looked at me and I looked back at him for a moment before realising he wanted me to carry on. So I turned dutifully to Freya, crossed my legs, clasped my hands together and dropped them in my lap and began.

“Know is a bit of an understatement actually. They’re my blood actually. I grew up with them until three years ago when we were separated after I was moved to a different,” I paused here not wanting to say Rehab centre in case it put Freya off; “home before I was adopted a couple of months later. I’ve been trying to find them since but, well I’ve failed and then Billy turned up –he’s my best friend’s brother- and says he’s found Them.” Not the whole truth but enough for this stranger to know.

She stared at me and I stared back, my lips turning in on each other as my nerves kicked in. “They’re my brother and sister. My older brother and my younger sister.” I wanted to say more, something that would wipe the disbelieving look off her face but I couldn’t think of anything. Of all times for my mouth to shut down!

“She’s not lying.”

“I know.”

“Honest, she’s not ly-what? You believe her?!” I shot Billy an aggravated look and then turned back to Freya.

“I have no reason not to. Well, I do, but after 6 years of looking after children in Care then I kinda learn the files.”

“So you know what happened?”

“No. Sort of; I know who you are and that you were adopted and that you have relatives there but nothing else really, except for unnecessary details.”

I sighed in relief and smiled.

“Are They here?” Their names came back to me, the one I had heard just a couple of minutes ago, and the one that was about to leave Billy’s lips.

“Kenneth and Marilyn Hart.” My family. Or the family I still felt love for. “Are They here?”

“No.” My eyes shot away from the Rubix cube on the desk and to the Care workers face. I was so going to kill Billy. “Well, they are, just Marilyn is at the cinema.” Billy would live.

“So is Kenny here?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Upstairs or in the garden.”

“Can we see him?”

“Yes. Under supervision.” Billy was talking and Freya was replying but I wasn’t paying attention anymore (I really had to work on being interested in what other’s had to say and not being distracted so easily!) because Kenny wasn’t under supervision. How did I know this?

Because I could see the right side of his body, on the left side of the window as he climbed down what I guessed to be a drain pipe. I hid a smile as I saw him jump down. He was obviously sneaking out. But then I realised what I was seeing. My brother who I hadn’t seen in three years (almost) sneaking away from me. Well not me exactly, he didn’t know I was here yet. He had jumped onto the ground and was brushing himself down. Now he was looking up, checking if Freya was in her office. Now he was looking at Billy, his brow creasing as his gaze flicked to me, back to Billy and then faster than the Fastest Rollercoaster in the world that had opened in Abu Dhabi recently his hazel eyes came back to me.

I bit my lower lip as I saw his lips form several swear words. Then he was grinning. I pushed my chair back and ran. Billy called after me, as I pulled the office door open and stepped round 6 kids who had just tumbled into the office (eavesdroppers) and carried on running. Back out the door, round to the right, round the side of the house, leap over the plants, turn again and there he was.

Straight away actually- I ran into him.

But there he was. Kenneth Hart. Kenny. His arms wrapped around me and I jumped a bit, wrapping my legs around his waist as he spun me around like he had since he could lift me. He set me down but we still hugged, me not wanting to let go in case like last time I wouldn’t be able to hold onto him for pretty much 820 days.

He had grown a bit; that I could tell because I know had to go on tiptoes to be comfortably hugging him. His hair was probably longer or shorter than before but other than that he hadn’t changed. I could fell his rough, warm, large hands through my shirt (I had forgotten to put on my jacket before getting out of the car) as they held me close to him, his sort of muscular arms as they held me just as tightly as I held him. His almost hurting chin as it rested on top of my head, his- oh he was just Kenny for crying out loud! He hadn’t changed at all really.

Finally his grip softened and we stepped back, still our hands resting on each other’s arms though.

“Hiya.” I whispered, as I smiled softly at him.

“Hello...Evie.” It sounded like he was trying out a word for the first time; as if he was a little boy and had finally figured out how to stand up and was now tentatively attempting to walk. Obviously his name had not vibrated his voice box for a long time.

“Hello.” I repeated my greeting again and then looked at the ground when I saw him grin, his eyes flashing with that teasing glint I knew so well and had missed.

“Evie!” I turned swiftly and saw Billy, stopped in mid-jog, staring over my head at Kenny’s face. “I’ll come back in a minute.” A tight-lipped smile and he turned and disappeared back around the corner.

“Oops.” I murmured and then turned back to Kenny not wanting to spoil it.

“So, you’re not angry at me then?” He asked, nervousness obvious in his voice. Then I remembered. I was. Very angry. And hurt.

“I am. I just haven’t seen you in three years.” I objected, stepping back and linking my arms behind my back.

“Evie, I didn’t mean it.”

“Doesn’t matter, for now, we will come back to it though.” I warned him, my eyebrows raised slightly.

“’Course.” He smiled and then pulled my into a hug again, kissing the top of my head.

“Kenny?! Where are you?” Was the voice that broke us apart again. I recognised that voice. I think. “Kenny!” Yes, I did.

Kenny smiled at me and I smiled back as he replied.

“Marilyn- round the back!”

“Again, seriously bro’ you have got to get over that badger hole!” The mocking, loving, obliging, accepting tone that Marilyn always spoke to us in when we took up some silly hobby. Kenny’s obsession with this ‘badger hole’ I would tease him about later. Right now, my sister was coming round the side of the house. “There you are....” Her voice trailed off as she looked at me. Eyes filled with hatred and confusion and disgust, then recognition and love.

“Evie! I thought you were some scum Kenny had bought back without permission again!” The first words I hear from my younger sister in pretty much 3 years and she manages to insult both Kenny and I, and the people who are meant to make sure Care Kids don’t break the rules. Charming.



“Hi sis’, nice to see you too!” I said as she ran forwards and hugged me.

“I thought it might be; I am getting very pretty now!” Her muffled voice answered and I laughed and flicked her on the head before pulling back.

“It’s great to see you.” I smiled and looked at her, taking in my now 18 year old sister. Her hair wasn’t as bright red as it was before, more coppery now and she was definitely taller. Her clothes sense had changed considerably too. She wore tights with short shorts, blue pumps; a white vest-top and a chiffony and a bit frilly blouse that I had seen in new look just the other day over the vest. Her hair was pushed back with a bobby pin on one side and she too now had a side-fringe.

“You’re still ginger then.” I looked over my shoulder at Kenny who was looking at me but seemingly addressing the question at Marilyn.

“Yeah, decided I liked it like this.”

“You were going to dye your hair?” I asked, shocked. Marilyn shrugged.

“Maybe, but we’re still the GinjaNinjas because I haven’t died my hair and you’re back.”

What had seemed like a family reunion had now turned into one of the best days of my life. Marilyn had the ability to turn any conversation casual and light-hearted and humorous. It now wasn’t just about me finding them but about us being back together again.

She was right, the GinjaNinjas were back in business!

[- serendipity]

Wish You Would Stay

Since we had taught Marilyn to talk we had given each other nicknames.

Kenneth Hart was Kenny.

Evangeline Hart was Evie.

Marilyn Hart was Ria.

Together we made the GinjaNinjas. We only really had each other since our Mum used to work the night shifts at a hospital and our Dad always seemed to be somewhere far away. But we go on well enough with our parents even if it was a strange family relationship.

So we would stick up for each other more than the other brothers and sisters in the school playground, we would take each other’s sides in fights with our parents, we would share, we would always play together and every night we would stay up talking and messing around. We had a much closer relationship than was normal I think. But then I wouldn’t now because I never had my school friend’s upbringing. Thiers’ was different to mine.

Especially when I turned 5 and a couple of months later our Dad disappeared. I wasn’t expecting it even after they had been fighting much more than usual. I didn’t see him again but our Mum did when he came to sign the divorce papers.

Without his income she couldn’t afford to look after a 7, 5 and 4 year old. So she put us in a foster home and cut all ties with us in short.

We stuck together and were never separated for longer than 6 weeks, 7 maximum. Except for when I decided to move foster home because of what Kenny did. Then I was adopted. At 16 and I didn’t move out when I turned 18 even though I could, because I was happy with the Browns.

Now we were back together again, for now anyway. We were inside, sitting in a small meeting room, Billy sitting opposite Kenny, Ria and me.

“Repeat that sorry?” I said, as I came back into the real world and noticed that I hadn’t heard Billy’s explanation on how he found Kenny and Ria. Oops.

Both boys sighed and I smiled apologetically.

“I was going through facebook and I decided to search Kenny. And I found Marilyn.”

“Ria.” She spoke shortly and I could see Kenny’s hand snaking and squeezing her knee; as a warning or an ‘atta’ girl!’ kind of thing I couldn’t tell.

“I found Ria. Someone had posted on her wall saying something about meeting up somewhere. It had the times and everything. So I went there. And I waited. When she and her mates arrived I followed them around for a bit and then followed her back here. I went back home, googled the place and figured out that both Kenny and Ria lived here. So I then told you.”

I nodded slowly taking it in, looking at Ria out of the corner of my eye and smiling internally at the aggravated look in her eyes that probably came from not noticing she was being followed.

“Thank you for bringing Evie to us Billy.” Kenny nodded tersely and I winced on the inside at how awkward it was. Darn you boys! I thought, imagining myself putting them both on the naughty step until the apologised to each other. Mind you I still needed an apology from them both!

A knock on the door made us all turn to the small wooden –and dented- door that was slowly creeping open. Freya’s head appeared around it, her hair much more dishevelled than earlier.

“I have to go now. Ian knows you’re here but I suggest it would be best if you two were to leave.” The distant echo of someone shouting Freya made her sigh, look over her shoulder and then back at us. “I’m sorry, I have to go! Ria can show you out!” The last sentence was shouted over her shoulder as her head was pulled back and the door shut with a slight bang.

I stood as the other three did and pushed my chair back. Everyone was staring at Kenny. I sighed; this was enough.

“Ok, stop it guys! Seriously!” Now they were looking at me. “You all need to stop playing the blame game!” I turned slightly and pointed at Kenny. “Kenny, it wasn’t Billy,” I turned again to Billy, “Billy it wasn’t Kenny,” now to Ria, “Ria it wasn’t Kenny or Billy who started this whole thing! So, please, say sorry or I will kick your sorry bottoms.”

Ria sniggered at the last line but I shot her a glare and she looked at the floor. Kenny’s face was twisted into a question mark and Billy was sheepishly scuffing his shoe against the floor.

“Wait...so if it wasn’t Kenny or Billy, who was it?” Someone had the sense to ask it.

“It was me.”

‘White lips, pale face
Breathing in the snowflakes
Burnt lungs, sour taste
Light’s gone, day’s end
Struggling to pay rent
Long nights, strange men
And they say
She’s in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18-‘ I groaned and found my phone, quickly switching it to silent and ignoring the call.

“What do you mean it was you?” Ria asked, leaning back against the wall. I rolled my eyes.

“It was me who told Gemma!”

“What?!” Kenny.

“Seriously?” Billy.

“Huh?” Ria.

“Yes! It was me. So, now, can you please stop hating each other?”

“Who the heck is Gemma?” Ria had pushed herself up, off the wall and was looking, with confusion, between the three of us. “Kenny, you told me that you hated Billy for something else.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, quizzical.

“I may have lied to you Ria.”

“Fine, we’ll forget that because I’m going to rise above it, but you hate Billy because of a girl. Idiots, the pair of you!” I smirked at Ria and then frowned at Kenny. But Kenny was shaking hands with Billy and nodding.

“Right. That’s the end of it then!” Billy said with a smile. I stared aghast at the pair of them.

“I give up!” I felt like doing exactly that as Ria exclaimed it and then stomped out of the room.

“So you’ve made up?” Both boys nodded and I flopped down onto the chair I had stood up from a minute ago.

I’ll just check out of reality for a moment to keep you up to date because I myself am feeling a bit confused!

What happened really was that there was a girl that both Kenny and Billy liked. Gemma. She’s American and had just left university and was working behind the counter at McDoggy’s when the boys started getting a crush on her. I of course knew about both crushes thanks to Pauly and myself being their younger sisters. And of course we had to tell Gemma. It wouldn’t be right to keep her in the dark would it? So we told her on New Year’s Eve (2010/2011) that they liked her at a party and she told them both that they weren’t her type. Now Kenny thought Billy had told Gemma that he liked her so that Billy would be able to get to Gemma. But Billy thought Kenny had done the same. So, being boys they had a small (actually it wasn’t small at all) fight, ending in nosebleeds, black eyes and bruises and both boys being tipsy enough for one to tell the village he was never coming back and the other to shove his sister (i.e. me!) into a bush and leave too.

Now you’re also probably wondering how this is possible since I haven’t seen Kenny since I was adopted. Well I have. Just that once. We ran into each other at a function thing Pauly made me go to and he came back with us. He’s only ever met Billy and Pauly though. And that was the last time we saw each other. Capiche?

Both boys looked sheepish and they should be. For several reasons. I decided to be nice though and not yell at them.

I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket again and I sighed in frustration before standing up.

“Now, Freya’s let us see each other this time because the authorities aren’t going to find out about it-“

“But next time we’ll have to sort out some legal implications before seeing each other. I know, I know.” I interrupted Kenny and crossed my arms.

“Yeah but it means you’ll have to get Mandy and Phil’s permission doesn’t it?”

Kenny and I laughed at Billy. Being a care kid meant you knew all about this sort of thing.

“No. I’m over 16 and so are Ria and Kenny.”

“So no permission needed?”

“Nope.” I smiled and then frowned again. (See how bad these two boys were for me? They’re making me frown and have crinkles in my brow which leads to wrinkles!) “But that doesn’t make sense,”

“See.” Billy threw in, thinking I was referring to the permission and ageing but I wasn’t. So I waved my hand at him, telling him to be quiet.

“No, what I mean is that how come you and Marilyn are still living here? You’re both over 16 you guys should be in your own place.”

“Oh yeah, I work for free here as a care worker/councillor –no salary- in return for free accommodation for Ria and me. I also work behind the counter at an off-licence called ‘Route 66’ and Ria works weekends at ‘hmv’ for money. We get on alright.” I chuckled, shaking my head in relief or amazement I wasn’t sure.

“Why don’t you buys a place with the money in your bank.” Idiot! I thought as I turned and looked at Billy.

“I don’t think 200 quid would get me my own place for two.” Kenny answered sourly. Our parents had emptied our bank accounts when they split and I wasn’t sure what happened to the money.

I knew Ria had more than £500 in her account because she one a designing competition but I didn’t know how much exactly. I myself had some money in my bank account thanks to Mandy and Phil, birthday presents, saving up and a loan which I had repaid last year. Darn it; now I felt guilty.

“You stupid idiot! You do not come into my room and you do not, I repeat not, take my iPod! Kenny! Dave stole my iPod!” Another distance echo sounded in the room and I hid my smile as Kenny sighed.

“Ok, I gotta go. Can I meet you, Evie, at 6 this Wednesday in ‘hmv’ in town? My number is 07920119870, call me and we’ll make it happen.” He came over to me, kissed me on my head and then sprinted out of the room.

“Did you get the number?” I asked Billy who was staring at the door, aghast. “What? Thought he might say goodbye properly?” I had thought he might; three years! Hello?! “Better luck next time maybe.”

It was only when we were outside that he answered me.

“Yeah, I did. 079290119870.”

Silence again and I knew Billy was concerned for me –again- after the abrupt departure of both my siblings just then but I knew better than to tell him it was alright because I didn’t like lying to someone I saw as my older brother. Even if like my real older brother and my legal older brother he was an idiot.

[- serendipity]

Billy dropped me off and still, since leaving the house, nothing but the number had passed our lips when I asked for it again and added it in my phone.

Now as I listened to the engine eventually turn to silence I looked up at the house and sighed. I didn’t want go inside and face accusations of being with a boy from Ashley, sneaking out from Phil, drinking from Mary and crazy teenage partying from Harry. This was all the same thing if you thought about it though. So instead I walked around the back, dropping the latch on the wooden gate as I shut it behind me and dropping myself on the path just before it came out into the garden; this way I had the fence to lean against and no one would be able to see me if they looked out of a window.

As I settled myself comfortably my phone vibrated but then stopped after a couple of seconds. I took it from my pocket, unlocked it and looked at my missed calls. 11 from Pauly, 2 from Abi and 6 from Home.

My inbox was full of texts from Mary and my bbm chats were blocked up with broadcasts (Pauly still needs to tell me what they are!) and pings from Pauly. Another sigh escaped my lips before I could stop it but you have to express your feelings in some way.

Once I had scrolled past the pings I read her messages.

Where the heck are you?!

Why arent you answering your phone!!!!!??????

Ok seriously EVIE!!!!! ANSWER THE PHONE!!!!!!!

Billy isnt answering his phone either!!!!

Neither is ABI!! ABI FRO CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! Abi ALWAYS answers her phone!!! Shite! Do you think theyre t.o.g.e.t.h.e.r??????????

ANSWER THE BLEEDIn PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ill call the police!!

-.-

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D; D: D: D: :’( NONE of the gang are answering the sodding phones!!!!

Are you all together??? Are you arranging asurprise for me?? You KNOW i don’t like surprises!!!

Right youre ignoring me????? So.be.it. I shall ignore you!

Her spelling was ok but her punctuation and language and capitalisation was atrocious.

“I should wash her mouth out with soap.” I mumbled to myself in an attempt to heighten my spirits. I quickly closed all broadcasts, tapped out a reply to someone asking when the homework was due in and then moved onto my messages.

The ones from Pauly consisted of pretty much the same thing as the bbms. On the other hand the ones from Mary where worried ones. Now I felt guilty! Again.

Suddenly I jolted a bit as the phone vibrated in my hands and I looked at the caller ID. Queen of Awesome, Pauly!! Shaking my head I clicked the ‘accept’ button and put the blackberry to my ear.

“Where have you been? No one is answering the phone. You’ve just abandoned me with no explanation. Billy’s just arrived as soon as you have come back and Abi’s only just answered my messages and the others. What’s going on? If you guys are planning something for me or against me than you better own up. You owe me. Well you don’t but you do now and you know that I hate surprises. TelmenowInedtonow!” Her last words tumbled into each other but I recognised them as ‘Tell me now, I need to know!’

“I’ve been to see my family; don’t know why the others aren’t answering their phone. Don’t worry; no surprises either.” I said, calmly, hoping that my monotone voice would tell her I wasn’t in the mood.

She mumbled something incoherently and then sighed down the phone.

“Alright sorry. Just a bit annoyed.” I was going to tell her that was an understatement but I decided against it and waited for her to talk again. “So, now school is broken up-“

“School’s broken up?”

“Yeah, broke up on Friday stupid.”

“Oh, right, yeah, ‘course.” How had I forgotten?

“Anyway, now that school is broken up the next big thing is Halloween! This happens to be the first day back to school. However, we can work round that. But you need a costume. Well two. One for the Halloween party, which is happening on the Friday the 28th and, then one for actual Halloween. Which means; we need to go shopping!”

I nodded and then realised she wouldn’t be able to see me and answered yes, that we did.

After a few for minutes of aimless chatter she said goodbye and I shoved my phone into my pocket before pushing myself up; time to go and see what awaited me inside.
* * * *
After about twenty minutes I had managed to apologise and make them understand and I was now in my room staring at my wall.

Upon moving here I had already got a substantial amount of memorabilia of myself and my life. Adorning the part of wall directly above my bed was a large mural of Neverland, painted with bright colours and an accuracy that only Emily could portray. Sometimes, if you looked at it from the right angle, I thought it was coming out of the wall. You could just make out the Lost Boys, marching around a tree, their weapons slung over their shoulders as TinkerBell hovered around them. The mermaids were playing with their long hair and leaping out of the lagoon. Hook’s ship swayed gently in the water, Smithee leaning over board; green in the face. Hook himself was nowhere to be seen though. Peter flew above the mountains, smiling.

Above Neverland ‘DREAM’ was painted in an arch, big bold and black letters, stark against the baby blue of the wall. The head of my bed was set against the wall that held my door and between the bed and door posters were the main attraction.

Fred and George Weasley stood closest to my bed at a tilt, set against the Battle of Hogwarts. Siruis Black, Bellatrix Lestrange, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom joined them, starting the stream of Harry Potter posters that appeared in odd places around the rest of my room. Other posters showed a huge ‘Where’s Wally?’ image, a Lion King poster, Johnny English, Pinky from Pink and the Brain, Liam Wisker, Tyger Drew-Honey, James Phelps; just fitting in the space between my door and bed.

Around my door beer can, wine bottle, fizzy drink lids were super-glued on, forming a multi-coloured archway around and on the doorframe. It was well known that I collected these so party holders –over the past two years- and party-goers would open their drinks and throw the lids into a small bucket which I would proceed to take home. So, obviously, I had stacks of the lids. The rest lined the skirting board.

On my door itself, was a horseshoe tilted to the right. I believed in luck, only to an extent though, and so when someone had given me the horseshoe for a birthday present I had been unsure what to do with it. Most people put them on the outside of their doors and some put them above their beds but I didn’t want to do that. So I had decided I would be edgy. People say that if you tip their horseshoe upside down all the luck in their tips out, well I would put mine at a tilt, so all my luck was always on the verge of pouring out and dispersing.

I had often tried to imagine luck pouring and I had once written a description for it in a notebook and it was now pencilled on the silver metal of the horse shoe, hardly visible until you were about an inch away from it.

Glitter and stars gush to the floor, hitting it and forming puddles like mercury and then spreading until only a faint trace of glitter dots the floor.

The tiniest and neatest font I had ever managed really. It has to be tiny to fit that onto a horseshoe. Only that was on my door but on the right of my door, things started cluttering again.

I called this my ‘M Wall’. Partly because a large ‘M’ cut out of corrugated cardboard was stuck above everything, but mostly because it was all the messages I had ever received. Well, not all of them, just the ones from friends. Notes passed in class, riddles given by my brother, post-it notes, drawings, birthday cards and so on.

Some were even from my second year in Primary School, before I had even heard of where I am now. I had a habit of keeping things. However this was actually the wall with the least stuff on! It was the wall next to it that held most of my joy...

The Wall of Stuff.

A stolen name I’ll admit but it is certainly a good one for walls with...well...stuff on.

My wall had train tickets on, cinema tickets, plane tickets, my GSCE results letter, drawings, concert tickets, bus passes, old passport pages, pages covered in a conversation during a lecture on Growing Up in Year 8 and other stuff. It actually covered the whole wall, even going on to the edges of my mirror which was attached to the side of my wardrobe; shoved right into the corner so as not to ruin my Wall of Stuff. Which it didn’t.

The rest of my room was just the rest of my room, with occasional fairy lights and the picture collage stuck on the wall opposite the end of my bed. Pictures of awesome days and the people I love was all it really consisted off and it was growing bigger all the time.

And that was what I was looking at when someone knocked gently on my door. Without waiting for an answer Mandy walked in, holding a glass of what looked like apple juice.

Putting it down on my bedside table in silence she then just looked at me. To be honest I was starting to get slightly creeped out. But then Mandy smiled and leaned forwards, tucking a piece of hair behind me ear.

“I’m sorry for not telling you where I went.” I said softly and she nodded, still not saying anything, sitting down. “It was Billy...he told me he’d found Kenny and Marilyn.” The smile on her face flickered and I thought she was going to be annoyed or say something but it was back after I had blinked. “He had. A place called ‘Oakwood House’. Bit cliché really. Well...it’s like the house in Tracy Beaker anyway. We made up. They don’t hate me. They don’t hate me.” I repeated it, trying to embed it in my mind.

An arm slipped round my shoulders and I leant into the motherly comfort of Mandy and she rested her head on mine.

“I’m not angry at you. Phil and I don’t want to restrain you, we don’t mind you going off on your own –you’re old enough to look after yourself- but just telling us that you’re going out would be a bit kinder than just disappearing. We worry about you, see?” She didn’t wait for an answer but carried on talking. “But we also trust you. And we love you too.”

I smiled even though she couldn’t see me and the nodded, shifting slightly to get comfier. However, Mandy then kissed the top of my head and stood, leaning me upright and then handing me the apple juice. “Dinner’s in 15 minutes.” Then she was gone.
* * * *
The dinner was a quiet affair. I wish. Sam and Ashley wouldn’t stop bombarding me with questions as I attempted to eat my fish and chips -well fish and sausage technically- about where I had been and how Ria and Kenny were. They had never met them and seeing as I was their adopted sister, they had siblings they’d never met. Or something like that. I wasn’t entirely sure how it worked actually because Mandy and Phil had only adopted me but I had tried to keep the technical bits in the part of my mind where things like clowns where- things I didn’t want to think about. Phil looked kept on butting in with questions about the house they were staying in and if we should all arrange a meeting at some point. No was my firm answer to that. For as long as I could I wanted to keep all the boys in my life away from each other. However I didn’t mind the noise because it hid Mandy’s silence and the absence of Harry. I didn’t say anything about it but I could guess something was up because he never missed dinner. He was a teenage boy.

Soon though the questions subsidised and I stood with my finished food and walked through to the kitchen, dropping the greasy paper into the small bin and then wiping my hands on a damp towel.

“I’m going into town with the girls tomorrow; I’ll write everything down and put it on a note on the fridge. Should be back late and we’ll probably eat out.” I said, sticking my head round the door and ignoring the TV that was telling me to sign up to LoveFilm.

“Fine, be back by midnight though.” Phil said his eyes focused on Mandy and not me.

“Definitely. I’m just going to get a drink and then go sleep.” I said knowing that if I didn’t the late nights I had been having would catch up on me.

“Okay, goodnight sweetheart.”

“Night, love you.” I blew a kiss at all of them and then turned back into the kitchen, picking up the blackcurrant and making sure it was very strong. Then I filled the rest of the three quarters left with water from the tap and walked upstairs, not taking my eyes of the dark liquid that was prepared to flood over the edge of the plastic yellow cup and onto the light carpet of the stairs.

Once I had reached my room I grinned and set it down next to the empty glass that had held my apple juice earlier and thought about my success of not spilling a single drop. It was most definitely a first, I thought as I changed into the pyjamas that were shoved under my pillow in a messy ball that would drive Mary crazy if she ever saw it, blackcurrant spilling was a habit of mine that was completely accidental and horrifically something like a routine.

Maybe someday, in the very distant future, I will master it. But today was not that day because I had already spilt some at the dinner table on some of my chips. I smiled to myself and took a sip of the juice before walking over to the window and looking up.

Alas, the moon was hidden and in fact most of the lights came from the street lamps that lined the road. I pulled the curtains shut and walked back to my bed, lifting up the covers and snuggling them around me. I reached over and just managed to switch of my light before one last check of the room to make sure it was definitely empty and I turned my back to the room (okay, so I did check again several times to see if it was empty but we’ll just pretend I didn’t) before closing my eyes.

Of course I didn’t fall asleep straight away and I don’t know when I fell asleep but mainly, before I did sleep, I thought about Phil and Mandy and my mum and my dad. And my epic non-spilling blackcurrant skills.

[- serendipity]

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