A Fallen Rose }}

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A Fallen Rose }}

Postby Paradise; » Tue Jan 01, 2013 11:52 am

"Darling, you must act fast," my mother whispered to me, her words rushed and thick with fear. "When the rose falls it will be too late." She glanced at the window sill, her eyes searching. I followed her gaze, and there, standing tall in our garden was a single rose. It's petals a scarlett red, it's thorns sharp like daggers. The rose had an air of foreboding around it. Shivers ran up my neck and I glanced at my mother. "Move fast my dear Rose, time is running out," her voice faded as we watched in silence as another petal tumbled to the ground.

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Last edited by Paradise; on Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby Paradise; » Tue Jan 01, 2013 12:08 pm

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Table of Contents

Prologue ; ~
Chapter One ; ~
Chapter Two ; ~
Chapter Three ; -
Chapter Four ; -
Chapter Five ; -


So you've stumbled upon my little story have you?
Well I'm glad to know that somebody was intrigued enough to read this far. c:
This is a story I've had brewing up in my mind for quite some time now and have only just found the amount of motivation needed to actually start it.
The prologue has been ready for months now, I've been kind of neglecting it.
So now I'm going to actually write this little idea of mine.
Now, I tend to always abandon my stories, I never get far with them. So, I'm going to need some encouraging. If you actually wish for me to continue I'm going to need some constructive critisism, or for people to just let me know they're ready this! So comments and critiques are always welcomed with open arms. I will make sure to respond to each one of your comments, no matter what it says. ^^
Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy. :3
One last thing, please don't steal. You've got to have things to do with your time then steal my little idea. Come up with your own, everyones capable of doing it. It'll probably be even better than this idea anyways! c;
Last edited by Paradise; on Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:31 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby Paradise; » Tue Jan 01, 2013 12:11 pm

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I find it funny that so much power, so much responsibility, could be placed upon one girl. One young, teenage girl who is of no particular importance or specific background. I'm just a girl from a small town with a destiny much larger than anticipated. I'd dreamed of one day getting away from this place, of getting as far from here as possible. Now, I have the power to do exactly that. It's my duty to do just that, to leave my quiet little town and help take out people who were much stronger and much smarter than I. People who had remained hidden for so long and I had been the one to uncover them. To see them. Their location is imprinted in my brain. How? I have no idea. No one knows exactly what lead me to uncover their so carefully, hidden tracks. Nonetheless, there is an army that stands behind me, waiting to march into battle. A battle that will send the whole world into a pit of destruction and sorrow, but a battle that must be fought. My name is Rose, and for the first time in my life, my quaint little hometown doesn't seem so bad.
Last edited by Paradise; on Thu Jan 03, 2013 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby Paradise; » Tue Jan 01, 2013 12:15 pm

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There was something about the night sky, the twinkling lights, and the wide open space that was mesmerizing. There was so much freedom. The stars could go anywhere they liked. There were no fences, no roads, no buildings. Just wide open space, and the freedom to come and go as you please. I envy the stars. I wish for that kind of freedom, for the ability to choose whether I went or I stayed, but around here, it's not really an option.

My whole life I've grown up in the sleepy town of White Plains. I don't know why they call it that, it rarely snows. However, it is as boring as the color white. Maybe that's what the people who named this town were thinking. They sure didn't stay long my bet. I doubt many people would stay here if they had another choice. My whole life I've wanted to escape and get away from here, but my family's whole life is here. They refuse to move and I can't just leave them, they need me. My father passed away when I was young, just after the twins were born. I have six siblings: Max, Jackson, Ella, Elizabeth, Samuel and Stuart. My mother worked as much as she could, but it would never be enough to put food on the table for everyone. Therefore, I must work, meaning I can't leave. One day I'll leave, just not yet.

Tonight was my night off, from both work and looking after the little ones. Whenever I could I would hide away from the world and visit this secret spot of mine. It wasn't really secret, but rarely was I bothered by the presense of other humans. It was this pond deep in the forest. I didn't swim in it since it was home to hundreds of leeches, I just liked to sit on the rocks and dream. Dream of places outside of White Plains. I dreamed of making a living for myself, maybe get an education. It was the early 1900's and my family couldn't afford to send all of the kids to school so I decided to quit. School hadn't been my favorite thing, but in it's own way it was an escape for me. However, I knew my family had to come first.

The pond was still tonight; no fish lept from the water creating ripples, no birds chirped in the moonlight. I couldn't even hear the crickets. As I made my way to my favorite rock I frowned. Something was wrong. Usually there was always some sign of life hanging around the pond. Tonight there was none. Sitting down on the rock I drew my knees up close to my chest and listened carefully. Silence. The air must have been too cold, afterall I remember my mother saying something about it raining tonight. Shrugging I leaned back and sprawled out on the flat rock. My thoughts wandered as my eyes stared up at the night sky, trying to find the constellations that I knew.

As I was laying there, I heard it. It was the sound of footsteps creeping across the forest floor. My body tensed and I shot up onto my feet. My eyes darted from tree to tree in search of the source of all the noise. Just on the outskirts of the clearing I saw a man disappearing deeper into the trees. My instincts told me to run but my curiousity got the better of me. With slow, steady footsteps I followed the man. My pace was much slower than the man's due to my fear of stepping on a fallen twig and alerting him of my presense. The forest was pitch black, so all I had to follow was the sound of crushed leaves and twigs snapping up ahead. I prayed it wasn't just some hare or doe I was following. Suddenly, the noises stopped. The forest was once again silent and still. I stopped in confusion, straining to make out any sounds. Just as I was preparing to turn back feeling rather defeated, I just barely made out the sound of wood snapping. I heard the sound of a fire crackling in the frosty air. Who would be out having a fire at this hour? Most of the town would be asleep right now, my main reason for being awake. Following the noise, I found myself heading deeper and deeper into the forest. Few people traveled these parts of the wounds, leaving me with no trails to follow. Instead I had to brush through bushes and dodge low tree branches. My long hair managed to get tangled in berry bushes multiple times. I would grumble to myself while trying to untangle my hair, praying no one would hear me.

After much struggle, I finally made it to what must have been the dead center of the forest. I could hear the faint chatter of people and the sound of crackling wood as fire ate it. It was a camp of some sort. Getting a little bit closer, I stood behind a tree hoping it would hide me as best possible. Poking my head around the giant trunk I examined the camp. There was at least three tents and a giant fire right in the middle that had to have been ten feet high. It was insane. How the flames didn't reach the tree branches I have no idea. I let out a tiny gasp as seven people slowly emerged from the tents to gather around the fire. My eyes squinted, struggling to see everything in the darkness. Voices filled the air but it was in a language I had trouble understanding. I managed to make out certain words but the rest I struggled with. The people spoke a language I had never heard before, yet I seemed to know it. The idea frightened, but intrigued me at the same time. I continued to scan the camp for any hints of who these people were. Just as I was about to assume these people to just be travellers from another town who were too cheap to rent a room in our local motel, I noticed something on their jackets. The people seated around the camp were all men, and they all wore matching outfits. They wore pitch black jackets, and on each jacket on the left side just over the heart, was a symbol embroidered on the jacket. It was a rose bathed in flames.

The symbol puzzled me and I wanted to get closer and see it more clearly, but as I lifted my foot a twig snapped. Heads shot up and all stared out in my direction. One man made eye contact with me and I gasped. His eyes were pure black like the shadows that hung around the camp. My heart beat faltered and I took a step backwards. I wanted to run, to hide, but I could not break eye contact with the man. There was something about him that held my eyes captive. Right before my eyes the men were there one second and then they were gone. Just gone. No puff of smoke, no lightning strick, no pop, nothing. Just there one moment and gone the next. My eyes snapped shut and kept them close for a moment before reopening them. The clearing was empty. There wasn't even a fire burning. Fear began to pump through my veins and my heart beat was increasing. Without hesistation I turned and ran. I ran from the clearing and didn't stop until I reached the pond. Even then I only stopped to catch my breath. Something was definitely wrong. There were no explinations for what I just saw, and from the feeling I had burning inside me, I knew this was only the begininng.
Last edited by Paradise; on Thu Jan 03, 2013 11:18 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby suzhay » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:38 am

~ tracking ~
ImageImageImage
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - M Y T H is, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    after all,
    the n e v e r e n d i n g story.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Made by flight . thief - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Image
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby OrangeNeon » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:48 am

I did not expect that, very odd indeed ^^ I'm still loving the descriptions!
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby Paradise; » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:50 am

Thank you. ^^ The ending doesn't seem too abrupt?
; You are the piece of me
I wish I didn't need ღ

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doing ;; searching for one x one partners on as
feeling ;; nonchalant & bored
thinking ;; that hopefully my one x one partners here on cs migrate to as with me


i'm now a part of the as community as lately cs has been lacking semi-lit+ role plays. you can find me there under the username cheshire cat;
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby suzhay » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:54 am

I think you chose the perfect place to end. In the next chapter, you might want to experiment with the first two or three sentences. You would have to think about if you want to start the chapter off with a lot of action or a little bit. But I think you will do well. You have a real talent for this.
ImageImageImage
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - M Y T H is, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    after all,
    the n e v e r e n d i n g story.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Made by flight . thief - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Image
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby OrangeNeon » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:57 am

Agreed. It leaves a cliffhanger.
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Re: A Fallen Rose }}

Postby Paradise; » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:57 am

You guys are too awesome. The only reason I continue to write is because of the support I get from people like you guys. c:

I'm kind of planning on giving a background on the people, how I'll start it off I am at a loss for. I doubt they'll be a ton of action though. I'm probably going to just concentrate on informing the readers. Do you think that would be okay or should there be action?
; You are the piece of me
I wish I didn't need ღ

Image

doing ;; searching for one x one partners on as
feeling ;; nonchalant & bored
thinking ;; that hopefully my one x one partners here on cs migrate to as with me


i'm now a part of the as community as lately cs has been lacking semi-lit+ role plays. you can find me there under the username cheshire cat;
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