Copper Blazing {Critiques please?}

[RunsWithScissors]

So I've recently started a story on Wattpad.com, but I'd like some of your opinions before posting it. It's only the prolouge, but it's all I have done at the moment. Thanks! With love, VEGGIE

Running. Running and tripping and falling and running again. But from what? I already knew the answer. I was running from the impossible. Myself. Behind me was a menagerie of animals, wolves to hyenas to giraffes to my look-a-like, but the eyes never changed. They were all me. And I'd seen it all before. I was running, running, and then out of the blue, falling. And just when the ground rushed to meet my flailing limbs... I stopped. Distant voices... Where had I heard them before? "Copper... Up..."

CRACK! The all too familiar sound of the Headmistress's clipboard colliding with my head snapped me out of the nightmare, the same one that had plagued me every night for the past two years. Ever since my parents were killed. I fixed the woman with the best glare that I could muster this early in the morning, and, with much giggling from the other girls, earned my temple another crack with the thick, solid piece of oak. I slowly rose to my feet, bowing low to the Headmistress as was custom, and marched off to the library. As much as I hated having to live in this scummer-hole of an orhanage, the library kept me here. Books can take you far, far away, into a place of struggle and challenge and and yet still having hope. In real life that'd all be a load of horse scum. Like that dream... It didn't make sense. They were all me... But how was that possible? I guess I'd never know. I returned to the dorms after a simple porridge breakfast and dressed for the day in a simple green tunic and breeches, lacing up worn leather boots to my calves.

The sun glared through the windows as I bolted outside to catch up with the others, a thick novel tucked under my arm, hair in a braid.

"About time." Headmistress muttered. "See to it that you're on time in the future, Miss Blaze." As were the rules, I bowed and nodded, staring at the ground.

"Yes, Headmistress." Seemingly satisfied, the old witch marched off across the green to the barn, the twelve of us from the orphanage scrambling after her, eager for the one lesson that we had free of the Headmistress. The grass swayed around our waists as a cloud drifted over the sun. I glanced at it, stunned into silence and immobility. It wasn't a cloud, oh, no. The creature had an enlarged eagle's head and wings, with the body and tail of a lion. It was a gryphon. That was the last thing I remember before the ground rushed towards me and everything went dark.

[xianli]

Wow! I want to know what comes next - why is there a gryphon? XD I'm expecting a great answer to that one in future chapters.
I particularly like the suspense of the prologue, the balance between the description and action.

Maybe a bit more on the other girls? I'm not really sure, not their looks but on their attitude I suppose (don't mind my weird tastes, I just get interested in side characters all the time).

[RunsWithScissors]

Thanks!

[acinonyx ♥]

This is very nice! I like it a lot.
One thing you could change is that whenever someone speaks, it's a new paragraph.

I walked outside, and was just locking the door when Mr. Cement was walking down the sidewalk. He called to me. "Hey, look who it is! Joe!" I smiled weakly, as I didn't want to talk to him, but I still replied. "Hello, Sir."

I walked outside, and was just locking the door when Mr. Cement was walking down the sidewalk. He called to me. "Hey, look who it is! Joe!"
I smiled weakly, as I didn't want to talk to him, but I still replied. "Hello, Sir."

Another thing is, you might want to stretch out your sentances.

I returned to the dorms after a simple porridge breakfast and dressed for the day in a simple green tunic and breeches, lacing up worn leather boots to my calves.

Instead of this^^, you could explain a bit about what happened at breakfast, if she ate alone, if she was bullied, etc., and make a few sentances about that. You could then explain something about if everyone had to wear the same thing everyday, or she was the only one that had to wear the gross/wonderful color green, etc..

Sorry if I was to harsh. These are things that I have seen before, so don't worry about it. Everything can get and be better, you know.