When Every Thread is Cut Loose*(tradgedy)*

[Lady Tuesday]

¤¤¤Hello, I am Creole, I am going to be doing a story on the life of a young girl and how her world falls apart all at once. Please feel fee to add crit, or to post ideas for the next movement in the plot that is: complete and utter chaos¤¤¤

¤¤Give me time to post, please. I get witers block and I try to perfect it before posting, thank you.¤¤

¤Please note: This book is a constant work in progress. It's not finished yet.¤

ALL of this book is © to me (Creole)
DO NOT even think of stealing. If you would like to put a link in your signiture to advertise this story, be my guest. But DO NOT for a minute claim it as you own.
Claiming it as your own would be art theft. And art theft is illegal.


(P.S. This going to be somewhat like a tragic take on cinderella)

Author's Note
Hi! I have not published yet, but I am looking to. As I am not yet an adult, my parents told me they would help me get published if I took it seriously and produced, a good, loved, original piece of work. I hope this fits those needs and that it pleases you. I am not one of those stuck up authors that think your suggestions are stupid and my ideas are perfect! There is ALWAYS room for improvement. Please comment and post crit, I promise I don't bite, and unless you are purposefully rude, I will be extremely kind and patient with you.

Partner Authors (Click on one of the links below to read books by amazing authors here on CS!)~

.:Vulnerable:. written by Canine Hugger
(more soon!)

Table of Contents~

Chapter 1
Chapter 2

[Lady Tuesday]

Probably somewhere in Europe around the mid 1700s))

Chapter 1~


Name? Lucy Banes. Occupation? Seamstress. Age? 16.

*At the new tailor's shop on Lost Trail Drive*

"Lucy! Get your ugly muffin in here and sweep away these cumbs! How many times do I tell you? We don't eat food in here! We won't get any costumors if we have rats, now will we?!" A chubby hand smacked the side of my face hard. The ring that was on the hand glinted in the light as it swung past my vision. Mrs. Wickly was getting on my nerves. It was a miracle she had ever gotten married, not to mention had a child. Her annoying son, Harvey, was the one who always snuck cookies into the shop. Pointing fingers, however, would get me nowhere fast in this place. That seven-year-old brat would likely choke on them one day anyways, hopefully someday soon. "When you're done, you clean up all this junk and sort out the yarn, ya hear?"

"Yes, Mrs. Wickly." I curtsied in spite of myself, holding my raggedy, worn out dess in my fingers. I got the broom from the tall but shallow closet to my left, and the dust pan that was hanging on a rusty nail at the height of my eyebrows fom the wall next to the door. The walls of the shop were caked with old chipped away wallpaper, the wood below was grimey and rotten. On top of all of this lovely scenery, it smelt like spoiled milk and musty feet. I began to sweep away the dirt that blanketed the wooden floor boords into a small pile full of dust bunnies and what seemed to be half a peice of cake worth of crumbs.

------—------—------—------

The yarn was in clumps and heaps of knots, little buttons and needles were tangled in the matted thread and I occasionally pricked myself. It had taken the entire night, pulling the yarn, snipping off the unusable peices and thowing them in the little desk-side wire waste bin, but I had finally finished. My fingers were raw from trying to untie the knots, but they were only slightly bleeding where I had stuck my fingers accidentally. I stood up from the old desk and stretched my arms behind my head with a yawn. I began to walk sleepily towads th ladder that led up to the small loft that was big enough to fit only my bed and a small drawer for my clothes and other posessions. I collapsed on my bad with a tired sigh and then I wrapped my thin blanket around me, my pillow was hard and full of hay, but I was used to it. I quickly drifted off into a peaceful dream and my day's troubles were soon forgotten.

The ground was cold as I lifted my head from the dirt and cobblestone path. The world around me spun and my vision blurred, but everything was calm, relaxing. A voice beckoned me softly and I stood imediately. I was wobbling and unbalanced but I followed the voice all the same. Streaks of colorful light zoomed past my face and I had the sudden desire to reach out and grab one. When my vision was mostly clear, I began to notice ash falling around me like little gry snowflaskes. They warmed my skin as they fell upon me and I became more steady. Again, the voice called to me. Moe and more I needed to reach out and grab one of the lights that whizzed around me hurriedly. I stretched my arms out to grab one and when My hand made contact, It burned with an intense pain I had never known before. The only way I could think to explain it as, was death. Th voice rang out again, this time as a shattering scream. And then it was over.

I awoke sweaty and unnerved, my hands burned with intense pain. But it had only been a dream. I sat up quickly, only for my head to make contact with Mrs. Wickly's. "Ow!" She yelped. "You obnocious, rude, unconciderate brat! Do you know what bloody time it is? You woke everyone up screaming and shouting! And then you have the nerve to injure me!" She waved her chubby fingers at me angrily. I couldn't believe this lady was my foster mom. On top of that, I had to live with her for another two years. Why had my parents died? How, even? No one ever told me. I don't think anyone knew.

[Canine Hugger]

*clears throat* I am here to share my opinion! Huzzah!
Anyways xD I really like this so far. Your writing style is one of the better I have seen recently. That said, I do see how you think you add a little too much detail. I'm not sure if that is the case or the problem is more towards sentence fluency. The descriptions can make it kind of choppy at times and awkward to read. I wouldn't say you should cut those details out, but maybe mess around with splitting it up a bit. Try reading it out loud (I know it's awkward, but do it quietly and you'll still get the effect), you'll notice errors in both fluency and grammar faster than reading it in your head.
I would love to continue reading this so keep going!

[Lady Tuesday]

Ok and thank you for the crit, ya I'm on my phone and it has auto correct. So it messes up a lot. And the 'r' button doesn't always catch :c I need a new phone XD I do read it out loud sometimes, but I find that When I read, my brain sees it like it's fine (I guess I have autocorrect in a manner of speaking) so it's hard for me to edit my own work sometimes, that's why I like getting help from other authors, friends or family. And I'm working on the next paragraph right now

[Canine Hugger]

Aw, understandable. Phones are so unreliable nowadays. We should all just get Nokias again.

[Lady Tuesday]

Or I could just stop being lazy and go to the computer in the living room, but what fun would that be, right? XD

Ok, working on the next part now.

[Canine Hugger]

Exactly! Why do today what can be put off until tomorrow is my motto. And fantastic! I can't wait to read it.

[Lady Tuesday]

It's up I added a sentence to the last paragrgraph so it makes more sense.

[Canine Hugger]

Very nice! I like the added drama with the dream scene! A+ for you!

[Lady Tuesday]

Thank you. I love it when british people add bloody to make things to make them sound angry, its funneh XD anyways next paragraph!