Floating Candles.
Every morning feels the same. Beginning with confusion, and then dread as the memories wash over me. I can still feel the flashes of light, all the images that stream behind my eyelids, all of the terror. Yet these pictures are silent- the images were too much, too much to take in and hear what was going on at the same time.
Crashes. Fires. Running.
We ran. We ran, and we ran, and we kept running. I think we may have screamed, or maybe we simply panted or gasped. I don’t quite remember. I still can see it as if it was a movie with the sound torn away- because that’s how it looked. It felt unreal, but it was something I could feel coming, it felt like a wave of dread. I can compare it to watching a fire creep slowly towards your house, knowing what was about to happen- but no one else sees anything until it spreads to their own property. I wasn’t the only one who could feel it coming, I know there were others though there were very few. So many people were too optimistic about the future, they thought nothing could go wrong. That’s when the attacks began.
The attacks were brutal, but I can’t tell you where they came from. The first part of the attack were the satellites going out. Weird. That was the most common response, but I knew it was no accident. Do you see? It wasn’t one satellite, it was all of them. As much hatred as I have for the people who did this, they are clever. Think about it, the best way to cut off all of the people in a technology based country, the people can’t call friends or family, no social media (good riddance), and absolutely no television or news.
We were all sitting ducks, that is until the real attack came. I guess you could say we became sprinting ducks that day. Have you ever looked in a history book and seen those giant balloon crafts- the dirigible things? That was the first wave that came. There were hundreds of them and they dropped bombs, little ones- no nuclear war for giant balloons I suppose. I had seen this whole thing coming, so I convinced a couple friends to go on a camping trip with me. Perfect timing in my opinion- go out where there is no cell reception when there is no point in using a useless phone anyways.
I am only fifteen, but I was a foster kid, so running off was not unheard of for me, and a camping trip sounded fine to my “parents” and none of my friends would listen to my theories of war anyways. But I did still try to save them. Our second night at the campsite, we all sat down by the creek that was nearly ten feet across but it was more of a slow moving pool that sat about six feet deep in some places. There were nine of us there, and each of us lit a few floating candles until there were around sixty little candles floating around the pool, but the reflections of the flames made it look like more. It was beautiful- one of the last beautiful things I saw.
That’s when we saw it, intruding on our beautiful pool was the reflection of something much less friendly than our flames. Remember those giant balloons? Yeah, you guessed it, the dirigibles were flying directly overhead. One of us screamed, and someone shined a lantern up to the sky, I don’t recall who this was- but I wish they hadn’t done that. The airships were so far away, but I could still hear people yelling from above. They must have seen our location, and they were yelling at each other to do something, but what was- before I could finish my thought my instincts had kicked in and I jumped down into the pool feeling the effect underwater as someone else jumped after me.
The pool was cool, and so quiet for about half of a second, but only that long. The massive shock wave of an explosion hit the water and the sound came a little late, but arrived in it’s own time as a muffled roar. I felt other smaller things hit the water, but everything was becoming fuzzy, and dark, and tired. The last thing I remember was the feeling of being dragged onto solid land and the sharp needles of air in my lungs as well as one last sight. The sight of many of my friends laid out on the opposite bank and many overturned floating candles. Only two candles still sat on top of the water flickering side by side.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning I couldn’t figure out what was real, it was as if I was outside of my body. I was reliving what had happened the night before, different possibilities, ones were one of us called out and we all ran, stomping through the dust, and other ones were nothing happened at all as we all watched the airships fly by. Then there was one more. One were we all perished, I could see each of my friends enveloped by flames, or floating in the pool. This was the last scene I had to endure before I grabbed hold of reality.
I shot up to a sitting position on the ground, but I was not where I remember being. There was no creek, no fire, no little candles, and to my relief, no bodies. There was also no one else around me. I sat in a small clearing that had a young tree growing from it’s center, as I looked up through the branches of the small tree- all was silent. That is until I heard a rustle and the crack of a twig under foot- or paw- though I much prefer foot. I can’t express the relief I had when I saw one of my friends, he must have been the one who had jumped into the water after me. It was Bay- that is what I call him, his real name is Benny, but I like Bay more.
~~~~~~~~~~~
We spent the next few days talking sparingly, and walking much. We were heading into the city- walking down the freeway- to see what had happened. We knew very well that destruction was what awaited us- but it doesn’t mean it held no shock. The city never felt so big, and I never felt so small. I have always felt strong but the sights we saw could bring anyone with the slightest bit of empathy to tears.
The great towers were crumpled, and bridges were burned- and this is what we saw from a distance. Smoke was rising and the closer we got, the more sure we became that there was nothing that our former home could provide for us other than despair, and so we turned back to the only slightly scorched forest we came from. We carefully decided our route to avoid our campsite, we knew that the forest was the safest place to hide- given the good chances whoever attacked would come back, and probably soon.
We sat on the edge of the road for what felt like forever until the both of us took that first step into the brush knowing that what was ahead of us was our fate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soon we came upon little bits of burned wood, and it immediately sent flashes of the first night. The destruction got worse and worse as we began to catch sight of bits of fabric from a tent, and then we saw it. We stepped into the burnt clearing far too similar to the campsite we came from- three? four days ago? How many nights had gone by that we just walked through? I couldn’t remember but as I thought of it, I could feel the exhaustion set in. As I remembered what we were looking at I began to feel nauseous, grabbed Bay’s hand and lead him off to another less charred portion of the forest.
Neither of us knew how to make a fire of any kind, but the nights weren’t too cold this time of year. The stars shone through the leaves of the trees, shining on as they normally do, oblivious to the matters of life on earth being destroyed, the moon looked a little closer and peered down on our green planet doing her usual duties of pulling on far away tides. I realized how earth is such a huge community that’s completely quarantined from the rest of the universe, how the universe never revolves around people and the universe has better priorities than our little wargames.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dreams cursed me that night, full of flashes and visions of the terror in the cities, they kept replaying. I couldn’t help, I couldn’t wake up to relieve myself of the terror. I saw my friends sometimes, they were screaming but everything was quiet, I saw myself, I ran and I ran, I tried to run away. But I couldn’t get away from the tears as far as I ran.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The morning light was gentle and calm. I could feel the slightest breeze brush my face, the grass clinging to my skin as if it was trying to make me part of the earth. I could hear the trees, they sang as the wind danced through their branches, and I could hear a rhythm, beating in my ear, soft but strong and warm. Taking everything in figured out that it was a heartbeat. I had fallen asleep curled up against Bay with my head on his chest. This realization came with a shock of embarrassment and I sat up slowly, hoping not to wake him so we can go on surviving without this piece of memory, but I would admit that I was reluctant to get up. It was calm and comfortable, and he was my best friend. I suppose my only friend at this point.
I looked back at where he lay, but his eyes were already open fixed on the clouds visible through the trees. I began to blush slightly and I dropped my head to allow my hair to fall over my face, as I did so he raised his head to look at me and he smiled. He didn’t make fun of me, he just smiled in such a calm peaceful way, so I smiled back and we shared a laugh. I couldn’t imagine that I was laughing because in my subconscious my dreams were slowly being processed from the night before, they felt more like memories than dreams, but I could stand to focus on the present and leave those thoughts for later. “Are you okay Faith?” I only replied with a slight chuckle, he has always called me Faith even though he knows it’s not my name, soon everyone else did the same. Bay and I had been close friends for years, and we had a trust that couldn’t be beat, maybe that’s why he jumped in the pool after me- he trusted my instincts.
We sat in our grassy patch for a while not knowing what to talk about. But really, what was there to talk about? School was probably just a pile of rubble, home was out of the question as was family, and the future. So we just looked on into each other’s eyes, I never noticed how deep Bay’s eyes were, they had layers upon layers of golds and ambers with just a whisper of green. All I could do was try to see what he was thinking. I’m sure he was doing the same.
Eventually we broke focus and I pulled my mousy brown hair back into a ponytail that I tied with the hair band that always remained on my wrist. As I pulled back that last piece of hair off of my freckled cheek, Bay asked the one dreaded question. “What do we do now?”
“We keep moving,” then I stood back up and offered my hand.
“But where are we supposed to go? I don’t know if we will survive in the forest,” he replied refusing my hand. We stood there in a state of tension as we took in the reality of our situation. He brought his eyes up and saw my hand still frozen in its offer, and with one swift move he looked back into my eyes with incredible intensity, he grasped my hand and quickly pulled down forcing me back onto my knees in front of him.
“Okay, you’re right, what do we do now?” I said after a long pause. He was right, we had no mission, and nowhere to go or live other than the forest. This was nothing like the movies, there was nothing left to do and searching for surviving communities was impractical where if there were any, they would be a lifetime away, or that’s what we thought at the time.
I dropped my gaze when he didn’t respond until I felt his large hand gently cup my cheek, “We keep living, and we don’t stop. We build camp, we scavenge for food, or,” with a laugh,” we can raid the gas stations. But whatever we do, we will survive.” I could help but smile, living with Bay in the forest, I admit it, I could enjoy it. I covered my face as I began to laugh to feel my cheeks were wet with tears, were they happy tears? Or were they tears of fear? I guess they were somewhere in between.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bay held up his end of the bargain and we headed back to the road in search of a gas station. We started to talk more than we were before- partially to distract us from the hunger that had become overbearing, and also because even though something terrible had happened, the two of us decided that we need to think about the present and let go of our feelings of dread. For this I felt that we were disgracing the memories of those who died as we were joking and smiling as we walked towards our destination, and I felt guilty for a minute. “They are all gone and would rather us try to be happy then spend all day in grief,” Bay reminded me as we push open the door into the deserted mini-mart. It was definitely deserted, and to both of our reliefs there were no bodies either.
Something was not quite right, food was scattered and picked over. This didn’t seem too odd other than we presumed that no one else survived. There would be no reason for the store to be in this condition unless someone- or several someones were in a hurry. Bay felt the same, but we continued inside with no hesitation because whoever was there were not there anymore. Quickly packing a few bags with food unlikely to spoil as well as a few things to eat as we go, Bay stopped short, put his bags down and darted into the back corner returning with a few beers. “Bay, hell no! You aren’t getting drunk on my watch,” I couldn’t help but laugh as I said it.
“What? I’ve always wanted to try one, what better time than now?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said, but we were both laughing too much and I didn’t want to fight him on it, so we pack up our bags and headed back into the forest.
After our long trek back into the forest, the light was beginning to dim and we set up a temporary camp under a great old growth tree. Bay had the good sense to pick up a lighter and we built a small fire pit to provide us with some extra warmth and light. I immediately looked into our stash of food and turned back around in time to see my only friend open his beer. I have to say that the idea of him drinking made me very uncomfortable, but I was willing to go with it because there was no one around to judge. He offered me a taste which I accepted but immediately spit out. I swear, that was the most foul thing I had ever tasted, but he seemed to like it. I quickly made him promise that he would only drink one beer. Soon both of us were sitting by the fire, snacking on mini-mart food, making jokes and laughing. Bay, he was laughing just a little more that he normally would have, but he wasn’t quite drunk, he was still pretty lucid.
Knowing that now was the time to ask him questions he would probably not answer if he was not drinking, I had to ask, “Why have you always called me faith? You know it’s not my name.”
“I know it’s not your name,” he slowly replied suddenly more sober than before.
“Then why do you call me Faith?”
“I think it’s prettier than Ivy,” I refused to let this be the final answer, because I knew he was lying, “I have always called you faith because when I first met you, I had no hope in life. You gave me hope, and you became the one person I could always have faith in, you are my faith.”
It took me a long time to say anything back, but eventually I asked another question, “Bay, do you like me?”
“Of course I like you,” I looked back into his eyes and asked the question I could never take back.
“No.... do you love me?”
~~~~~~~
•Glitch•
~•PART ONE•~
Introduction
This is Jamie.
she has no memory of her past
people don’t get her
and who am I?
lets say,
I know her
inside and out
she wants me to get out of her head
tough luck Jamie
1.
Some people have a stutter
a twitch
a problem
a phobia
But do you have a glitch?
a second of blindness,
lightning shooting through your brain
and it all goes black.
The floor is cold
At least you can't see the people staring
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2.
The floor is still cold, but sight has come back.
sitting in the hall in your school
yes people are staring but at least they say nothing
because you don't reply
you gave up on speaking months ago
because people stopped listening
they think you are lying
glitches are fake
you only want attention
of course they want to think that
even the small amount of attention you got before
that was too much for you
people stare
you stare back
is that considered intimidating?
staring back?
well you are still a freak.
that never changed.
and every one knows it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3.
Students are cleared
but teachers stare just as much
After Shock settles
you have sat there for several minutes
teachers, the adults
the mature ones
are still uneasy about gathering you
you, a 15 year old girl
they still hesitate before moving
stopped dead by your eyes
bright green and flaring
from under your short black hair
they can see that you have been watching the commotion
silent as always,
seeing the concern
the confusion
fear
hatred
Makes you feel great
huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4.
Ushered towards the office
to the phone
they all pray this time you will speak
talk to your mom yourself
explain you glitched
for the sixth time this month
you disappoint
you always do
you are human
disappointment follows being human
your form of human is simply
Disappointing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5.
You feel smothered by
people surrounding you
peoples concern for you
even the feel of eyes on you
so weak.
you even feel smothered by the heat
the heat inside your "mom's" car
sweating in the passenger's seat
you may have a "mom" for now
but foster parents always give up on you
they always do
but you have to give her credit
she is only 26
she comes and picks you up
and deals with the silence
don't feel guilty
don't worry Jamie
she will leave soon
just like the others
It will be just us
Alone again
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6.
You can’t feel that alone
I talk to you
I'm always with you
in this sad sad little head
Try and be as silent as you can
unless you stop thinking you always reply
we have such lovely little conversations
don’t we
you get a life lesson or two
I explain what you don’t get
and I help you understand this pain
Yes
go to this happy place of yours
the one that will never be
Real parents
no me
…
It’s amusing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7.
You Sit in the dark corner of this old class room
you are pale
skinny
and have scary eyes
but
you are not a vampire,
you little imbecile
Eventually you will need to find a person
a freak like you
I hear there is a Circus nearby
…...
Stop!
these stupid pointless thoughts!
you don't want to go
your afraid
shut up.
communicate with some one else
your nagging thoughts are
irritating
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8.
Insane
your just thinking of this now?
of course.
don't think of me as a delusion
haven't I been the only one....
the only friend to talk to you
every one else thinks your a freak
I’m just the only one to tell you the truth.
Does having a friend
even if inside your head
make you insane?
You are more dull than I thought
I’m obviously real.
you hear me.
I see you...
if only on the inside
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9.
Oh you wimp
you have been panicking too much
why would you be afraid
of me you say?
A voice
me
scary
Stop crying,
staining your shirts does nothing
your weak heart will still hurt
Oh so this is about that phone call
the one to foster-care you over-heard
...
we're going back
figures
doesn't it?
The more glitches you have
less people have hope
in you
At least there will be:
a new house
new "family"
new school
more chances you will have
chances to prove you are
to put lightly
Worthless
Ugh,
And the water works begin again...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10.
Now look what you’ve done
You are sitting here
siting in the corner of your room
weeping
You really thought you had a chance
one to stay with your fake mom
to be loved
you still had hope
Hope.
you crushed it all
all by your self
…
And me?
you think I have part in killing the hope?
You want me gone.
You hate me.
If I was gone
who would care for you
who would tell you the reality of your self
and talk to you
Do you really want me to leave?
The first thing you say out loud
the only thing in months
Stop Stop Stop
muttering in your corner
do you want to be sent to the asylum
your already here in foster care
I say, stop stop stop to you
your not helping your self
Maybe nothing can help you
have you thought of that?
is there a point
...
to you?
What purpose do you have?
no one loves you
your just
...
The freak of nature
or to some,
the fake
I know how to make myself go away
as well as
the glitches
the staring
the pain
Don’t you want that?
Have you thought of a gun
put it close to your ear
and you wont be able to hear me
and every thing can
…
End
~•PART TWO•~
11.
Well wasn’t that convenient
I can cause glitches
fascinating
…
I knew that was the perfect time
Now as your dull eyes re-focus
look to your right
now what is this?
taped to the bottom of your wardrobe
…
It appears that the previous child
or last one to live in this room
was a little
juvenile delinquent
A gun hidden away
Now what will you do with it?
think about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12.
Amazing how comforting that can feel
the touch of rough black metal
as your fingers glide over it
Stop crying
is this how you want to go?
Your body found
streaked in tears
now that’s not the way to do it
You are sure of your decision
and you will carry it through
no tears
Raise your gun
prepare your self
this has to be done
you know it’s true
Hold your head high
brush your hair back
Gun to position
ready?
It’s
time
To
Go
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
13.
Your on the floor
I remember you falling
but I am still here
and so are you
What have you done!?
you couldn't even kill your self correctly
I can tell the bullet grazed your forehead
so why did you fall
that is the question
Damn it Jamie!
open your eyes
I don't know what's happening
not until your eyes open
...
Ah
I see, so you were tackled
just as you pulled the trigger
you are completely surrounded by people
all of them are staring
This was to end every thing
make it all simple
I told you to stop crying
they found you too soon
this complicates every thing
you will be on constant watch.
Good job Jamie
you ruined you last chance
Enjoy you suffering because
this is all your fault.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14.
Just keep eating
if you keep eating they stop staring
if you stop eating
or your still
you may go on a rampage
Or so they think
They may lock you away
never to be seen again
at least your eating in the filthy mess-hall of an old foster home
not being fed through a slat in the door
not yet at least
…
Why did you put down your fork?
people are staring.
what do you plan to do?
scream?
Gah!
Stop.
Screaming!
You look like a lunatic
well i guess you already are
but screaming is not helping your image
Seriously!
I was not suggesting this.
It’s called sarcasm child.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
15.
Well arrangements are being made
right now
as we speak
To the asylum we go!
now wont this be exciting!
you may meet another lunatic
mute like you.
But what is the chance of that?
I’d say very little
even if luck is not in your favor
…
You have me.
until you start screaming.
then I leave.
that wasn’t fun, you gave me a head ache.
Pack your things
We are going to the asylum
were you belong
Were you have always belonged
call it your...
home
But whats your home with out me?
I’ll be there with you the whole time
to give you advice
help make decisions.
Wont this be simply
fantastic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
16.
Well isn’t this nice.
it’s more clean than the foster house
you have you own room
…
that locks from the out side
BUT still
we have been here a week
you’ve glitched only three times.
And people smile at you...
okay,
so its a sympathetic smile
or,
one that says you scare me, so I wont make you mad
…
Yeah mostly that kind of smile.
Sure I’m not making this sound great
but look around
you found the place were you belong.
amongst all these crazy people
They make you seem almost sane!
now that’s pretty incredible.
Ooh
therapy time!
now this is the most amusing.
you, Jamie, you are here because
1. you tried to kill yourself
2. you refuse to speak
…. Is lack of speech an indicate of a mental problem?
well, what I’m getting at is..
you are not here because you have a voice in your head.
you my friend,
are here because your life seems to be
…
to precious.
I hate to disagree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
17.
Well.
now that didn't go too well
What were you thinking?
you started ''whimpering" in the middle of therapy.
now you look like a nervous mess.
a breakdown waiting to happen.
All he did was ask, How are you are you?
that's all.
you are becoming so weak
you were never strong...
but you are at an all time low.
This is disappointing Jamie.
I have always told you not to cry.
whimpering applies to this rule.
Jamie, you have to listen to me.
I am helping you here.
... I know you are not deaf.
But why wont you listen?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
18.
You glitch
time
and time again.
It’s becoming more frequent
you panic more
you cry more
Dealing with your mind...
it’s exhausting!
I know you’re paranoid
but you shouldn’t be.
Calm down,
people only glance at you from cracked doors
because,
well you concern people!
I cant believe you cant see why.
well you scream
you cry
you refuse to speak
not to mention you pass out every other day
Get your act together.
you’re loosing the battle called your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19.
A doctor.
they say it’s for a physical
but why believe them.
They think there is something wrong in your brain.
you know this wont be fun
there is a guarantee of needles
Needles just stuck into you
like you’re a lab rat.
you will only be an experiment to them
they don’t want to help you.
why would they?
No one
no one at all has ever cared
you probably don't even seem like a real person
just a bunch of crazy disguised as a person
they will have no mercy.
You must resist them
they will torture you
you cant go willingly
With their power
they could kill you
You may simply a waste of life
but do you want a doctor to kill you?
even if you killed your self,
you could have gone with dignity
but by a doctor?
Why of course I have a plan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
20.
The bright florescent lights
these plain white walls.
the air, too dry and cold
you were supposed to never let them get you here
kick
scream
anything!
you went willingly
...
Just stop ignoring me for a minute
Remember what I said.
They can and may hurt you
we don’t want that do we?
you must prevent anything from happening to you
but shouldn’t that be instinct?
so far you haven’t helped my point.
Now look
look how untrusted you are,
not one doctor but six.
six doctors are here!
“We are here to just take care of you”
see how they have surrounded you?
“Its only going to be a physical”
my ass.
“Just lay down here”
Don’t you dare Jamie.
don’t be an idiot
...
what are you doing Jamie?
don't you lay down.
-
my god, sit back up!
run from the room!
stab a doctor in the eye!
Move Jamie
move now.
restraints are coming out.
you will be tied down
hopeless.
helpless.
and you are letting them do this!
“Just stay still, and be calm
we are going to give you some anesthesia
we need to do some tests”
What did I tell you!
what have you done!
stop letting them do this!
scream,
yell!
just say no.
Please Jamie
please stop this
-they’re moving in
-it’s on your face.
stop breathing it in.
It’s all going to end
it’s your fault
~
All yours
~•Part Three•~
21.
Floating
it’s like in space
all is calm
all is quiet.
~
But you’re not here Jamie
not quite
your mind and soul
that’s whats here
your body is now
…
Separate
Your not dead.
No.
not quite
not yet
see, you can move on
if you want
it would be as if you were dead
but
your body would live
with me inside
oh Jamie!
I could be
…
Truly alive!
my own body
all you have to do is...
you would have to move on.
go to the light, so to speak
heaven
if you prefer to think that way
though I doubt it’s true
and I will live on
while you will float
alone and in silence
no, not depressing
trust me.
it’s peaceful
~I guess
Please go
it’s better for the both of us
you had your chance at life.
give me mine.
Choose quickly
one of us has to go now
Leave!
I feel as if I am being...
pulled...
torn..
Help me Jamie!
22.~Epilogue~
“Now remember what we said to do Jamie”
Yeah, do what you told me
tell myself, or think,
about all the details in my life
what I know, and what is true
to keep calm or relaxed,
I guess
Okay, here I go,
My name is Jamie
I’m fifteen
I lived in foster care most of my life
but never had a true home
I had a voice
but not my own,
inside of my head
it told me what to do,
because it was for my own good
it told me I was a freak
an idiot
worthless.
I nearly took my own life from it’s suggestion.
it caused what I call a glitch
but the doctors say it was a form of seizure
and the voice was the effect of a tumor in my brain
But they took it out.
I nearly died.
and I easily could have, the voice told me to
but I didn’t.
I didn’t want to die on a table
But
I am alive.
I. Am. Alive.
and every thing seems quiet
like a dream
I feel alone
and I am.
I am alone in my own mind
It’s mine
and under my control
and I like this way
I feel almost strong,
brave
I could scream to the world how free I am
but I wont.
I still haven’t spoken
not for so long
I was so afraid
everything was dark
and I felt as if I didn’t have I voice
but I do.
I do.
I am strong,
I am alive
and my previous foster mom is out side
waiting
waiting to take me home
I am happy
I don't know the last time I thought that.
It’s like a window has opened for the first time in years
or the sun came up after a never ending night
All I have to do
is have courage.
open my mouth
and just say
...
“Hello”
~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you expect?
It’s not her fault.
Being teased and tortured is not something you ask for. She has problems, chances are you have issues of your own. Her problem is you, and what is your problem? You “fat” as she strives to be just as thin as you and she has already passed that line. Ask her the last time she ate and the -truthful- answer would be that she eats every meal. But she goes to the bathroom twice as often, but I wouldn’t ask her about that.
She didn’t mean for all this trouble to come her way.
The pain she received was not part of her intent. When was the last time you spoke to her, including listening? I doubt you ever have, and what ideas can come out of a tortured mind! The world is in front of her, so why won't you let her touch the stars? She sees the world in a way you can’t and she can bring a new light to life. You simply don’t want to hear, you don’t want to know, it doesn’t matter one bit to this world you’ve got to yourself.
What is life with one less child of Earth?
It couldn’t make such a difference. You wouldn’t hear who choreographed the new Broadway musical, or owned her own radio station. Anyone could have done it, if not her, someone else could do the job. Just one dream, scattered amongst a couple billion others. What makes this one so important? Someone else may need the opportunity more, why would you suddenly be so special?
Exactly, what makes you so special?
If she’s not worth it, then why are you? I see, you are pretty- potential model- I get it, what potential could she possibly have in this world where un-attractive is to be worthless. Maybe that’s what she is, worthless, amongst the movie stars, the singers and weight-loss-ads. Just say it, you’re all thinking it, she won’t make it. Not on this world, not in this life. You can’t expect any more from her. She’s surviving but she’s not cut out for what we call life.
Go ahead and ignore her.
She’ll have to get used to it anyways. No one wants her now nor will they ever. She’s too guarded, wrapped up in a great big unhealthy blanket of depression. You know you say her today, you have seen her every day of school since sixth grade. But where was she? Try to remember, she could have been in the back of fifth hour, maybe the bathroom, where did she sit at lunch, maybe she was in her usual corner. That one right next to the band room.
Remember?
That perfect hidden corner you saw her hunched in the other week. Remember her eyes, they were deep, dark, they could tell a million stories. She had dark make-up smudged under her eyes as if she had been crying. She couldn’t have feelings though could she. Attention, that’s all she was after, so why feed it and feel for her in any way?
What do you expect from her?
Or maybe you were wrong. Don’t deny you haven’t seen her scars, not only the physical ones, but the ones deep in her soul. She is cracking, about to fall to pieces. Too many pieces and she won’t be able to rebuild herself. So say hi. Just once, don’t let her hide away forever when the only thing she needs is a fellow human being to make her feel less alone. She doesn’t need a big group of friend, or to be very social, just to be less lonely. That’s what we all need right? A person to hold on to even if not very tight.
Be that bright light at the end of a tunnel.
Put a light into the darkness she faces everyday. Because just one hello can save a life, say it soon before it’s too late, don’t let her break. Know you won’t regret it, because one day you will look back and see have far away yesterday has gone.
This piece of writing took inspiration from the song "Yesterday", I don't think I need to explain why, but I thought I should let you know 
I'm sorry, I know it's not exactly happy...
I'm happy to say- this above entry has won the contest I entered it in! no one reads this so I have no shame in being excited about that!
