Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

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Should I try making this a novel and publishing it?

OMG YES. I would so buy this!
6
35%
Yeah, go for it. Why not? :)
7
41%
Um... I guess, maybe... *shrug* I dunno...
0
No votes
Perhaps not publishing, but it's pretty good.
1
6%
Yeah, well... It's kind of awkwardly worded and not very professional.
1
6%
Oh, gosh. You think this is publishable? Oh my, what the world is coming to...
2
12%
 
Total votes : 17

Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby wolves+horses » Sat Feb 02, 2013 9:56 am

Hello. I see you've come here to read my new novel idea. Well, thank you. :) I'm flattered. I don't really think there's much need for an introduction. It's simply a story idea that I was mulling over one day not so long ago on the bus when I'd forgotten my book. So I decided to try reading a book in my head in a way. While I tried (pretty unsuccessfully) to do that, this idea came into my head. I'm not sure if I want to tell you what it is yet, because I want you to read the story to find out. ;) Feel free to leave comments; I love hearing what people have to say, and I like constructive criticism. Enjoy! :thumbup:

NOTE: A lycan =/= a werewolf (at least in my mind). A werewolf turns into a wolf at night, and a human in the day. They cannot control this. They also get more powerful [and ADHD-ish type crazy :what: ] during the full moon, and much less powerful [and kind of boring] during the new moon. Lycans, on the other hand, can change into a wolf or human whenever they want to, and they're not very affected by the full moon. A little more than humans, but not like werewolves.
Last edited by wolves+horses on Wed Mar 06, 2013 9:35 am, edited 8 times in total.
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Re: Lycan Story [Title is a WIP]

Postby wolves+horses » Wed Feb 06, 2013 10:13 am

Prologue:

Moonlight trickled along the slender summer leaves, leaving a pattern of light and shadows on the forest floor. The air was saturated with the heavy scent of moisture clinging to the world. I closed my eyes, allowing a cool breeze to sweep by me, tiny pinpricks of mist pulsing along my skin. Breathing in and out once slowly, I welcomed the feeling of being home. For the first time in months probably, I felt truly at peace. I let my body guide me through the darkness, relying on all senses I had other than sight to help me notice every detail of the way, until I reached my destination. Though my eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the bright light of the full moon, I smiled, because I knew exactly where I was. This wasn't even just home; This was my home.

I listened intently to the flowing of the creek as though it was my favorite song. Perhaps it was. After jogging across the open rock carpet, which was gloriously smooth for sleeping on, I immediately got down on my hands and knees at the edge of the stream, savoring the moment. Despite the excessive light (as far as night goes), the silver glittering of the creek was almost the only part that was easily noticed, so after dark it began to appear magical. I smiled. This was magical. While the rest of the world was tucked away, blending in with the shadows of night, here I was sitting out in the open, the full moon casting a spotlight on me, as flowing supernatural lights flashed and flickered beside me, and the secret water played a delicate, tickling song. I felt so serene; This magical night was mine alone. Or so I thought.

There was a harsh rustling of leaves a fairly good ways off. I tilted my head a bit, curious as to which of my pack-mates was wandering around near my personal haven. Had they followed me? But it was coming from the direction opposite of that which I came. It didn't make sense, so I got into a crouching position, my ears straining to listen to the distant noise, and mentally prepared myself to make a mad dash if needed. Whoever - whatever - this was, I couldn't afford to waste time being upset about the moment being ruined. Luxuries were limited in the wild.

It was getting closer now, this creature too loud to be a deer. I softened my breathing until it was inaudible even to me, just in case it didn't know I was here. I hoped it didn't. I hoped it was some unaggressive black bear that had come to drink for a spell and wouldn't care one way or another that I was here. But for some reason, my heart was beginning to race, and I could feel adrenaline pumping through my veins. I imagined myself sighing. Why did my body have to react so ridiculously? It was simply the sound of a woodland creature walking around the woods at midnight. There was absolutely nothing abnormal there. Then again, a paranoid corner of my brain stubbornly whispered, you don't know what it is. It's big. It's coming closer and closer. And it's not a deer. I wished for that part of me to shut up, but it was relentless. Giving in to it, I allowed myself to be on high-alert.

That's when my scanning eyes caught a shadow in motion - no color, no form: Just a moving shadow. That happened to have the outline of a person I didn't recognize. Though I didn't take note of the fact that it was my instincts, I did consciously choose to immediately growl at him - her... it. This was an invader, a lycan trespassing on our territory. What did it think it was doing!? Territory was sacred. How... dare... it! Those were the only thoughts, and the overwhelming desire to tear at it until it ran away with its tail tucked between its legs the only feeling, I had. I expected it to turn to me and growl back immediately, but what it did instead caught me by surprise much more so than any other lupine move.

An easily detectable gasp escaped the lycan's lips, and it flinched ungracefully, slipping and falling into the creek, letting out a short cry of pain before whipping their eyes back to meet mine in mortal terror. Never would I have expected this. I stopped growling, extremely puzzled. Wouldn't he, as I could now tell, have expected to run into pack members on his lovely little expedition into our territory? It was enough for me to let my guard down. A lot. Who was honestly that stupid? He looked about my age, I observed - not that it really mattered. Really, the only odd thing about him was the way he reacted. My mind buzzing with fresh confusion, I slowly walked toward him. For whatever reason, something I couldn't name forced me to show less dominance than I wanted to. Perhaps it was due to the fear clearly coating his features, or the fact that he couldn't have been more than 15 or 16. Perhaps it was because I wanted to keep him here, at least for the moment. This was a very intriguing interaction, after all.

As I approached, he stood up as fast as he could, which wasn't all that fast really. I assumed it was from the shock of running into me. But why was that shocking in the first place? Even more disturbing was the fact that he didn't seem very suspicious of me. He had no sense of caution, which was evident from the first moment I sensed his presence in the way that he didn't so much as try to hide the sound of his footfall. Maybe he was toying with me...

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" A small hint of a growl lingered on my words. The boy seemed almost tantalized by the way I was acting, and it was bothering me more than I cared to show. This wasn't how intruders acted. It wasn't right. I couldn't help staring into his eyes with a steely, interrogational stare. But he deserved it anyway. I sighed, waiting for his mouth to catch up with his mind. A few moments passed. Why couldn't he say anything. "Do I have to repeat myself?" I issued the sharp question as a threat, abruptly inclining my head toward his so that I was looking slightly up at him, like a parent reprimanding their child.

"Uh, I... Uh... I - I'm sorry," he stuttered, his body shuddering slightly as he spoke. "I just..." A new look came into his eyes then, and the most unidentifiable of movements sent the silver-white moonlight into his irises, which were such an icy blue it almost astounded me. "But... Who are you?" he asked incredulously. I had to mentally halt there. He didn't know who I was? He couldn't tell? Hadn't he noticed the barbed-wire fence painted red, like all lycan territory borders were to be? And if he didn't know that I obviously belonged to the pack here - still an incomprehensible idea in and of itself - then how could the thought not have occurred to him before to wonder? This guy made zero sense.

"Who I am?" I said, half wanting it to be a joke. "Don't tell me you can't figure out who I am!" I stopped. "OK, don't tell me you can't at least figure out that I'm a part of this pack." I paused, giving him a very skeptical look. "Unless you're wondering who I am specifically. In which case, I'd like to know why you're asking."

"Oh, no! It's not like that!" he protested, nearly jumping back. Then he became very still and appeared to contemplate some abstract concept for a second before speaking again, but this time in a lower voice, quiet and breathy. "...Pack?" He said the word as though it didn't register in his brain, as though it wasn't a part of his vocabulary. I blinked, more lost than ever. I couldn't stop myself from wondering if he had gone completely nuts.

Sick of dancing delicately, I started showing my irritation. "Why ya say it like that? You seem confused," I said in mock innocence. However, the question wasn't rhetorical. We were both confused, and the only way to end it was for me to know why he was confused. So I awaited his response. Luckily, one came this time.

"Gee, thanks for making fun of me," he mumbled. I considered addressing it, but I didn't want to block his flow of thoughts. And besides: How could I not make fun of him for that? His next sentence seemed to perfectly answer that last question. "I'm sorry, it's just... What do you mean, 'pack?' Do you mean like your family, or a group of friends on a backpacking trip, or...?" When he mentioned backpacking, he shouldered his own now-sopping backpack. It wasn't a big one; In fact, it looked like a school backpack from what I could make out in the dimness of the summer night. This was the first time I'd noticed it. He must have caught on to my eying it, because he made an extremely weird assumption. "Oh, um. You a backpacker?" he guessed with a hopeful smile. I simply raised my eyebrows. That comment certainly did not deserve a verbal response. The smile disappeared, and he cast a downward glance. At least he can figure out how stupid he sounds - to a point, I thought with a tint of relief settling on my brain.

He looked back up at me with a look on his face that almost made me wonder if he would run away throwing up. Instead, he spoke up louder than before. "Could you just tell me what you mean?" Apparently he was quite exasperated. As if I wasn't!

"What I mean by what? What I mean by 'my pack?'" I could feel my own voice raising. I could hardly believe my ears. My breath spurt out from my mouth into a scoff. "I would sure hope a lycan knows what a pack is!" This time, I felt a twinge of something. I was actually becoming worried about him. What was wrong with him? Had something happened? Was he raised by loners? Then why hadn't his family started a pack? Questions ricocheted off the edges of my mind before I could process a single one. But his utterly confused-beyond-hope voice threw me off so hard I thought I'd been shoved off the side of a cliff.

"What's a lycan?"
Last edited by wolves+horses on Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:14 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby wolves+horses » Thu Feb 07, 2013 9:34 am

Chapter 1:

Jason. That was his name - the name of the boy who'd somehow managed to stumble upon my secret paradise in the middle of the night. And he was human.

In retrospect, I should have seen the signs. But frankly, humans weren't exactly common in this area, save for a few farmers that lived possibly ten miles away from the territory borders, if I remembered correctly. I would never have had reason to assume that a trespasser was human, seeing as our kind was vastly more populous, even if humans apparently never realized our very existence.

Jason grunted to clear his throat a bit before speaking up. "Can you please tell me your name now?" he asked wearily. "I told you mine," he continued, trying to reason with me. I looked back to him. Now away from my special wonderland, we sat on a log in a section of the woods that the rest of the pack was much more familiar with. Pale - almost chalky - morning sunlight progressively filtered in through the pine needles far above, making him clearer and clearer by the minute, and now I could see his face well, and I could see his hair. It was very intriguing hair: an even distribution of black, but always with a tint of very reddish brown outlining it, making it seem (to me at least) that the rich color was hiding somewhere inside the shadows of blackness. His face was thin, pale, and very smooth. "Well?" he questioned in a submissive tone. "Could you? I mean, your name might be just a little important if I'm going to address you."

I sighed, knowing I couldn't argue. "Vanessa," I stated simply without batting an eye. "And might you care to explain to me how exactly you got here?" That made him look away instantly with bubbling memories showing on his face. I barely felt a twitch at the edge of my lips. There was obviously something here that would make perfect sense if he could just give me the right puzzle piece. Something must have happened to him that was made talking about it uncomfortable. "Well, something happened to you from what I can tell," I offered, hoping to shove him in the right path. Every inch of him stopped moving completely then. Cautiously he nodded. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. He needed more shoving. "Jason." He flinched at the sound of his name coming from my stern voice. He knew I was serious now. Sadly, it only made him become increasingly uncertain. Maybe he needed some guidance. "Jason," I tried again, surprising myself with how solemn and caring I sounded. "What happened?"

His answer danced through the air on his breath. "I... I ran away from home." His eyes remained pointed toward the ground as he spoke, and for an instant he had the appearance of a little kid in time-out being forced to confess their crime. My eyes widened. Ran away? How far had he come? What could have driven him away with such mad force? "I didn't really know where I was going," he continued. "I just - I was just trying to get as far away as possible, so my dad wouldn't find me." He attempted a weak smile, and when he failed, he gave up. "I mean, I saw that red barbed-wire fence you talked about before... but I just didn't know what it was of course," he said, mentioning the conversation we'd had the moment I'd realized we were of two separate species. I nodded, masking my emotions in part because I wasn't sure what they were.

I reached into my mind, thinking back to that alienistic moment that - despite how hard it was to believe - had occurred mere hours ago. One of the last things Jason had said then was that he wondered if I could wait until dawn to alert the pack. I wasn't very keen on the idea, but he insisted that in the daytime people would think better and be able to see him [and him see us] more easily. Now I wondered what had possessed me to accept his request. It was torture waiting all night to send message to my pack about the invasion of a human into our territory, and even more torturous wondering for hours on end how Brandon (alpha) would react to the story of how I dealt with the situation. Apparently, I was about to find out now.

If I'd been in wolf form, my hackles would have bristled then. A middle-aged man with a thin but muscular build and short blond hair caught hold of my gaze from afar, and he held it there, locking me in place armed with the power of his dominance over me. Trying to close my eyes and block out the truth wasn't an option here; I needed to look like I knew what I was doing. His eyes narrowed, but the force in them hardened. Jason must have seen Brandon too, because he stiffened and looked to me desperately for an answer on what to do. I didn't give any signals to him as to how he should behave, knowing it would make him wait for my lead on how to go about discussing this bizarre situation.

"Hello there, Vena," Brandon said with a tight voice. His face twitched every now and then in the places that told me he wanted to growl. He turned to Jason, and the tension in the air became nauseating. Jason bowed his head, watching Brandon with the same fear that he'd shown to me last night. In return, Brandon only bared his teeth instead of a full on snarling. Jason's eyes widened as he witnessed the act. Interesting. He seemed to find it strange. Sadly for him, he had to witness more of it, because Brandon whipped around to face me again, and this time he actually growled, which had a deep rumbling when he did so. "Vanessa!" he seethed, using my full name. A whimper started trying to jump out of my throat. The alpha using my full name was definitely not a promising sign.

I silently took a deep breath, restraining my instincts to become submissive. "Alpha," I replied as calmly as I could manage, fighting back the shakiness clawing its way into my voice. "You - " I faltered then. I was about to say, 'You can't attack him,' but that would have sounded like an order. The thought of giving him such a stern order made me tense up more [which was apparently possible]. I was realizing how delicate the immediate situation was, and suddenly I started panicking. "Brandon." I started differently this time, hoping that I could appeal to his humanity. "We can't attack him," I continued, making sure to add we instead of you. Still, I mentally readied myself for some hardcore dominance maneuvers and mentally exhausting lectures afterward. "He doesn't understand. He... can't. He's human." I couldn't say whether I expected yelling, savage growling, both, or for him to simply look at Jason again with a new light. To my relief, he executed the last of those actions.

Not to my relief, however, was the expression - or shall I say, lack of expression - on Brandon's face as he turned to Jason to examine him another time. Silence swept over the three of us, so heavy that I swear I thought I was going to be crushed under the weight of it and crumple to the ground as it cracked my bones. Just as my sanity started slipping away with a dangerously fast advancement though, there was a single sound comprised of three smooth notes. All it took was the tiny solo of a titmouse to erase the dizziness from my brain. I could breathe again. In fact, I was nearly panting. Sometimes the world amazed me with things such as a seemingly silly detail, like a songbird's cry, being able to restore sanity to an alpha, an undoubtedly hormonal female lycan, and a teenage boy.

Brandon sighed, and I could sense the nails-on-chalkboard-like tension falling away, dissipating into nothingness. Normally this would comfort me, but now it meant that he would make his next move. What would it be? He stepped toward Jason nonchalantly, and I knew that I was about to find out. Right now.

"So," he began slowly, eying Jason up and down. For some reason, I found myself hoping that it didn't make Jason too uncomfortable. "What's your name?" he proceeded to ask. It was such an innocent question - but innocent questions led to easy discoveries, if one knew how to use them correctly and evaluate the power of the answer and how it was given. Perhaps I'm reading too far into this... I thought. No. I halted, mentally digging my heels in. This was Brandon; he was alpha for a reason.

"Jason," replied the owner of the name simply. Good; at least he was taking things slowly. Thank God we had such a patient alpha on our hands. Not for the first time since things had gone haywire, I let myself wonder just how carefully this human was evaluating the situation.

"Jason," Brandon echoed back, sounding far away. As the word pushed its way out of his mouth, he made certain to enunciate every sound hidden in the name, like a toddler who'd just found a sparkly rock and was turning it over uncountable times, considering if it would look good in their collection. It was eerily similar to the way Jason had mulled over the word 'pack' when I'd first told him of mine.

"So," he continued in a deceptively nonchalant voice. "How old are you?" With every question he asked, I saw more and more reasons why I wasn't very high ranking. He was so many things I wasn't: calm, confident, clever... Hmm. All C words. What was my letter?... NO! I remembered, stopping myself. This is no time to daydream! Snapping myself out of it, I turned my attention to Jason, but he'd apparently already answered, because the next thing I heard was Brandon saying, "I see." There was a pause in his speaking, and I tried using it to search for any emotion in his voice, but there was nothing I could clearly make out from it."You seem to be pretty nervous," he assessed. Brandon in his full alpha mindset was staggeringly tricky. No questions had been used, and yet an explanation from Jason seemed vital. Ah, the subtleties he used - normally for the sole purpose of aggravating everyone.

The boy on the log nearly jumped at the remark. A nervous sound somewhere in the gray area of a laugh, a scoff, and a sigh was emitted from his mouth that was now twisting into a sheepish grin. He knew how obvious it was. "Well, um..." He turned to me, his ice orbs locking onto my lightning-crackled green ones. "Va...nessa" he stumbled. "... Um, Vanessa here told me. About... you. Yyyou know... Who you are?" His eyebrows twitched madly. Couldn't he just spit it out? I could see Brandon's own eyebrows coming together in a scowl, so I made the nerve-racking decision to make things easier.

"He knows we're lycans," I practically yelled. Oops. I was about to apologize when Brandon cut me off, pinning me in his gaze without moving a single muscle.

"Thank you, Vena," he somewhat boomed. I shrank back a hair. The tone in his voice had made one thing very clear: that this interaction was to be between him and Jason alone. I gave a small nod, showing my understanding and respect for the actions the circumstance required.
Last edited by wolves+horses on Tue Mar 26, 2013 8:23 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby wolves+horses » Thu Feb 07, 2013 9:39 am

reserved
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Re: Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby wolves+horses » Thu Feb 07, 2013 9:42 am

reserved; that should do!
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Re: Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby Joypaw » Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:04 am

Goodness,such a taste for large,descriptive words! :clap: Well done,very nice work! :D
Hi, I'm Joypaw. I generally don't come on to trade pets, mostly to draw or write. Currently I am working on a novel called 'The Undergoing Way', and I'd be most overjoyed to hear your opinions on it~! For samples and updates, please check here: viewtopic.php?f=57&t=2321090
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Re: Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby wolves+horses » Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:11 am

Thanks, I love having a story be not just telling what happens, but having everything in the story be told with elaborate, poetic beauty. (At least, that's what I strive for anyway. :lol: ) But seriously, thank you! :) (I'm also really glad that someone is reading this!)
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Re: Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby Joypaw » Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:57 am

No problem,just glad your having fun writing. :) And I think you've met your goal of poetic beauty,aswell. :thumbup:
Hi, I'm Joypaw. I generally don't come on to trade pets, mostly to draw or write. Currently I am working on a novel called 'The Undergoing Way', and I'd be most overjoyed to hear your opinions on it~! For samples and updates, please check here: viewtopic.php?f=57&t=2321090
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If you ever see yourself doing something you thought you'd never do, please be careful. People do indeed change for the worst if not careful.
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Re: Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby wolves+horses » Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:14 am

Thanks again! :3 I'm feeling pretty serious about this one! :D
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Re: Lycan Story [Title a WIP]

Postby Joypaw » Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:22 am

Great! :D Can't wait for the next page.
Hi, I'm Joypaw. I generally don't come on to trade pets, mostly to draw or write. Currently I am working on a novel called 'The Undergoing Way', and I'd be most overjoyed to hear your opinions on it~! For samples and updates, please check here: viewtopic.php?f=57&t=2321090
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If you ever see yourself doing something you thought you'd never do, please be careful. People do indeed change for the worst if not careful.
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