{The Other World}{Book 1}{DISCONTINUED.}

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{The Other World}{Book 1}{DISCONTINUED.}

Postby leblanc » Thu Feb 07, 2013 5:08 pm

    {Hello everyone! I have been coming up with the perfect idea for a book/story. Hope you enjoy!}

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    S T A R E O F T H E F A E

    Δℓℓ Ƙιɛяα яɛмɛмвɛяɛ∂ ωαƨ тнɛ ƨтαяɛ σғ тнɛ вℓαcκ... animal, of sorts. It had the wings of a raven, and eyes like Onyx jewels. It had taken her sister... Oh no. her mind screamed. "No! Jay!" She jumped up. She was surrounded by a dense forest. There was singing in the distance. The forest was flickering, like a hologram. At first, it looked like the type you'd find in a happy fairytail.

    And then, it was full of black, twisted trees and a dark navy sky.

    "Jay!" She screamed. "Don't listen to them!... Wherever you are." She ended the sentence with a mutter. She looked around. There was nothing around her but the flickering trees, and... Were those eyes, glinting from a couple tree-lengths away? She didn't know. But all she cared was that her sister was alive and well.

    But what you need to know is how this all happened...

    Kiera stood in her small trailer, trying to calm her 10-year-old sister down. The twelve year old had tried everything, but nothing had worked. "Calm, Jay, calm!" she hissed to her sister.

    Finally, she had calmed down. Jay looked out the window. "Look at those pretty butterflies!" She said, pointing to a bunch of butterflies with icy blue wings and black markings. They seemed to change, though. They turned into these little... Humans, with butterfly wings, and elaborate makeup. Their wings fluttered on their back, and they giggled. They had all different hair colors, but other than that they looked exactly the same. Kiera blinked, and they were butterflies again.

    Weird....

    Jay looked up a Kiera. "What's wrong, sis?" She asked.

    Kiera looked down at Jay. "Nothing." She said. She looked out onto the forest ahead of them. "And remember, I'm in charge until mom gets home."

    "I know." The blonde ten-year-old said. "I wonder when she'll get back."

    "Why?"

    "I wanna go play in the forest. It looks so pretty!" Jay smiled up at Kiera.

    "O...okay. But stay near me, and always in my sight." With that, she walks out of the trailer, Jay following. She holds her sister's hand, walking into the forest. "There, in that clearing. You can play in there. I can see you clearly." She pointed to a grassy meadow. As Jay ran and got all her energy out, Kiera sat by a tree, looking around for any signs of danger.

    A pair of brown eyes were staring out at her, a few distances away. She caught the creature's eyes, and gasped. She got up, and slowly walked towards it, grabbing a heavy stick. The light finally shone on it, and she could make out the face of a wrinkled animal, the color of puke, staring at her with beady brown eyes. It had a crooked smile, and it had a huge nose. It had warts all over it's face. "What are you?" She said, holding the stick in hand.

    "I am not being what you seek, you will not be able to peek." The creature hissed through razor sharp teeth.

    She screamed and threw the stick at the creature. Before she did so, it flickered slightly, and finally, looked like a huge tarantula. She ran away from it. "What an unspeakable creature..." She muttered. She ran over to Jay. "We need to go." She hissed. "Now!"

    "But I want to stay!"

    "No! Come!" She roughly grabbed Jay's hand and drug her to the trailer, and shut the door and locked it. "Jay, I need to tell you something. You can't go out there because there are... Creatures. That you've never seen or heard of before out there. They could kill you. I'm sorry. We have to stay here."
Last edited by leblanc on Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:48 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: {The Other World}{Book 1}{OpenForCritique!}

Postby leblanc » Thu Feb 07, 2013 5:46 pm

    Open for critique!c:
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Re: {The Other World}{Book 1}{OpenForCritique!}

Postby leblanc » Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:23 am

    Bump c:
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Re: {The Other World}{Book 1}{OpenForCritique!}

Postby naturalharmony. » Fri Feb 08, 2013 5:41 am

Really good. very intriguing! Please write more! :)
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Re: {The Other World}{Book 1}{OpenForCritique!}

Postby leblanc » Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:21 am

    Thanks! I'm working on chapter 2, it'll be up soon! C:
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Re: {The Other World}{Book 1}{NoPosting}

Postby leblanc » Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:19 pm

    No comments\critique yet, working on Ch. 2 xx
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Re: {The Other World}{Book 1}{DISCONTINUED.}

Postby leblanc » Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:50 am

Attention!

I'm sure no-one really cares about this story, as I haven't posted since February, but I'm discontinuing. I will most likely re-write it, but some other way. The storyline may be the same though.
Thank you for your time~
xx
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