Pink- Story

[De Valence]

Honestly, I agree. This story is of low quality, but for goodness sakes, let's not be too critical.

[JaiBrooksForever<3]

I'm sorry but it's not really a story...there's no plot line. It's not really about anything. Good luck.

[yoyo8888]

I feel like it could be,though, I you wanted it become a story, kivits. I get the sense of motion and panic, but it could use a lot more fleshing out. Thinks about imagery, sensory details, and internal reasons for actions. Use your actions to show the characters and further plot.

[De Valence]

Okay. I'm trying to master the structure and the details, without sounding like a fairy. If you know what I mean.

[De Valence]

I'm sorry but it's not really a story...there's no plot line. It's not really about anything. Good luck.

And you know a lot about writing do you? I am trying my best to produce these stories even if you were lying, I would have liked some positive feedback!

[De Valence]

I am here again, telling my story, spreading the word. I was born over 200 years ago, to a mother and father of Irish descent. My parents believed that naming me Patrick, after St Patrick, would make me Catholic, but they were wrong. I became a Buddhist monk!!!!

[De Valence]

I am WHO I AM and if YOU TELL ME ANY DIFFERENT. You will die of a hideous cause. I hate all dem haters.